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Found this on Liverpool page and some of them are really hilarious

About Zlatan Ibrahimovic:

1 - when he was 10ys, Zlatan decided to live by himself. And his
parents just moved to another house.

2 - Zlatan lost his virginity even before his parents.

3 - one day Zlatan did a test in a lie detector machine. The machine confessed everything.

4 - Arsenal - when Zlatan was young, his parents used to sleep on his bed when they were scared.

5 - When Zlatan goes to your place to visit you, you're the guest.

6- the father's name of Zlatan is Zlatan Junior.

7 - one day Zlatan passed a red light and the police stopped his car. Zlatan charged the police.

8 - Zlatan helped the nurses when he was born.

9 - Zlatan never lies. The truth is what is wrong.

10 - when Alexander Graham Bell created the telephone, he already had three missed calls from Zlatan.

11- Oxygen needs Zlatan to survive.

12 - it is impossible for Zlatan to have a heart attack. Nothing is stupid enough to attack Zlatan.

13 - In school teachers used to raise their hands to talk with Zlatan.

14 - one day Zlatan missed two days in a row in the school. Later on, these days were called Saturday and Sunday.

15 - one day Zlatan arrived late at school. The other students were penalised because they arrived too early.
Jamie Vardy has rejected Arsenal and agreed a new deal with Premier League champions Leicester with wage said to be worth £100,000/week.
Gunners offering him a deal reported to be worth £120,000 a week.

Happy for Leicester and I hope they can hold-on to Kante and Mahrez
+2
I do too but Jaime is English, a cult hero, and the more likely to stay. Mahrez and kante are younger and will attract more interest, especially kante who suddenly is more important than pogba and griezman to France but has a low release clause.
..wait Kante has a release Clause? We should've activated the s**t out of it by now!
What does that say about Arsenal and Wenger, lmao. Fail.
+6
^yeah cos ur club legend just didn't join us last season did he lol
+4
^Sorry but that was because he had won everything that can be won with us and we had to sell him to make room for our youngster....It was time for Cech to relax , spend more time with family and save some money for retirement at a club with no pressure of winning.
+5
OK u think that after finishing what 10th?
+5
Lol wow thats a kick in the teeth....poor ar6nil
+2
Oh s**t!

Oh burn!

Dayummm!
RIP everyone.
Bluff i dont think that is necessary, Vardy rejected Arsenal because he hinks their style of play will not suit him, that is very good decision and it doesn't make Arsenal a failure, its best for both parties. Ibra would ve suits Arsenal more.
+3
@Obino Still hilarious as hell tho

@gooner Vardy isn't being told hes second choice
+1
Wilmots looking like a genius now! Belgium to semis?
gladbach director confirms
"We only spend the money we have. But in the case of Christensen we are of course willing to make him a record transfer. We know for sure that a player with his qualities won't be cheap."

Cant afford to lose him
should be allowed to leave, and if Chelsea is smart ..place a buy back clause on him :P
or just extend the loan for one more season and bring him back next year
no sale, only 1 more loan year
Sorry I forgot Jose's not around nomore.. Hope the youth is more appreciated now
England being England as usual..:P
+1
Chelsea move would be a 'dream' for Emanuele Giaccherini - agent

Expected to move to bridge for a price below 10m
+1
Link?
Hell No, he is already 31yrs. he didnt even cut it at Sunderland earlier. we have to invest in future rather than looking at short term.
http://www.espnfc.us/story/2898140/chelsea-move-would-be-a-dream-for-emanuele-giaccherini-agent
he had like one good game for sunderland if i remember correctly..
And Italy cruises through to the knock out stage.
hazard playing a bit better tonight... still belgium need to up their game if they wanna beat the good teams. they were invisible i the three first halves of this tournment.
R.Rodriguez is a talented LB who's been consistent for a few years if I'm not wrong. We should snap him up!
We should have signed him instead of Bada...but now its not going to happen
Why not. He hasn't finalized a move to a big/rich club yet.
Because UCL football!
UCL or lack of it is overrated the most important factor is money and future prospects. Bojan and Shaqiri left UCL football for a mid table PL team. Only Barca,Real,Bayern and City have more draw than us this window bcos all of those teams are expected to win or go very deep into the competition at least.

Only setback we will have to face is the exorbitant asking price for the players we want to sign partly due to the new PL deal kicking in and our lack of UCL football.
+1
We still have more draw than you ;)
+1
Which is why Hazard chose Chelsea...
That was like 5 years ago. Given the same choice right now, who would he pick? None of that "chelsea are champs of Europe" as a factor now. We can pay more, have a better coach, and possible better team next season. and we're a bigger club who won something last season. Tbf he might say city or even arsenal now overall since they have cl and money to burn.

And Cl is very important, hummels says he turned us down for a lack of it, but younger players who are guaranteed more gametime elsewhere may be more flexible. In Shaq and bojan's case it is a combo of money and playing time. I'm sure at least Shaw has a low release clause if a CL team came coming. He wasn't getting any minutes at his former club Bayern iirc. Can't recall why he left inter but i think they couldn't afford his wages.
Andreas Christensen named Borussia Monchengladbach's Player of the Season
+3
^ His a good player, I watched a couple of Gladbach's games when they come on my tv and he was really stand out for them. Most players need time to adjust, specifically defenders but his fit in like a glove. Conte should bring him back as squad player and let him work with Terry to earn his spot on the future.
CONTE WATCH

Our first team head Coach in waiting produced a masterclass last night with a comfortable win over a much more talented Belgium. Italy played with passion, togetherness and an assuredness built on his trusted and experienced backline from his Juve days in BBBC. I have seen reports comparing his tactics to Mourinho's and some even went as far as claiming he parked the bus which I find totally ludicrous. The stats were pretty even and Italy had more shots on target which is the closest thing to the most important stat of all; GOALS.

Everything we lacked last season was on display in abundance by the Italians; team spirit, passion, zeal, togetherness, fight, maturity, game management, tactical fouling(think Spurs) etc. But lets not get too carried away because Wilmots with Belgium is even worse than Roberto Martinez at Everton. Also Conte has the luxury of a very experienced spine most of whom he worked with on a daily basis for 3 years at Juve so they are familiar with his tactics. He also has the oldest team in the tournament which does help when it comes to seeing a game out like they did in the closing stages last night.

Ultimately Conte showed yesterday that he doesnt need star players to get a result against a much more talented side as epitomised by the goalscorers. What he showed is that he creates a team with the players he has and forges a style to suit them. While Pirlo- a midfielder- was the playmaker at Juve, last night is was Bonucci-a defender- orchestrating the play. Most important for me is that Conte is a true Coach who can take a most average player to another level as exemplified by Giacherini, Candreva, Pelle etc. I am fed up of this big spending mentality where if a player doesnt cost an arm and a leg then he isnt good enough. Why then do we have scouts? surely they are not paid all that money to find kids for the academy or players for our loan project. We need to spot talents like Manolas and Rudiger before they went to Rome, Koulibaly before he went to Naples etc. Maybe we have such players but not the right Coaches who can trust them and help them improve.

Conte fared pretty well against a much talented side and there was a bit of luck involved as the Belgians missed a couple of clear chances. Lets see how his team fare against a team with the biggest ego in football not including Mourinho.
+1


1 day ago
Antonio Sanabria to Tottenham? | Sadio Mané to Liverpool? | Cesar Azpilicueta to Manchester United? | Wayne Rooney to the charts?
2 days ago
Chelsea are exploring the possibility of bringing the Italy goalkeeping coach, Gianluca Spinelli, to Stamford Bridge to work under Antonio Conte
3 days ago
Real Madrid have confirmed that they will exercise their buy-back clause for striker Álvaro Morata, with the European champions set to pay €30m (£23m) for the player they sold to Juventus in 2014 for €20m
4 days ago
Nolito to Manchester City? | Toni Kroos to leave Real Madrid? | And Hal Robson-Kanu to West Brom?
6 days ago
Sofiane Boufal, the Lille forward, is expected to be sold for at least €25m this summer with Barcelona, Atlético Madrid, Arsenal and Chelsea among those interested
1 week ago
Romelu Lukaku hotfooting to Chelsea? Or Juventus? | Kevin Strootman heading for Everton? | Chelsea chasing André Gomes?
1 week ago
A complete guide to the new Premier League fixtures for the 2016-17 season, week by week
1 week ago
Steve Mandanda may be about to move to Chelsea in a deal that could mean Asmir Begovic leaving Stamford Bridge
1 week ago
Unai Emery to PSG? | Oleksandr Zinchenko to Manchester City? | Sofiane Feghouli to West Ham?
2 weeks ago
Yaya Touré to Inter? | Leicester to sign Troy Deeney? | Nani returning to Old Trafford?
2 weeks ago
Diego Costa back to Atlético Madrid from Chelsea? | Paul Pogba to Manchester United for £78m? | Stephan Lichsteiner to Chelsea?
2 weeks ago
Antonio Conte has spoken personally to Radja Nainggolan in a bid to persuade him to swap Italy for the Premier League
2 weeks ago
Chelsea to battle Manchester clubs for John Stones? | Liverpool to spend £30m on Sadio Mané? | Tottenham Hotspur in for £12m Vincent Janssen?
2 weeks ago
Former Chelsea manager called Carneiro ‘daughter of a whore’ in Portuguese when she ran on to pitch, tribunal hears
2 weeks ago
Chelsea are to step up their attempts to sign Álvaro Morata from Juventus before Spain begin their campaign in the Euros
2 weeks ago
Club’s former manager José Mourinho expected to give evidence at employment tribunal in Croydon
2 weeks ago
Eden Hazard declared his intention to stay at Chelsea, despite interest from Paris Saint-Germain
4 weeks ago
José Mourinho’s impending appointment as Manchester United manager has been held up by Chelsea owning the trademark to his name, with official documents showing the list of goods they can put his name to include after-shave, potpourris and even napkin rings
1 month ago
José Mourinho’s move to Manchester United has been held up because Chelsea hold the rights to the manager they sacked in December
1 month ago
Assessing the accounts of 2014-15’s top-flight clubs – and what the figures say about their financial health
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