The week in football – Hoeness taking advantage; RVP on the press; Ronaldinho's full of money; plus a punk attitude
Bayern Munich CEO Uli Hoeness: jailed for £23.8m of personal tax evasion, a year after his call for a fair financial ethos in football – a demand for Uefa to "kill" wealthy clubs trying to take advantage, and praise for sanctions already taken against Málaga. "The Málaga owner did not pay his bills. He lived beyond his means."
• Also from the 2013 interview: reasons why operating on the fair side of finance feels so good. "At Bayern we have not been in debt for 32 years. We never have to go to the credit department of a bank. Being able to do that is something which lets you sleep very well at night."
Taking up the fair play cause: Karl-Heinz Rummenigge, unhappy with the rich flouting financial ethics – "we have to try to come back to a rational and a fair way" – four months after his €249,000 fine for failing to pay tax on two Rolexes received as gifts in Qatar.
Robin van Persie: confronting media lies about his United future. "People are taking it upon themselves to think for me … I'm the only one who knows exactly what I'm feeling and that is not what I or the fans have been reading. The truth is I'm very happy here at this club … This is how I feel, though it's not what has been suggested in the media."
• Oct 2011, Robin van Persie: "I want to say something about my commitment to Arsenal because there have been many stories in the media lately. I am committed to Arsenal, and that's how it is, despite people [in the media] making up stories … I am committed, I am captain – fans should not believe everything they read."
Governing the football family last week – Central American confederation Concacaf, spelling out a new zero tolerance message for players who take bribes – a year after they reacted to the expiry of executive Horace Burrell's six-month ban for taking bribes by rehiring him, as head of finance, compliance and integrity.
• Concacaf's key message to the region's wrongdoing footballers: "They will think twice before interfering in the game we all love – or they will face the consequences."
Shakhtar Donetsk's Romanian coach Mircea Lucescu: assessing this month's prison sentences for eight top football figures in his homeland over money laundering and fraud. "The punishments were way too much. It's because the case was judged by women who have no idea about football."
Sierra Leone's FA intervening after ex-Monaco striker Mohamed Kallon called police claiming FA president Isha Johansen slapped him after a match, "leaving bruises". Johansen says she was reacting to the player's behaviour; both deny wrongdoing.
Last week's big move – Germany, 5 Mar: Stuttgart president Bernd Wahler: "Following what was an emotional game in Frankfurt, we took the time we needed to calmly analyse the situation in peace. The board made the decision to continue with Thomas Schneider, 100%." 9 Mar: Sacks him.
Zimbabwe: Prophet and Robert Mugabe associate Uebert Angel, suing broadcaster SuperSport for £900,000 for reporting he foresaw a Liverpool title win in December. Lawyers say the article "has put his reputation in jeopardy" and he "risks losing followers". SuperSport deny liability.
Romania: Steaua owner Gigi Becali giving his first interview from prison with a message for the country's president Traian Basescu. "I suffer the torment of a beast in here. Humbly, I pray to be pardoned for Easter." His reasoning: "How big a criminal really is a thief who steals €600,000, but gives €30m in gifts to others?" Basescu's verdict: "He's in a difficult situation. I'm considering it deeply."
Italy: Bari's Enis Nadarevic, banned for three games for biting an opponent's thigh, on what really happened: "I bit nothing. I just supported my face on his leg, while I was falling down."
Romania: Astra owner Ioan Niculae, assessing captain Constantin Budescu's form. "He eats too much and shows a punk attitude. I thought he'd matured past puberty, but a seven year old has a bigger brain. I'll fine him."
Romania coach Victor Piturca, who barred striker Adrian Mutu from the team in November for posting a Photoshopped image of him as Mr Bean, assessing a potential reconciliation. "Mutu called me and asked me to put him back in the squad. I told him I'll do it when frogs fly."
Brazil: Ronaldinho – fined last week by Atlético Mineiro for being late to training after "personal excess" at the Salvador carnival – launching the video for his new rap collaboration Let's Drink featuring DJ Dennis; chorus – "Boot the glass up high, let's drink / We will enjoy life, we drink / I'm full of money, let's drink."
Brazil: Model Andressa Urach, moving away from football after last year's links with Cristiano Ronaldo, which he denied. "I've found a man, not a boy, who understands me. He's bought me 10 new pairs of shoes, a new wardrobe and my Pomeranian puppy, Pimpão. It's about respect."