David Moyes's first match in charge of Manchester United ended in a disappointing defeat
So the David Moyes era begins with something of a whimper, a 1-0 defeat to a Singha All Stars XI. It's an inauspicious way to start but at least he's astutely lowered expectations right from the get-go. Another way of looking at is that United were missing loads of key players, that pre-season isn't important and that this was their first match of the summer. Cheers for reading. Bye.
That's your lot!
90 min+1: The corner is whipped in from the left and Welbeck heads over from six yards out.
90 min: We're entering Moyesie Time. And United have a corner.
89 min: David Moyes looks miffed.
85 min: Januzaj diddles his way into the area on the left but he can only poke a shot straight at the goalkeeper. He was falling as he hit it.
82 min: What an effort from Wilfried Zaha! He cut inside from the right, moved the ball on to his left foot and then bent a peach of a shot past the bodies and on to the far post, the ball flying away to safety. So unlucky.
81 min: This is an impressive miss from Welbeck. Phil Jones lined up a shot from long range, which Welbeck did magnificently to pluck out of the sky, hanging up a long leg to bring the ball down on the edge of the area, before he bustled his way past a couple of players, only to drag his shot wide from around 12 yards out.
80 min: It's actually happened! The first of the new season. "Nice to see Guardian cover Manure live leaving us LFC fans to slum it with ESPN - get in 0-2 YNWA," says Stephen Amore.
79 min: "This sounds pretty terrible for a pre-season," says Gareth Squance. "Moyes needs a win for his confidence and the teams. No doubt Rooney will be watching and thinking!" I don't know about. This is almost a reserve side.
78 min: Patrice Evra replaces Fabio.
77 min: "I'm reading it," says Jamie Jackson, who's actually in Bangkok.
75 min: Fabio hangs a cross up to the far post, where Zaha heads wide.
73 min: "Mrs. J.R. in Illinois just saw my latest contribution and expressed concern," says Mr JR in Illinois. "I assured her that the reason I said that is because someone seriously called you that last season and that you understand i am fooling around, but she wasn't so sure other people would understand. I would think they do, don't they?" Luckily no one apart from you is reading this, so it doesn't matter.
71 min: Zaha breaks into the area, tries a couple of stepovers, falls over and watches the ball run out for a goal-kick. Moments later, Januzaj shifts the ball on to his left and forces a good save out of the All Stars goalkeeper from 20 yards out.
69 min: We haven't seen much of Wilfried Zaha yet. What a waste of money.
67 min: United are struggling to find any rhythm right now. It's all a bit sluggish.
63 min: Giggs, Cleverley and Anderson are replaced by Phil Jones, Wilfried Zaha and Jessie Lingard.
61 min: United are preparing to make a triple change.
60 min: Anderson couldn't trap a bag of cement at the moment.
58 min: Fabio dashes past a defender on the left, opens up his body and tries to bend one into the far corner with his right foot from an angle. The All Stars goalkeeper beats it away.
56 min: "Hope you're having a nice summer," says JR in Illionois. "It has only been sporadically as hot as the third level of Hades here, as opposed to being constantly that hot, so I guess I can't complain. I just wanted to comment on the fact that y'all have an MBM for the Manchester United game but not for the Liverpool game by being the first person this (pre) season to call you a biased retard. Please tell me I'm the first."
Football, I have missed you so.
55 min: Giggs embarrasses a defender on the left with an outrageous nutmeg but his cross-shot is deflected behind for another corner, from which nothing of any note occurs.
54 min: Cleverley plays in Welbeck on the right but his shot on the turn is straight at the goalkeeper.
53 min: Turns out Teeratep Winothai spent some of his youth career at Crystal Palace and Everton, and also had a year with Lierse in Belgium.
Oh dear. This has happened a few times. The All Stars cut through midfield far too easily and suddenly found themselves running at the United defence, which was woefully exposed. The ball was shuffled to the right of the area, and Amos will be disappointed a fairly tame shot from Teeratep Winothai - albeit one which seemed to wrongfoot him - beat him at his near post.
48 min: No evidence that the Moyes Hairdryer has worked yet. "All that merch in the stadium!" says Deepu Sebastian Edmond. "If it helps put it in perspective, a ManU Home 2013-'14 shirt costs Rs. 4560 as of today's exchange rates (price in the club's website). India's monthly per capita income was Rs. 5729 for 2012-'13."
47 min: "You may appreciate a young and gifted local scout's opinion of the All Star's," says Daniel Montefusco. "Nopdanai claims they're "rubbish." So there you are. There may be some bias in that young scamp's summation. What team does he support? "Manchesterrr". Arr, the sweet power of global capitalism."
46 min: The second half begins. Let us see if the hairdryer has been used.
Peep! Peep! See you in 15.
43 min: Up the other end, suddenly Anderson is through on goal after a chipped pass from Giggs but he can't get the ball down and it's hooked behind for a corner, which is a total waste of time.
42 min: Amos does well to field another sighter from long-range.
38 min: "Sir Alex's first United team sheet recently sold for £20k at auction," says Martin Taylor. "Somehow I can't see today's effort from Moyes ever fetching that..."
36 min: A fantastic save from Amos keeps United level. Once again they were exposed by a straight ball over the top and as two United players converged upon the All Stars striker, he produced a snappy volley from 15 yards out which Amos pushed behind. The corner comes to nothing.
35 min: On the left, Fabio pulls a ball back for Welbeck, whose first-time shot is straight at the goalkeeper.
34 min: Rafael replaces Buttner, who seems to have picked up an injury.
31 min: Buttner suddenly finds himself in space on the left of the area but wants too long and has to settle for a corner. It's taken short and Januzaj makes a nuisance of himself on the left, only for his cross to drift out of play. He's not lacking confidence, this kid; he's had some bright moments here and there.
30 min Part II: This is the best chance for United so far. From the left, Giggs curves a lovely pass round the back of the All Stars defence and into the path of Welbeck. It's a touch too heavy though and Welbeck tries to nip it round the goalkeeper, who reads the ruse well.
30 min: 30 minutes of pre-season and I'm bored! Ta ra, Moyesie!
28 min: United haven't had a shot on target yet. Moyes Out!
26 min: A Midfielder has a pop from 30 yards out. He catches it well but it's straight at Amos.
25 min: Our man on the ground is Jamie Jackson and he's been using Twitter.com.
22 min: What a chance for Januzaj. From the right, Fabio whips a delicious cross into the six-yard box. It's a horrendous one for defenders to deal with, so they don't, and Januzaj nips in to blast a volley over the bar with the goalkeeper flying out to put him off. If anything, he hit it too well.
18 min: The first glimpse of David Moyes, who strides out into his technical area to deliver a few stern words to whoever's wronged him. He walks back to the dug-out with his eyes blazing. He's got this one down to a tee.
17 min: This is being played at the pace of a pre-season friendly.
14 min: It will be interesting to see how Fabio fares after spending last season on loan at QPR. This shouldn't necessarily be the case - but two years on, it's weird to think he's started a Champions League final.
13 min: For a moment, young Januzaj stands over the ball before being swiftly ushered away by Ryan Giggs, who then proceeds to plonk his free-kick straight into the wall. Still got it.
12 min: United are awarded a free-kick for handball just outside the area.
11 min: The All Stars are playing some football befitting of their name. They work their way through the United midfield with some neat one-touch passing but Left Winger blazes his cross high and wide. A waste.
8 min: You're all at your barbecues, aren't you.
7 min: This has been a breezy enough start from both sides. Anderson slices open the All Stars down the right flank with a fine pass through to Januzaj. He waits for support and then rolls a pass across to the onrushing Cleverley, who scuffs a hurried shot wide from 15 yards out under pressure.
5 min: This was almost the perfect start for the All Stars. A simple long ball over the top caught the United defence horrible square and the, er, All Stars, er, striker - we'll call him Striker - found himself clean through on goal. He was around 25 yards out but he took far too long to get himself set, failed to realise that Jonny Evans was furiously making up ground on him and eventually saw his shot blocked by Evans. A let-off for United.
3 min: Giggs sends Buttner haring away on the left and although he seems to be fouled by the byline, the referee gives a goal-kick. On the touchline, David Moyes's nose goes a shade of purple.
2 min: "I believe Sir Alex missed a meaningless Champions League (or other cup) match some years ago when he scouted David De Gea," says Yuval Weber. "Some more pedantic pedants probably recall which one."
And we're off! Manchester United, kicking from right to left, get the game underway. After 30 seconds, Giggs gives the ball away in midfield, allowing the All Stars to start an attack which Amos mops up.
Kick-off was supposed to be at 2pm but just look at the time. Moyes Out!
The referee leads the teams out, picking the ball up off the plinth along the way. The All Stars are in white shirts and blue shorts. Manchester United are wearing red.
For the first Manchester United team of the David Moyes era: Amos; Fabio, Ferdinand, Evans, Buttner; Cleverley, Carrick, Anderson, Giggs, Januzaj, Welbeck. Subs: Lindegaard, Rafael, Evra, Jones, Zaha, Lingard, Keane
Singha All Star XI: Eleven stars.
Hello and welcome to the start of a brave new world. For the first time in 27 years, we will not see Sir Alex Ferguson when the cameras pan to Manchester United's dugout - although if you want to be really pedantic, and those of you know your Premier League Years will be aware of this, he missed a 3-2 home defeat to Middlesbrough on 19 December 1998 in order to attend a wedding - but David Moyes. This is the former Everton manager's first match in charge of United and although it obviously doesn't mean too much, he could probably do with a 400-0 victory over a Singha All Star XI to keep the doubters at bay for about two minutes.
It has been a relatively quiet start to life for Moyes at Old Trafford, with much of it spent talking about the future of Wayne Rooney, who is still definitely not for sale, although Jose Mourinho has been caught making tentative noises about him in the past couple of days. Otherwise it's the same old for United: they need a midfielder, they haven't signed a midfielder yet. Moyes knows this but it looks like his main target, Thiago Alcantara, is going to join Pep Guardiola at Bayern Munich, who clearly still aren't over losing that Champions League final in 1999. Ryan Giggs is still around, Paul Scholes isn't. Phil Neville is back as a coach and Moyes, having dispensed with Mike Phelan and Co, has brought in a few of his chums from Everton. All in all, it's been a low-octane start. The Singha All Star XI should put an end to that.
Kick-off: 2pm BST (And it really is BST! Just look outside! What are you doing reading this?)