That was unfortunate for Lukaku. I know it's a cliche but his run was very tentative.

Bayern Munich win the Uefa Super Cup.

Thanks for your emails and contributions. Have to go. Bye!

Bayern win 5-4 on pens.

Dreadful penalty.

Saved.

Lukaku for Chelsea.

Oh … scores but Cech almost got a hand to it.

Shaqiri for Bayern.

Bayern 4-4 Chelsea after eight pens.

In off the post but good enough.

Scores.

Cole steps up for Chelsea.

Scores. Bayern 4-3 Chelsea.

Ribery for Bayern.

So it's 3-3 after three pens each.

Equalises.

Lampard for Chelsea

Lahm to take … and scores. Bayern 3-2 Chelsea.

Updated

Little stutter in his run then put it above Neuer's dive.

Scores. That's 2-2

Oscar for Chelsea

Sends Cech the wrong way and scores. Bayern 2-1 Chelsea

Kroos for Bayern.

Absolutely smashed it into the top right corner.

Scores. Bayern 1-1 Chelsea

David Luiz for Chelsea

Scores. Bayern go 1-0 up.

Alaba to take it.

Bayern are going first

"I refuse to watch the rest of this, I feel sick," says Bronwyn Jones. Aw, c'mon Bronwyn. If you could watch in Munich in 2012 this is a cinch.

Peep, peep, peep

Penalties are imminent.

GOAL!! Bayern 2-2 Chelsea (Javi Martínez)

After keeping Bayern at bay with clearance after clearance with seconds to go Lampard's hits Dante and falls for Martinez about eight yards out on the left and he slots his shot home.

120 min + 1: Ivanovic heads clear but the ball is lumped back in the box and …

120 min: "What is it about playing under Jose that turns Cech from a good keeper into an incredible one?" asks Matt Dony. José love, Matt.

119 min: Boateng now has an opening for a dig from the edge of the area with his left foot after good work by Gotze but pings it over the bar.

118 min: The ball gets up and over the wall but Cech is now having a blinder after his early error and blocks it with both palms after a full-length dive.

117 min: Mourinho waves his arms, demanding noise from the Chelsea fans as they defend a free kick after Oscar's trip. Twenty yards out to the left of goal. Ribery will take.

Updated

116 min: Mandzukic screams at the referee, demanding a penalty after colliding with Ivanovic - or more accurately feeling his hand on his shirt. No dice.

114 min: Cech again saves Chelsea by running out and closing the angle when Gotze gets a clear run in from the right and stops the shot with his torso.

112 min: Brilliant from Gary Cahill who prevents Javi Martinez's header back across goal from going in with an astute block. Terry comes on for Hazard. It's Alamo time, then.

110 min: John Terry is warming up and getting his instructions from the manager. Alaba's thrust into the box from the left breaks down when Oscar takes it off him and runs 50 yards upfield, using Hazard and Lukaku to keep Bayern penned back for 45 seconds or so before they are outnumbered.

109 min: Shaqiri swings in a cross from the right but it goes parallel to him, weirdly, and Lukaku thumps it clear.

106 min: Lukaku is making bullocking runs to try to occupy the Bayern defenders but on his own he can't keep them back in their half long enough and when Bayern break Javi Martinez crosses from the left and Mandzukic beats Cole in the air but Cech saves. Back comes the ball in from Javi Martinez and Cech pulls off a stunning low save from Mandzukic's header again.

"Allow me to repeat myself, trills Shooby Taylor. "Best manager in the world. Best team in the world. Time for the doubters to start taking notice again!" If any other team carved Bayern up with a man down their praises would be sung to the high heavens. Start singing Rob. The first line is: "Jose, the hero of men has returned at last". You know the rest. The only song I know goes "When I was just a little boy, I asked my mother what should I be. Should I be Chelsea, should I be Leeds, here's what she said to me …"

Updated

105 min: From the edge of the box Lahm lifts a cross into the area but Luiz heads it away then Cahill makes three significant blocks, two from Javi Martínez. They're throwing their numbers forward, Bayern, but rather like when Barça used to throw Gerard Pique forward when they were losing late on, they don't have any orthodox, old-fashioned options. That's half time. Fifteen minutes to go.

102 min: "I'm waiting for a comment on the irony of Eden Hazard scoring the game winner in the Eden Arena..... and GO!" Is it ironic (yes if you're you're Ms Morrissette) or coincidental? Gary Cahill is a good defender is he not? Can't play in the truest sense but a very good stopper.

100 min: Ribery cries penalty when he goes over in the Chelsea box but the referee doesn't agree and Hazrad, Oscar and Lukaku strive heartily to get the ball 80 yards away from their goal and win a throw.

99 min: Kroos tries to stride through the middle between the midfield and Chelsea's defence, making use of their extra man, but Mikel dogs him all the way and nips it off him.

98 min: "There's some similarities between Ribéry and Hazard," writes David Hindle. "They both speak French. They both have amazing ball skills, and I'll wager one day, they'll both have won European footballer of the year. He's seriously good." He is. "btw. Mario Who?" The invisible Man tonight.

96 min: Neuer was at serious fault for the goal, completely flat footed he went the wrong way and watched the ball go past him only a foot or so away but he was stranded. Chelsea sub Lukaku on for Torres.

95 min: Chelsea are experts at these counter-attacking swoops. Bayern sub Shaqiri on for Robben.

GOAL!! Bayern 1-2 Chelsea (Hazard)

Excellent long threaded pass from the centre circle down the left, Hazard latched on to it, ran horizontally into the box, cut back on to his right and smashed his shot past Neuer.

Updated

93 min: "Absolute clusterf*** of a referee," says Debanuj Chakrabarty. "He was itching to send a player off!! It was abundantly clear that he got the ball first … what is he supposed to do after that? Vanish?" He's supposed not to whack his opponents' shin with his studs at high speed.

91 min: Bayern free kick on their right taken by Robben which he drive/curls over the bar.

Just seen the "tackle" again. It was a straight red.

"Andy Townsend has really outdone himself by saying that the sending off was 'unlucky'," says Declan kelly. "It was unquestionably a second yellow card, and arguably a straight red. A classic potential leg-breaker if ever there was one. Of course it goes without saying that if the roles were reversed, Andy would be singing a very different tune."

"Is this better than watching Mrs Brown's Boys?" asks Ian Copestake. I am watching Mrs Brown's Boys.

Back for extra time in a moment.

Full time: Bayern Munich 1-1 Chelsea

90min+1: Rasmus Löb questions Andy Townsend's judgment: "That was a straight red, not a second yellow." Only saw it once, sorry.

90 min: David Luiz hits the free-kick straight into the wall.

89 min: Torres is now booked for something off the ball while waiting for Cech to take the goalkick. When he does Dante knocks Torres flying and Chelsea have a free-kick about 30 metres out to the right of centre.

88 min: Chelsea step back with a line of four ind defence and three in midfield and invite Bayern to try to go through them if they can. Ribery gets the ball on the edge of the area and attempts to pinball it through but misses everyone and his shot goes out for a goalkick.

RED CARD!! (Ramires)

86 min: Ramires is sent off for leaving his foot in on a forceful tackle on Gotze. Andy Townsend reckons he was unlucky but it looked a (second) booking to me. Mikel comes on for Schurrle in response.

Updated

85 min: Now Chelsea have a free-kick wide on the right that Lampard arrows to the back post where Luiz meets it with his head and great momentum from his run but Neuer saves it at close range.

84 min: Kroos takes up a good position, drifting away from Lampard to a spot just in front of the D and Mandzukic's cross finds him but it's a bit high to shoot accurately and firmly and his effort is blocked out for a corner.

82 min: Bayern's free-kick about 25m out is threaded through by Ribéry for Götze who tries to dance his way to the six-yard box but Ramires steps in and bustles the ball away.

80 min: After the corner Lampard lifted the ball back into the box on the left side for Schurrle who had strayed half a metre or so offside..

78 min: Javi Matinez comes back on, at first hopping, then running. Chelsea have a corner and Lampard expertly after wasting a few sticks it slam bang on David Luiz's forehead for a glancing flick to the header beast Ivanovic who powers it close but Neuer keeps him out.

75 min: Now Torres takes out Javi Martinez with a horrible raking kick down the back of his leg that the referee cannot have seen. He looks badly hurt but then limps less gingerly.

74 min: Dante clears Torres out in a challenge, knocking the wind out of the striker as they both fought for a clearance but the referee thinks it was sound.

73 min: Ribéry wins a corner on the right then urges the crowd to make some noise. What a combination of powerful running and dainty footwork he has.

72 min: Bayern sub – Mario Götze on for Thomas Müller, umlaut fans.

70 min: No need to cut and paste Copestake's earlier 70th minute contribution as they've broken the shackles this past five minutes though Cech's shaky positioning almost undid their revival work a moment ago.

68 min: Chelsea have had the chances on the break, Hazrad scuffing his shot when he'd got behind the centre-backs and then Ramires working the ball back towards the middle of the goal and trying to bend it in with his left foot but his shot was blocked.

65 min: David Luiz is given a yellow card for a foul on Mandzukic when the two challenge for a header, the Chelsea defender's case being that Mandzukic was obstructing him. It was rather impetuous though.

63 min: Lampard and Oscar miss good chances for Chelsea, Oscar's by far the more straightforward following Schurrle's cross – my he's good – and Oscar had to lift it over Neuer or place it either side of him from about eight yards but the keeper saved his straight shot and Lampard sent the rebound over.

61 min: Chelsea win a corner after Schurrle breaks and curls in a deep cross towards Torres but Lahm beats him to it and heads it out. Lampard wastes his corner, sending it far too forcefull towards the back stick and it booms out for a throw. Apropos of which, Ben Clatworthy says: "I think Lampard has been terrible this game. Weak on the ball, bad in defence and has done nothing of worth. All the while, Mata is sat on the bench, it's a crime." Blasphemy.

59 min: Robben scampers through the middle from his starting position on the right trying to work an opening to shoot but Chelsea manage to deny him one without getting control of the ball. As Ian Copestake says: "Rob, just in case you need a cuppa on 70 mins, feel free to use this MBM minute I made earlier: '70 mins: Chelsea continue to huff and puff in defense but do not look like getting a goal any time soon. The special M needs to shuffle his pack methinks.' You're welcome." That's the pattern.

57 min: Bayern substitution – Rafiniha off, Javi Martínez on. Lahm to right-back.

55 min: Free kick from the left about 20 yards out is sent to Robben tracking out of the box on the half-volley but it would have needed a goal of the season finish to score. He's capable of that, but not then.

53 min: Ribery and Kroos combine to steal the ball off Torres but Ramires halts their progress into the box with a well-judged intervention with his toe.

50 min: But then again, Ribéry did spank it. Chelsea are struggling for possession this half. Yes, we know, that for two years in Europe that possession doesn't matter but they don't half look a wee bit bereft when they don't have the ball for most of five minutes. Their patience and concentration is imperious, though.

48 min: Now Ribéry has an audacious attempted volley on the edge of the box by the left corner but shanks it wildly. I think Cech was at fault for that goal, caught unawares by Ribéry going for the more obvious and therefore more difficult near-post option.

Updated

GOAL!! Bayern Munich 1-1 Chelsea (Ribéry)

Searing, dipping shot from the left at Cech's right post and the keeper is beaten a little too easily, getting his finger tips to it but can't stop it.

46 min: We're off and Torres is up the left and running into the box, moving the ball between his feet, not quite dribbling more hurtling but his lay-off to Oscar isn't read by his team-mate and Bayern clear.

"The goal from Torres was amazing," writes Gokul Kannan. Indeed it was. "It was pure striker’s instinct. But this goal will surely not get him anywhere. This is the basic problem with Chelsea. There is no support from the club or the supporters. If Torres were at Liverpool and had a lean period , a goal like this would have been celebrated as never before. You see these two wonderfully taken goals in 2010, when his lean period started, is what made Abramovich pay 50m without a second thought. But we Liverpool absolutely loved those goals and Roy Hodgson diplomatically indicated that “Torres is back”. I bet that won’t happen at Chelsea. Don’t believe me - See what Sturridge has done at Liverpool."

What is that song that Bayern fans sing to the tune of the Entertainer? The one Manchester United fans used to use for their follow to Glasgow thing when they felt it their destiny to win Big Cup at Hampden Park?

"Is it still the deliberate policy of the Guardian to not make it easy to see what the current score is on the MBM page?" says Graeme McNeil. "Because it is just as irritating as it always was – well done." Thanks. It was my idea, actually. One of my best. I stand by it entirely and am willing to refund your entire entrance fee if you're not satisfied.

"Re the photos at the top of the MBM," writes Chris Fitzgerald. "It's wile e coyote v the Martian leader from Mars Attacks! I’m totally distracted by the visual similarity between these animated characters and the other, well, animated …characters…"

45 min: That's half time. Good game, good game.

43 min: Mourinho ought to be pleased with Torres's work so far, he's just bullied a throw out of Alaba. Bayern deal with the throw-in easily then break up the right through Kroos who hist the first man, David Luiz, with his low cross.

40 min: Cahill is booked after climbing for a header with Muller and clipping the back of the attacker's head with his arm. "Do Bayern supporters now crow about numbers of passes? Possession?" asks Damien Neva. Let's ask the audience. They're having an awful lot of possession but then they did last year, too. Chelsea are defending very well, Ivanovic taking a tumble when Robery leans into him wide on the left 10 yards from goal.

38 min: "While my knowledge of Bavarian footballers could be written in German on a necessarily large postage stamp, I have another claim to fame," brags Copestake I. "I posted a pic of FB of me mowing my folk's lawn and it has gone viral, trending under garden working or #gwerking." There'll have three blogs on it by midnight.

36 min: Clive Tyldesley has made the pertinent point that Robben is having little penetrative effect down Bayern's right because Cole is playing him so well but a second or two later, Robben spins Cole and drifts inside sending a near post cross to Muller that Cahill's excellent slide blocks out for a corner.

33 min: "Mata is on the bench again in this match?" asks Arun Pradeep rhetorically. "He didn't play against Man U, their first big game of the season, but it was later said Mourinho had explained the reasons to him. Now he's dropped him again. Even accounting for Mata's exertions for Spain in the summer, this doesn't look like a ringing endorsement of faith." Well, he hasn't dropped him because he's never picked him but it does seem he don't, in the game's lingo, "fancy him". Bayern keep targeting Hazard who Chelsea are using for their out ball from defence. Lahm and Kroos step back to rob him. Ribery has about his 10th shot of the half from the left of the box and again gets no curl on it and goes straight out handsomely wide. Yes sir we have no banana shots. We have no banana shots today.

31 min: Powerful run from Schurrle up the right, storming past Alaba, works another opening for Torres at the near post. The pass is to his feet and his turn gives him a narrow sight of goal. He tries to blast his shot into the roof of the net but smashes it over instead.

29 min: Ribéry shoots right-footed from the left of the 18-yard line and squirts it through Cahill's legs and across goal. Lovely turn to get rid of Ivanovic and Ramires before his shot and Alaba's run helped him to work the space.

26 min: Alaba has a chance after Cahill messes up a clearing header and the left-back races on to it and gets to the byline but wastes his cross.

24 min: "Re: preamble," says Ryan Dunne. "Come now, you mean to say you actually had PLANS (possibly even of a leaving the house, talking to girls variety?) for Friday night!? Surely that will alienate the stereotypical MBM reader?! I myself can't stay for the whole MBM tonight, as I have a hot date (well, Star Wars podcast to listen to, but it's the same idea)." Nah, no plans. Never go out on a Friday these days. I'm a Monday/Tuesday man. I don't speak to girls then, mind. I go all red and become an expert on shoelaces. Andre Schurrle is bundled over by Rafinha and gets up clutching his ear. I wonder of he now has a "thick ear". Do they still exist?

22 min: Now Ribery does get on the end of a pass, this one from Mandzukic who was found by a great pass from Alaba. Ribery, a couple of metres outside the box, fairly central, tries to curl it around the defebnder and into Cech's bottom left corner but the keeper gets down sharply to palm it away.

20 min: Ribery cuts in from the left and he and Muller almost combine for an exquisite one-two when Muller pops it around Gary Cahill but Ribery can't get to the return before David Luiz. "Best manager in the world. Best team in the world," says Shooby Taylor. "Time for the doubters to start taking notice again!"

18 min: "Thomas Müller is a true Bavarian too," says Sicco van der Laan. Apologies. Kroos keeps coming back to link up with his defence, which I thought was Lahm's role tonight but in fact the captain is playing much further forward some of the time. Now Andy Hodgson raises the stakes: "Thomas Muller and two subs (Contento and Gotze) also born in Bavaria .I hope it doesn't reduce Ian's admiration for Lahm." It won't.

15 min: The perils of listening to Andy Townsend strikes. Torres didn't shin it at all. It flew in off his right instep. Bayren are tiki takaing it about in triangles, making yards until Robben gets free on the left by the byline and he centres past Cech but David Luiz clears.

13 min: Torres plays a fine reverse pass down the left wing to Oscar who finds Lampard. the ball is switched over to the right to Schurrle whose pass is blocked and Chelsea win the corner which Lampard floats into Neuer;s hands.

11 min: Torres's goal was all the better because it appears he shinned it. Muller's playing very well, just dropping off and trying to drag David Luiz out to follow him but so far the defender has been very disciplined.

9 min: Bayern went straight up the middle from the kick off and Lahm wasted a chance to equalise with a loopy snap shot. "Calling Bayern Munich 'the Bavarians' as Clive Tyldesley did, makes me wish there was at least one Bavarian other than Lahm in the first team, just to make that description less redundant," says Ian Copestake. "Makes me like Lahm even more though."

GOAL!! Bayern 0-1 Chelsea (Torres)

Now that's a wonderful goal. Brilliant run left to right from Hazard, he laid it off to Schurrle wide on the right who cut it back by the spot to Torres who spanked it in with a powerful finish.

Updated

6 min: Alaba who has a classy touch is well marshalled by Schürrle who forces him backwards. There's no doubt both sides are taking it very seriously. There is an edge, says Clive Tyldesley. Ribery shanks a shot after a devastatingly quick break that Robben set up with a fine pass to Muller who laid it off in the box, just inside it and slightly to the left of centre but the Frenchman bobbled it across goal.

4 min: Bayern have played two make that three 40-metre passes already, a raking, diagonal one from Rafinha the pick of them.

2 min: Boateng robs Hazard 40 yards from goal on the right and crosses to the far post where Mandzukic is unmarked but the angle on the cross means he can't get power or direction on it and he nods it tamely across goal and out of play.

1 min: Bayern begin up the left but Ribery is forced backwards, passes to Boateng who moves it through the middle but Chelsea snuff it out.

Shall we have a sweep on Clive T's pronunciation of Schürrle? I'm hoping for Sherl, as in girlfriend of Big Vern.

"My interest in this match," Ian Copestake responds, "is to see if Jose M is indeed capable of making a team of amazingly talented (expensive) individuals perform like a wagon load of offal on its way back from the processing plant (am having problems erasing the Chelsea - Man Utd game from my tender mind)." Roy Hodgson thinks you're a philistine, Ian.

"I live just up the hill from the Grimaldi Forum in Monaco where they held the Champions League draw last night," writes Ken BatesMick Cathcart. "I usually go swimming the other side of there and last night saw little Mickey Owen and Luis Figo shambling down the blue carpet after they’d finished picking their balls as I came back. Tonight, they were just starting to dismantle things and, as I passed the glitzy Uefa entrance in the shape of goalposts, I noticed it was weighted down on each side with piles of rusty industrial-style cast-iron weights. Seeing something written on them all, I looked more closely and discovered that each weight had the initials Uefa cast into them. Who’d have thought it? I always knew there was lots of deadweight in Uefa … but … (insert your own punchline here)."

Thank goodness someone's taking this properly. "I think Bayern take this purely on strength of the team and not any coach influence," says Isuma Mark. "Whatever transpired between the two young coaches in Spain will have no bearing on this game. Mourinho's mind game is ineffective." 

And Ian Copestake isn't. "For a really tasty bet, stake a kidney pie," he quips. You've let me down Copestake, you've let the whole school down Copestake but most of all you've let yourself down.

And public service announcement from Lucas Costa: "Canal 4 (TVI) is showing the game in Portugal. One of four open channels in the country, he didn't search much …" Open journalism Lucas. Look it up on the net? Turn on the box? No, ask the Guardian. We're here to help.

"Which channel in Portugal is showing the match?" says Babak Hakimian. "Please help a football fan in a foreign land." Er … well … Chris Waddle? Any helpers?

Don't forget to bet on the match. You'll enjoy it more. Stake a kidney, go on.

ITV in that there Prague have a new studio pundit. 'Tis Gustavo Poyet who is referring to Chelsea as "we". Sweet.

Your teams

Bayern Munich: Neuer, Rafinha, Boateng, Dante, Alaba, Lahm, Robben, Muller, Kroos, Ribery, Mandzukic.
Subs: Starke, Van Buyten, Javi Martinez, Shaqiri, Pizarro, Gotze, Contento.

Chelsea: Cech, Ivanovic, Cahill, Luiz, Cole, Ramires, Lampard, Schurrle, Oscar, Hazard, Torres.
Subs: Schwarzer, Essien, Mata, Mikel, Lukaku, Terry, Azpilicueta.
Referee: Jonas Eriksson (Sigtuna)

Well, this is rather embarrassing. You see I wasn't supposed to be MBMing this match at all, was told much to my surprise late on this afternoon while I still had other stuff to finish, greeted said assignment with a barrage of expletives, barked my shin while kicking the desk and consequently have had little time to prepare for this clash of the Iberian demigods, charcoal suit v slate suit, interpreter v ball boy, silver crown v shiny pate blah di blah. So which of these two titans can put down a marker for Big Cup by picking up the first European trophy of the season, which one can, in the words of one of my esteemed colleagues, "plunder early silverware", follow in the footsteps of 1988 vintage magnificent Mechelen or 2012 Atlético? Frankly I don't know, that's why I've left you with a proper preview below.

Onwards … to the teams.

Updated

Rob will be here from 7pm.

Super Cup gives Chelsea chance to signal their intent

Once he had steered the conversation away from all things Pep, Real and Barça, José Mourinho showed a certain enthusiasm for the Uefa Super Cup. Friday's showpiece at the Eden stadium in Prague, he stressed, was "an opportunity", though the silverware on offer was not the priority. "After the Europa League last year, this is important for us," said the Chelsea manager. "The Champions League is a different planet. I don't want my players to feel that, just because they did well in the Europa League, they'll do well in this competition too."

Mourinho is acting as educator these days, his frequent reminders this is a young squad – certainly when compared to Bayern Munich's seasoned champions – serving to underline the long-term nature of the project he has assumed at Stamford Bridge second time round. That many of this team were at the club when Roberto Di Matteo's side oversaw victory in the elite competition at the Allianz Arena in 2012 hardly matters. This is about readjusting after last season's success in the lesser competition: a wake-up call before the confrontations with Schalke, Basel and Steaua Bucharest to come, even if the last two of their Champions League group opponents were actually beaten en route to the lesser trophy last season.

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