Splendid entertainment that put the Real-United borefest to shame. The second leg will be well worth watching. "Have to agree with the Hummels assessment," trills Gareth Hammond. "He's having a right nightmare which is only partially redeemed with the goal. It all started going wrong about here. What is he doing?"
Petering out. "If a journalist writes an MBM but there is nobody there to hear it, does the journalist make a noise?" mewls Robin Hazlehurst. Yes: a wistful sigh.
Dortmund change: Reus off, Schieber on.
Dortmund are going for a third, perhaps aware that their previous attempt to temper their attacking vim backfired.
GOAL! Skakhtar 2-2 Dortmund (Hummels 85)
GIving away that corner proved costly. It was an exquisite outswinger by Schmelzer and the unmarked Hummels, who has struggled tonight, redeems himself by heading powerfully into the net! How they would love action like this at the Bernabeu, where, apparently, Real and United fans are joining forces to clamour for a refund.
Piszczek meets the corner and his header forces Chrgrinsky to head over for another one.
Fine move down the right by Dortmund, featuring canny touches by Piscczek and Gotze. It ends with a corner.
Skakhtar sub: Eduardo on, Teixeira on.
Dormund change: Leitner on, Blaszczykowksi off. One of the MBMers there.
Shakhtar freekick, about 27 yards out ... and 27 yards over the bar by Chygrinskiy.
After valiant last-ditch defending at the home end, Shakhtar drive forward and Mkhitaryan skins Hummels before laying the ball on a plate in front of goal. But there was no one there! Dortmund survive.
What a miss! After a deliberate build-up down the right, Gotze prodded a lovely ball into Lewandowski, who took one touch to control it and then smashed into the ne .... no! He's pulled it wide! Perhaps he was distracted by the sounds of 80,000 people snoring all the way over in the Bernabeu?
GOAL! Shakhtar 2-1 Dortmund (Costa 67)
Such an elementary goal! Dortmund's defenders should get Klopp's slipper tonight. A humdrum long ball from the back was allowed to bounce in between the two centrehalves and Costa took with one touch and then smashed it superbly into the net from 12. Guess the manager knew what he was doing with that substitution. But the people who rate Hummels as the best centreback in Europe do not appear to know what they're talking about if that is anything to go by. "So, Paul, how exactly we're the MBMs apportioned?" wonders Matt Dony. "A high-stakes game of rock, paper, scissors? Or a diktat handed down from the editor-in-chief?" Just a standard 500-metre unicycle race, which Smyth thanks to wily deployment of an oil slick.
Costa makes a promising impact, jinking between two players before playing a cute pass to Luiz Adriano ... who loses the ball.
Strange substitution: Taison, who has been excellent, is coming off, to be replaced by Douglas Costa.
After prolonged possession by Dortmund, Hummels sends a hospital pass to Santana, resulting in Shakhtar regaining the ball. The Germans' attacking instincts seem to have been slightly diluted over the last few minutes, as it they are starting to think that the score would be just fine as is.
Weak 10-yard shot by Lewandowski, simple save for Pyatov.
Luiz Adriano ghosts past Hummels and then cuts the ball back for Mkhitaryan, whose shot from 16 yards is well blocked by Santana.
Teixeira leads a pro0mising Shakhtar break, then offloads to Taison, who rollicks down the right again ... then turns back and recycles the ball. Shakhtar exerting decent pressure over the last few minutes but as soon as Dortmund get it, they rip forward. All of which is making for the sort of spectacle that folks in Madrid must wish they were witnessing.
Nice flowing move by Gotze, Reus and Lewandowski, at the end of which Reus' shot is blocked.
The main event resumes. Meanwhile, word from the Bernabeu is that after an emergency meeting Uefa has decided to go ahead with the second half despite the first being stupefyingly dull.
It's been a very enjoyable first period, featuring two teams intent on attacking. Can't imagine the proceedings at the Bernabeu have anything on this.
What a let off for Dortmund following a good break by Shakhtar and more shoddy goalkeeping by Weidenfeller. Taison darted into the box and then stabbed the ball in the general direction of the goal. Weidenfeller made a UN operation of it and the ball spilled to Mkhitaryan, whose shot from an acute angle was blocked by recovering defenders.
GOAL! Shakhtar 1-1 Dortmund (Lewandowski 42)
They deserve that on the balance of play but there was huge amount of luck about that goal, as Lewandowski initially swiped at fresh air as he tried to connect with Gotze's cross from the right. That turned out to be a fortunate decoy, as two Shakhtar defenders hurled themselves at the shot that never was, leaving Lewandowski to gather his composure and lash the ball into the net from seven yards!
Dortmund try to reverse the tables again, but Blazczykowski skews another 20-yard shot miles wide.
Buoyed by their goal, Shakhtar are now feverishly pressing Dortmund very high up on the pitch, causing plenty of panic among the visitors. They're turned the tables well here.
Piszczek motors forward to meet a long crossfield ball, which he nods back into the path of Blaszykowski. The Pole squats to trap it and then hits the ball on the half-volley at goal from 20 yards. Save by Pyatov.
The impressive Taison hurtles past two defenders down the left and then supplies a vicious cross. Luiz Adriano narrowly fails to connect and it cannons off Piszczek and behind for a corner. That could easily have been an own goal.
GOAL! Shakhtar 1-0 Dortmund (31)
What a freekick! Santana should not have conceded it but it was still some 25 yards out, slightly to the left. Srna curled it over the wall and into the middle of the goal: Weidenfeller seemed to have his mind elsewhere. Presumably he too was wondering what's happening at the Bernabeu?
Santana heads a cross from the left to the edge of the area, where Fernandinho collects it before booming a reasonable effort over the bar. Nothing is happening in the Bernabeu , by the way. It's still 0-0 there and fans are streaming out of the ground complaining of unprecedented tedium. Donetsk is the only place to be tonight.
Shakhtar are growing into the game but have not yet shown the zip that Dortmund have. Still, Mkhitaryan has just gone fairly close with a shot from 20 yards.
After Shakhtar exert a little pressure, a cross from the right is hoisted high into the box. Fernandinho does well to meet it but his header is wayward.
Gotze flutters down the right and t hen tries to backheel the ball through to Lewandowski, which was a touch too extravagant. Rather than mock, Chygrinskiy intercepts. Workman-like.
Dortmund just keeping coming: few teams have given Shakhtar such a seeing-to on their home patch. They're tearing through them with pace, precision and imagination and a breakthrough seems imminent.
Crossbar! Hummels didn't even have to jump to meet a corner eight yards out and he nutted a powerful header against the bar!
Santana misjudges a pass forward, allowing the ball to bounce past him and into the path of Luiz Adriano, who cuts into the box. But Santana recovers to prevent the forward from getting off a shot or cross. Meanwhile, I wanted to let you know that, unexpectedly, I have received several emails in response to Ryan Dunne's invitation to banter, but none have been published because they are plod. So you see, beggars can be choosers.
After a run up that would have knackered Mo Farah, Reus wafts a feeble 30-yard freekick into the keeper's arms.
Attackus interruptus again for Shakhtar owing to yet another offside. Both sides are moving forward with good intent but only Dortmund have come to terms with the offside law, much to the home fans' irritation.
Gotze clips a cross in from the left. Lewandowski leaps but can't guide his header on target.
Cracking interplay at pace by Dortmund concludes with Blaszczykowski skittering into the box ... and dragging a shot miles wide from the right-hand side.
Dortmund are giving as good as they're getting at the moment and should have been given a corner just now after Reus had the ball poked off his foot after he burst into the box. Howard Webb incorrectly awarded a goal kick. The atmosphere in the Donbass Arena sounds magnificent, by the way: does anyone else agree that throbbing crowds always sounds more intimidating in Eastern Europe than in the west of the continent?
Both sides are flaunting their attacking instincts, which is making for an exhilarating, high-tempo opening. Goal-scoring chances must surely be just moments away.
It's a vibrant start by the home side here, with Mkhitaryan and Rakitskiy combining nicely down the right before the full-back's cross is misdirected.
We have kick-off. Shakhtar are clad in their Dundee United tribute kit and Dortmund are wearing their change strip of bee costumes. "I'm still following your MBM even if nobody else is!" brags Ryan Dunne. "Gimme me a shout if you want some banter." Bring it on.
The teams take to the pitch and first observe a minute's silence for the victims of a plane crash earlier today. It was a flight from Odessa to Donetesk and reportedly carried many people who were hoping to attend this game. "I'm still following your MBM even if nobody else is!" brags Ryan Dunne. "Gimme me a shout if you want some banter." Bring it on.
There was a really good concert in hip subterranean tavern in the village of White Lake, New York, on 16 August 1969. The band put on the most cosmic show of their lives, potentially blowing minds with stellar riffs, groovy beats and mesmeric choruses. They could have changed the history of music as we know it. Unfortunately, on the same night, just a few miles away, Woodstock was in full swing and nobody paid any attention to the White Lake strummers. No record even remains of their gig nor even of the band's name. so let's just call them The Shakhtar v Dortmunds. You dig?
Here are tonight's teams:
Shakhtar Donetsk: Pyatov, Srna, Rakitskiy, Chygrynskiy, Rat,
Fernandinho, Hubschman, Alex Teixeira, Mkhitaryan, Taison,
Subs: Kanibolotskiy, Stepanenko, Eduardo, Shevchuk, Devic, Douglas Costa, Ischenko.
Sadly missing due to ill-timed transfer: Willian
Borussia Dortmund: Weidenfeller, Piszczek, Felipe Santana,
Hummels, Schmelzer, Kehl, Bender, Blaszczykowski, Gotze, Reus,
Subs: Langerak, Subotic, Leitner, Sahin, Schieber, Bittencourt, Halstenberg.
Centre of attention: Howard Webb (England)