And that's it for me for today then. Thanks for joining me. I'll be back for Newcastle United v Arsenal tomorrow. Have a good Saturday night and behave yourselves!
We've still got Cardiff v Sunderland to come and I've just seen a pic of Vincent Tan in his sunglasses and tucked in replica shirt. What does he look like? What has he done to Cardiff?
Hull move into the top half of the table with that extraordinary 6-0 win over Fulham.
That was Manchester City's first 1-0 win of the season (I am being told). Just shows how well Palace played.
United are seven points off the top now that City have won. Two points behind Liverpool in fourth.
Full-time: Manchester City 1-0 Crystal Palace
And there goes the final whistle at the Etihad as well.
Full-time: Norwich 0-1 Manchester United
United are just five points off the lead after this win. It wasn't pretty at times but probably deserved in the end.
At the Etihad Dzeko comes close to scoring a second but his header ends up on the roof of the Palace goal.
Full-time: Aston Villa 1-1 Swansea City
A result that does not help either team much. Swansea the better team.
Full-time: Hull 6-0 Fulham
That was a disastrous performance by Fulham.
Well, I say Norwich are pushing for an equaliser. They can't get out of their own half at the moment. Nathan Redmond has just been booked.
Norwich are pressing for an equaliser and what does Hughton do? He throws on Johan Elmander on for the last minute … United legs must be shaking.
Bad day for Kidderminster as well. They are 5-0 down at Luton.
Did I really predict that Hull v Fulham would finish goalless? I clearly underestimated how bad Fulham are …
David Moyes makes a change: Darren Fletcher on for the Little Pea. 87 minutes played.
Leading by example? Barnet's player manager Edgar Davids sent off for a third time this season!
Goal! Hull 6-0 Fulham (Koren, 84)
Another goal for Koren, another one for Hull. It is just getting worse and worse.
Eight minutes plus stoppage time left to play at Carrow Road and Norwich are not creating any chances at the moment. United look comfortable.
Palace have also made a change. Jonathan Williams has come on for Yannick Bolasie. City much more in control at the moment though.
Pellegrini has also made a change but it is not Touré coming on. It is Kolarov for Milner. That says you something about how well Palace are doing.
Villa are still hanging on at home against Swansea. It is still 1-1 and Lambert has just sent on Albrighton for Weimann.
Simon McMahon makes this observation: "Afternoon Marcus. Sounds like Fulham have collapsed faster than the England cricket team. If that's possible."
Goal! Hull 5-0 Fulham (Fryatt, 73)
Ouch. This is getting embarrassing for Fulham and Meulensteen. 5-0 now. Matty Fryatt scored the fifth after Huddlestone hits the bar with a long-range free-kick.
It is a good finish by the Bosnian, having been set up by Navas. At the other end Joel Ward has two great chances. The first one is saved by Hart but the second one - oh dear me - is a clear header at the far post. He should have scored.
Goal! Manchester City 1-0 Crystal palace (Dzeko, 66)
How predictable. City are in front.
City can clear the corner and Pellegrini is preparing another change: Yaya Touré is coming on.
Joe Hart is keeping City in the game here. Remarkable effort by the visitors here. And they have another corner now.
Goal! Hull 4-0 Fulham (Huddlestone, 66)
And Huddlestone has scored. Are they cutting his hair on the pitch? Indeed they are …
City becoming a bit frustrated here. Still 0-0 at home against Palace. Silva loses one of his boots as he races into the penalty area after a hefty challenge and the move comes to nothing (well, it actually came to a corner but that came to nothing).
Goal! Hull 3-0 Fulham (Boyd, 63)
Bring back Martin Jol!
United suddenly dominated the game at Carrow Road, keeping the ball much better than in the first half. Chris Hughton looks a worried man - and rightly so.
Finally we've got some goals. Welbeck's was really well taken as he pounced on a mistake by the Norwich defence to race clear and take the ball round Ruddy to score. But still no goal at City …
Goal! Hull 2-0 Fulham (Koren, 60)
And Fulham are really in trouble now.
Goal! Norwich 0-1 Manchester United (Welbeck, 57)
Welbeck's fourth in four league games!
Manuel Pellegrini has had enough. Nasri and Negredo getting ready to come on.
What a chance for Palace! First Jason Puncheon tests Joe Hart with a low drive from 25 yards out and then Marouane Chamakh misses from the corner. Palace should be in front!
There are a lot of unhappy Aston Villa fans out there at the moment. Alex Simpson is one of them: "Marcus, shots: 3 - 10 (Swansea) 1 - 2 (on target) corners 1 - 5 (Swansea), oh, we won at fouls.... 4 - 3 #PATHETIC
At Carrow Road, Nathan Redmond flashes a shot wide from the left. And, yes, Welbeck replaced Giggs.
Goal! Hull 1-0 Fulham (Elmohamady, 50)
Hull deservedly take the lead, just after Sagbo and Koren had missed good chances.
And, would you believe it, Welbeck is on for United. I think it is for Giggs.
Joe McGrath emails with his thoughts on David Moyes' team selection: It feels like Moyes has got the team for this match completely wrong. We look like we're spread too thin - Giggs isn't doing well on the wing, Carrick isn't fit enough to do well defensively, Cleverley isn't finding any space, and Kagawa doesn't have enough support to influence the game. Evra is completely exposed at left back, since none of the three (Kagawa, Young and Giggs) who have played in front of him so far have been covering defensively. However, looking at that bench, there doesn't seem much he could do to improve it. Januzaj/Zaha on for Giggs would make us more potent going forward, but wouldn't much improve the glaring defensive weakness on the left. Maybe a 433 would be better - particularly with Cleverley on the left of the three to give Evra some more energetic cover - but it's not much better than the current situation. It's times like these that the paucity of options available is clear. If only Fergie hadn't let Pogba go...
Patrick Sullivan sends the kind of self-deprecating email we like here at the Guardian. he writes: "I like it [the bolding up]. We Yankees aren't too smart so its good you point out the important stuff."
Tim Travers emails. He's unimpressed with the PL this season (he clearly didn't watch West Ham v West Brom earlier today). He writes: "Hello, it may be that the boxing day sales have sapped my supply of goodwill & seasonal cheer but, aside from a few noteable games, there seem to be a lot of tedious affairs in the Premier League this season."
Half-time: Aston Villa 1-1 Swansea City
There were, at least, some goals in the first 45 minutes. Agbonlahor for Villa and Lamah for Swansea.
Half-time: Manchester City 0-0 Crystal Palace
City have dominated, as expected, but Julián Speroni have not made as many saves as one would have expected at the start of the day.
What a finish to the first half at the Etihad. First Bolasie had a really good chance for Palace but failed to connect with the corner. Then City had three good chances to take the lead but Speroni and Gabbidon blocked the City efforts.
Half-time: Norwich 0-0 Manchester United
It has been an entertaining first half at Carrow Road. United started the better but Norwich had the best chances.
Half-time: Hull 0-0 Fulham
It's goalless after 45 minutes between Hull and Fulham.
At the Etihad Fernandinho (or Ronaldinho as Paul Merson likes to call him) produces a wonderful piece of skill before vollying just high of the bar.
Evans has actually gone off for some more treatment. Here's United bench (not that many options to replace Evans but Carrick can drop into defence of course): Anderson, Lindegaard, Welbeck, Fabio Da Silva, Fletcher, Zaha, Januzaj.
Jonny Evans has suffered a neck injury but should be able to continue.
Is this right? Someone saying that Aston Villa have only had 25% of possession so far. Not that possession is everything but it still says something about who is dominating.
David Silva has yet another chance for City but the angle was so ludicrous that it was impossible to score. Why did he shoot from there?
My Guardian colleague Chris Taylor emails to either mock me or praise me. Not sure which: "Hi Marcus, loving the selective bolding. Your own invention?"
It is the Belgian's first PL goal for Swansea.
Goal! Aston Villa1-1 Swansea (Lamah, 36)
This goal had been coming. Swansea are level and deservedly so.
Hart playing on but Jerome has had to go off. Marouane Chamakh is on for Palace. Still 0-0 at the Etihad.
Fulham still struggling against Hull. Good run by Figueroa end with the ball at Sagbo's feet but he curls his shot just wide of Stockdale's far post.
Hart appears to have suffered a cut underneath his left eye while Jerome is down with a knee injury.
Joe Hart and Cameron Jerome down injured at the Etihad at the moment. I think both will be able to continue though. Palace have actually moved up the pitch a bit in the last 10 minutes.
Elliot emails with a very good point (and anyone including Green Day in his or hers email is likely to get a mention): "Afternoon Marcus, It amuses me as a fan how little the Villa team news matters. They could play any of their entire 14 man squad in any combination, or just go Green Day and pull a band from the crowd without any discernible wavering in potential "entertainment" or "quality"."
United still under pressure at Norwich. David Moyes' side clear two corners but Norwich now have a free-kick in a dangerous position. Giggs with a rash challenge. Giggs unimpressed with referee's decision. Giggs booked.
Ewan Atkinson emails and he is not pleased with Manuel Pellegrini's selection: "For me, this is not the time to put regular match-winners on the bench. What is Pellegrini doing?
On the day I have The Beast as Captain and Yaya working Vice in my FPL team - a cup-tie to boot - taking them out of the line could be a strategic miscalculation with much worse consequences than in the real Premier League, which we were going to win come what may (What May? May 2014) anyway. I've had it. Bah. What a swiz. Banjaxed by my own manager."
Shots on target at Carrow Road so far: Norwich 2 United 0.
David de Gea saves United! Snodgrass again, this time with a close-range shot straight at the Spaniard. Norwich deserves to be in front at the moment.
Fulham really struggling at Hull at the moment.
Robert Snodgrass is heavily involved at the moment at Carrow Road. First he takes a free-kick, which United clear, and then he shoots wildly high as the ball comes back out to him. Norwich playing well at the moment.
Birthday boy Tom Huddlestone has hit the post!
Having just said that United won't drop any points against Norwich, Wes Hoolahan comes close to giving the home team the lead. He really should have done better there.
Nathan Brown seems a bit nervous about Manchester City not scoring so far. He's asked who's on the City bench and here are the names: Lescott, Nasri, Negredo, Kolarov, Rodwell, Pantilimon, Toure.
Ben Kippin emails: "Hi Marcus, I have a funny feeling about Man U coming to Carrow Road today. We like playing them at home. Care to comment?"
Yes, I wouldn't mind commenting on that. That is why I am here. Can't see United losing any points despite Rooney's absence. They're on a roll now.
David Silva comes close to giving City the lead but his low shot is just wide. Tony Pulis lifts his cap up and scratches his forehead. It could be a long afternoon.
I'd be very interested to see the stats from the Etihad so far, particularly when it comes to possession. Not sure Crystal Palace have had the ball under control for more than five seconds at any stage. All City so far. It looks like a team defending to save their lives with five minutes remaining. Sadly for Palace there's 80 minutes to go.
Goal! Aston Villa 1-0 Swansea (Agbonlahor)
Told you so! Aston Villa have gone ahead against Swansea with Gabby Agbonlahor scoring after some great work by Andreas Weimann.
It has been all United at Carrow Road so far. Norwich have hardly had the ball at all. Kagawa was expected to play centrally but he has started more on the left with Giggs playing behind Hernández.
Rene Meulensteen said he wanted "fresh legs" and "fresh minds" from his Fulham players at Hull today and has made six changes. No major chances for either team so far.
We have kicked off at the Etihad and Carrow Road and Ryan Bennet has already clattered into Javier Hernández. That didn't take long.
West Ham v West Brom finished 3-3 and, apparently, involved a controversial goal celebration by Nicolas Anelka. I am not getting involved in that one (I've got four live games to follow) but I am sure Twitter will help you if you want to read more.
Hmm, maybe I should change that Hull v Fulham prediction …
Fifteen minutes to go to the matches kick off and here are my predictions:
Aston Villa v Swansea 2-1
Hull v Fulham 0-0
Manchester City v Crystal Palace 4-0
Norwich v Manchester United 0-2
Julian Craven emails: "Greetings from Berlin, Marcus. Currywurst is indeed served with ketchup - every place has it’s own recipe - and curry powder. More pressing is the question if you had your currywurst with skin or without?"
Well, with skin of course. Didn't know there was another option to be honest.
Man City v Crystal Palace team news
More on currywürst in a bit but I haven't given you the Crystal Palace line-up yet so here it is (they're at Fortress Etihad today): Speroni, Mariappa, Gabbidon, Delaney, Parr, Ward, Jedinak, Bannan, Puncheon, Bolasie, Jerome.
In other news, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has said that his comment about women's fotball and the bicycle gift with his autograph on it (it's a long story) was a joke and that it was not meant to cause any offence. Also, Milan's Stephan El Shaarawy will be out for up to 10 weeks after having foot surgery.
Good news for Manchester United fans …
Norwich City v Manchester United team news
Norwich may fancy their chances against United now that Rooney is not playing. Chris Hughton brings in Martin, R Bennett and Hoolahan. Here is the starting XI: Ruddy, Martin, Ryan Bennett, Bassong, Olsson, Johnson, Fer, Snodgrass, Hoolahan, Redmond, Hooper. Subs: Whittaker, van Wolfswinkel, Bunn, Elmander, Garrido, Becchio, Murphy.
And here are the teams for the Villa v Swansea game. I actually fancy Villa to win today. Aston Villa: Guzan, Lowton, Baker, Clark, Luna, Bacuna, Westwood, Delph, Weimann, Agbonlahor, Tonev. Subs: El Ahmadi, Helenius, Albrighton, Steer, Sylla, Bowery, Kozak.
Swansea: Tremmel, Tiendalli, Chico, Williams, Ben Davies, de Guzman, Canas, Hernandez, Shelvey, Lamah, Bony. Subs: Amat, Britton, Routledge, Rangel, Pozuelo, Vazquez, Zabret.
Not that Huddz has taken his mind off today's game mind …
Hull, meanwhile, have included birthday boy Tom Huddlestone in their starting XI against Fulham: McGregor, Chester, Davies, Rosenior, Figueroa, Huddlestone, Livermore, Elmohamady, Boyd, Koren, Sagbo
Christmas was good thank you James. I was in Germany visiting my sister and heard a lot of Scorpions on the radio and ate a lot of Currywürst (which doesn't contain any curry as far as I am concerned, I think it is just some curry powder with the ketchup but I am not 100% sure). Either way, here is the Fulham line-up (they are at Hull today): Stockdale; Zverotic, Hughes, Amorebieta, Riise; Dejagah, Sidwell, Karagounis, Kasami; Ruiz; Rodallega
Hello from Kentucky!
This cheery email has just arrived in my inbox. What a nice way to start a clockwatch, eh? James Tomas writes: "Good morning Mr. Christenson! Anxiously awaiting the Fulham lineup from Kentucky this morning Hope you had a marvelous Christmas and have heady NYE plans!"
Don't want to steer any readers away from this clockwatch but it is now 3-3 between West Ham and West Brom. Jacob Steinberg has the latest here.
Manchester City v Crystal Palace team news
Manuel Pellegrini has selected a strong team - as expected - as Manchester City aim to maintain their 100% record at home against Crystal Palace. Here is his starting XI: Hart, Boyata, Kompany, Nastasic, Clichy, Garcia, Fernandinho, Navas, Silva, Milner, Dzeko
Norwich v Manchester United: team news
Well, this is interesting. No Wayne Rooney and no Robin van Persie for United against Norwich.
Here is the team: De Gea, Smalling, Vidic, Evans, Evra, Young, Cleverley, Carrick, Giggs, Kagawa, Hernández.
What a big afternoon for Kagawa and Hernández.
It appears that Wayne Rooney has not travelled with the rest of the United squad to face Norwich but that is not yet confirmed.
For those of you who want to follow West v West Bromwich live with Jacob Steinberg you can do that here. West Ham have just equalised. BIG SAM MUST STAY!
Here are today's Premier League 3pm games and I'll give you the latest team news shortly.
Aston Villa v Swansea
Hull v Fulham
Manchester City v Crystal Palace
Norwich v Manchester United
Good afternoon and welcome to today's clockwatch. Only four 3pm kick-offs in the Premier League this afternoon but this will in no way dampen my (or yours, hopefully) enthusiasm.