Men against boys - literally, as Jamie Redknapp would say. West Ham were and are dismal and Nottingham Forest were ruthless and professional, mercilessly punishing their inexperience. Forest are deservedly into the fourth round. Manchester City away next for West Ham. Thanks for reading. Bye.

Full-time: Nottingham Forest 5-0 West Ham

Oh dear.

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90 min+3: Cox has a chance to make it six, but does not, Potts denying him.

GOAL! Nottingham 5-0 West Ham (Reid, 90 min+1)

Sam Allardyce reaches for the bottle of brandy and a revolver. Forest broke at speed, Abdoun released down the left. He was clean through on goal but instead of shooting, he taunted West Ham by cutting back inside and teeing up Andy Reid who had sprinted - yes, sprinted! - to keep up with play and he blasted the ball into the top corner with his left foot. Poor Adrian. West Ham are a rabble.

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90 min+1: Told you.

90 min: Jarvis's shot from the edge of the area is deflected by Jara and lands on the top of the net. West Ham have a corner from which they will not score. 

89 min: Reid shoots from 40 yards. No.

87 min: Moussi plays a fine reverse pass through to Cox, who hammers a low shot that Adrian does extremely well to hold - "more luck than judgement," drivels Clarke Carlisle, who must be stopped as a matter of extreme urgency. Derbyshire is then booked for pulling Adrian back as he tried to throw the ball out.

84 min: Lansbury shoots wide from 20 yards. "I think the problem with Downing is that he has the raw talent of a top-four club squad player, but the mentality and confidence of a mid-table player," says Matt Dony. "In one of his first (maybe even his first) league games for Liverpool, he rattled the crossbar with a rocket of a shot. I've always wondered, had that gone in, would it have given him the self-belief to make more of a success of his time there?" No.

83 min: Jamie Paterson - who had never scored for Forest before this afternoon - is given a standing ovation as he's replaced by Matt Derbyshire.

82 min: Simon Cox almost makes it five but then remembers that would ruin the 1991 narrative and so nuts his header over from Reid's cross. (He should have scored.)

81 min: Paterson won Forest's penalty and has scored a hat-trick. Not a bad day's work. You can't really blame West Ham's youngsters but the senior players have been abysmal. Adrian is the only one to escape any blame.

GOAL! Nottingham Forest 4-0 West Ham (Paterson, 79 min)

It's 1991 all over again! Jamie Paterson, the outstanding player on the pitch, has a hat-trick - one with his left foot and now two with his right. He picked up possession on the left and skedaddled across the edge of the area, West Ham's young defence completely unravelling. Paterson's finish was emphatic, smashed low into the bottom right corner, giving Adrian no chance.

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78 min: Morrison has been not good.

77 min: Adrian spares West Ham further humiliation. Abdoun crosses from the right and Cox's powerful header is beaten away by Adrian. "Since I'm a Fulham supporter, I'm used to losing to Orient in the FA cup," says Tony Campisi. "Paul Lambert is developing a taste for it (Bradford City and Sheffield). Hats off to West Ham today. They lost to a team only 6 places below them. Fair result."

75 min: Simon Cox on, Greg Halford on.

73 min: Turgott's piledriver from 25 yards out, heading for the top corner, is pushed over by Darlow. Splendid effort, splendider save.

GOAL! Nottingham Forest 3-0 West Ham (Paterson, 71 min)

Strike up the Fratellis! This is so easy for Forest. Lansbury, given the freedom of the city by West Ham, has absolutely no defender near him as he rolls a pass through to Paterson, who stabbed a low shot underneath Adrian from close range. No chance of a replay for West Ham now - Allardyce will be delighted. A few West Ham fans are heading for the pub and a little boy is crying in the stands. Happy now, Sam?

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69 min: Jarvis, one of the great West Ham captains, wriggles inside from the left flank but his shot is blocked.

68 min: West Ham go to Manchester City on Wednesday. And they should be 3-0 down here. Abdoun embarrasses Driver on the left and cuts the ball back to Paterson, who shanks over from eight yards out. That should have been his second and Forest's third.

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GOAL! Nottingham Forest 2-0 West Ham (Paterson, 65 min)

Game over and it's what Forest, Paterson and West Ham all deserve for their respective performances. Greg Halford took advantage of the inexperience in the West Ham defence, bullying young Reece Burke as they tussled for a long, high ball. He couldn't control it but it ran to Paterson, who drilled a low-left footer into the far corner from 15 yards out. Adrian got a hand to the shot but it wasn't enough.

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64 min: Lansbury fancies a goal against his former club. He runs on to a pass from Paterson and blooters his effort over from the edge of the area. That scare survived, West Ham make their final change, Blair Turgott on for Downing, who gives the armband to Matt Jarvis. It's come to this. Downing walks straight down the tunnel.

61 min: Forest waste another good chance, Lansbury heading Reid's free-kick over from close range. The flag was up for offside but Lansbury was on.

59 min: From the free-kick, Downing's delivery is headed out as far as Lletget, who chests the ball down and shoots low towards the right corner. Darlow parries it aside. The ball eventually comes back to Downing on the right and he hangs it up to the far post, where Potts attacks the cross. He can't rise high enough and it's headed behind for a corner on the left. Suddenly West Ham are in this. From the next corner, it's taken short and Morrison diddles his way past one defender on the byline before shooting from a tight angle. Darlow pushes it behind.

58 min: Forest respond by bringing on Dan Harding for Eric Lee-High. Harding is immediately involved, clambering over Morrison and conceding a free-kick on the right,

55 min: West Ham make two changes, Matthias Fanimo replacing George Moncur and Reece Burke replaces Alou Diarra. "To the point, having summarized Andy Reid's unfulfilled career, what's your thoughts on the owner of the other "cultured left foot" (trademarked where appropriate) on display today?" says Paul Keane. "Has Downing similarly wasted potential, or is it more of a case of "never had it"? Or is the jury still out on him?" Mid-table Premier League player, no more, no less.

53 min: Morrison twinkle-toes in from the right and finds Lletget. His touch is poor but the ball runs to Whitehead, whose shot is deflected over for a corner. Hobbs heads clear.

51 min: A dreadful cross-field pass from Abdoun gifts possession to Downing, who romps up field in the way that only Stewart Downing can. With Jara out of position having joined the Forest attack, Downing has space to run into but he doesn't back himself to beat Lascelles for pace and shoots early, his effort deflected over by the defender. The corner comes to nothing.

50 min: In space on the right of the area, Paterson twists and turns before trying to guide one into the far corner with his left foot. Driver blocks. West Ham, who have seven kids on the bench, are going to make some changes.

49 min: Forest are playing some very pleasing football. West Ham still aren't in it.

48 min: Manchester City will be terrified. Abdoun drives into the box, jinks on to his right foot and shoots straight at Adrian from the edge of the area.

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46 min: Here we go again. Neither side have made any changes and West Ham are still playing in their 3-5-2 formation, which didn't work at all in the first half.

"That was BAD WORD," says Tom Shaw. "If you didn't know any better you'd say Forest were the EPL side and West Ham were League 2. Still, only one in it and a chance for BFS to prove he hasn't lost the plot by re-organising that awful defence for the second half."

Half-time: Nottingham Forest 1-0 West Ham

That was magical.

45 min: A high cross to the far post leads to more chaos in the West Ham defence. Halford nods it down into the six-yard box where it's sliced up into the air by Driver but Halford can only head it wide when it drops.

45 min: Lletget is booked for pulling down Abdoun, who would have been away. 

43 min: Forest appeal for a penalty again. Reid poked the ball round Diarra and then claimed the French defender handled it, but contact with the ball appeared minimal.

42 min: Forest should lead by two goals. West Ham's defence goes to sleep and fails to spot a run in behind by Lichaj. Reid spots it though and Lichaj is through on goal, only to hammer his shot straight at Adrian, who saves with his legs. The rebound falls to Lansbury on the edge of the area and West Ham politely stand aside and allow him to rattle a shot just over. 

40 min: Morrison is doing some very nice things in pointless areas. 

38 min: Forest are in control of midfield and work West Ham over with a neat passing move, moving the ball out to the left for Abdoun. He crosses towards Halford, who darts in front of his man and directs a sharp low header towards the bottom-left corner. Adrian saves well.

37 min: "How shit must you be, it's only 1-0?" the West Ham fans enquire of their Forest counterparts. Nothing like faith in your team.

35 min: West Ham should be level. Moncur, looking to atone for giving away the penalty, intelligently slips Maiga through on goal but he dithers, taking too long to set himself and allowing Hobbs to hassle him into scuffing straight at Darlow. West Ham need a striker.

33 min: "To say they have the 13th highest paid manager in the world, West Ham aren't very good are they?" says Simon Jenkins.

32 min: Lascelles is granted too much time and room to line up a shot from 25 yards out and he duly accepts the invitation. His effort dips sharply in front of Adrian but the Spaniard holds on.

29 min: Forest appeal for a second penalty in farcical circumstances. Abdoun cut inside from the right and hit a low shot that was heading miles wide until it took a deflection and diverted off to the opposite side of the box - on co-commentary, Countdown's Clarke Carlisle described it as "a magnificent ball into the box", but. No West Ham player reacted as the ball trickled towards the far post and Halford stole into the six-yard box, looking to tap past Adrian, but fell under a challenge from Driver. At first glance, it looked like a nailed-on penalty and red card but it turns out it was an excellent tackle from the young defender.

28 min: "That 4-0 victory over West Ham presaged a ridiculous run of form including a 5-0 win away at Norwich and a 7-1 hammering of Chelsea, if memory serves," says Simon Frank. "To then lose the FA Cup final on that form was gut-wrenching." Enjoy.

25 min: Adrian has to scamper off his line to beat Lansbury to the ball after West Ham's makeshift defence, which is being made to look a bit ragged when Forest attack, was pierced by a pass from UNIDENTIFIED FOREST PLAYER.

24 min: Morrison's free-kick brings a good save out of Darlow. It was to the left of the D, made for a right-footed effort, and Morrison curled his effort up and over the ball but a little too centrally, allowing Darlow to tip over the bar smartly. I suspect he wouldn't have got there if it was a bit closer to the corner. From the resulting corner, Potts heads back across goal but Maiga, under pressure, can't do anything at the far post with his header.

23 min: A loose pass from Henri Lansbury, who spent a season on loan at West Ham two years ago, gifts possession to Morrison just outside Forest's area. In a bid to redeem himself, Lansbury slides in on Morrison but only compounds his error by bringing the West Ham midfielder down. West Ham have a free-kick in a dangerous position.

22 min: Moncur slides a pass inside Lichaj for Jarvis, who succeeds in tying himself up in knots and eventually falling over. There's a man who has completely lost any semblance of confidence.

19 min: The West Ham fans look bored. The camera just caught one of them yawning in the background. 

18 min: Andy Reid shouldn't really be playing at this level, should he. What a player he might have been if he'd taken better care of himself. 

15 min: Morrison chips a cute pass over Lichaj for Jarvis down the right but the Forest left-back recovers well and gets back to concede a corner. West Ham take it short and it's a waste of everyone's time, as short corners always are.

14 min: At least we now have confirmation that Moncur is a chip off the old block.

GOAL! Nottingham Forest 1-0 West Ham (Abdoun pen, 12 min)

Oh my, this is enjoyable. Abdoun steps up and Panenkas his penalty past Adrian. What nonchalance! The Forest fans celebrate by gooning about to the Fratellis.

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PENALTY TO FOREST!

12 min: Jamie Paterson turns past Moncur brilliantly and the young midfielder falls for the trick and clumsily trips him down. 

10 min: Captain Stew works a yard of space against Jara on the left and his dangerous cross is headed behind for West Ham's first corner. Jarvis's corner is easily claimed by Darlow.

8 min: George Moncur hasn't needlessly scythed anyone down yet. His dad, John, will be disappointed. He was once introduced as a substitute at half-time in a game against Middlesbrough and was booked less than a minute into the second half for cleaning out Paul Ince.

6 min: "I was at that semi final," says John Kemp. "I was a forest supporter but the west ham supporters were amazing. They didn't just cheer non-stop but they also bounced up and down in time for the whole of the second half so that the entire stand was vibrating in time with them. Going behind just made them shout louder and jump higher. Once west ham had a man sent off Nigel's passing just tore them apart. I think this was the game where Pearce scored a unique headed goal." 

It's one of those games that West Ham fans of a certain age go all misty-eyed about, even though it ended in a 4-0 defeat.

5 min: Andy Reid, with that lovely left of his, drifts a pass from left to right towards Abdoun. Diarra is there to cut it out but heads it straight to Abdoun, who swings a cross to the far post, where Driver makes a meal of his clearance, before clearing up the mess.

3 min: "You're just a small town in Millwall," chant the Forest fans. The banter is flowing. Tim Sherwood will be pleased.

2 min: You can hear every shout inside the ground. It is eerily quiet, though that's not too much of a surprise for such an early kick-off.

Peep! In a less than packed City Ground, we are off. West Ham, in white shirts and blue shorts, get the game underway and are kicking from right to left. Forest are in red shirts and white shorts. But you knew that already.

"We've seen Stewart Downing laughing there [in the tunnel], let's see if he's laughing after the game." Keane's on one.

"We've almost been brainwashed in the last 10 years that Sam Allardyce is years ahead in terms of sports science, so why so many injuries?" The words of Roy Keane.

"I'd always be worried if Stewart Downing's your captain." The words of Roy Keane.

Regarding the West Ham team, Leo Chambers, a young right-back, was supposed to start but seems to have suffered a late injury. There are only three defenders in the West Ham side - although there's a chance that Stewart Downing, their brave captain for the day, may start at left-back. Just call him Julian.

Previously in this fixture

West Ham were the visitors to the City Ground in the match that followed Brian Clough's death in September 2003. Forest won with a late stunner from Marlon King. I was annoyed.

A walk down memory lane...

Takes us to Villa Park, 1991 and an FA Cup semi-final between Forest and West Ham. West Ham, were in the old Second Division at the time and had Tony Gale sent off by Keith Hackett. Forest, managed by Brian Clough, won 4-0 but lost to Tottenham in the final. Roy Keane scored for them.

A (Danny) Potts and a (George) Moncur in the West Ham team. But sadly no Breacker, Dicks, Miklosko or Dowie.

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The teams

Nottingham Forest: Darlow; Jara, Lascelles, Hobbs, Lichaj; Moussi, Lansbury, Reid, Abdoun; Paterson, Halford. Subs: Evtimov, Harding, Mackie, Majewski, Miller, Derbyshire, Cox.

West Ham: Adrian; Driver, Diarra, Potts; Jarvis, Morrison, Lletget, Moncur, Downing; Maiga, Whitehead. Subs: Spiegel, Lee, Turgott, Fanimo, Maguire, Gordon, Burke.

Referee: Martin Atkinson.

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Preamble

Hello. In one corner, we've got Nottingham Forest, riding high in the Championship under the endlessly charming Billy Davies and in the other, we've got West Ham, 19th in the Premier League and about as confident as Mark Corrigan taking drugs at an illegal rave. With next week's league match at Cardiff a bigger priority for the Hammers, Sam Allardyce has said that he plans to play da yoof, before rather mournfully suggesting that will cause people to accuse him of disrespecting the most magical cup competition in the world. Poor Sam. He can't win. At all. A win for Forest would not go down as a shock.

Kick-off: 12pm.

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