Full time: Newcastle 0-0 Metalist. They deserved better and should be taking a two-goal lead at least to Ukraine. Metalist are clearly a good side and at time pinged it around in midfield and made some penetrative runs particularly down Newcastle's left but if you put the ball twice in the net from legitimate positions and the linesman can't see Cisse was level there is nothing you can do but feel aggrieved. Thanks for your emails. Good night.
90 min +1: Newcastle have kept going and almost got the lead they deserved when Cisse's diving header from Cabaye's lovely left-wing cross is straight at the keeper. He should have scored and would have had at least two if the linesmen had been competent.
89 min: Newcastle have played pretty well but it looks like they're going to end up with a draw. "From the 'Just Because You're Paranoid (etc. and so on)' Department," writes Scott Bassett. "That's two legit goals ruled out, all four yellows and the preponderance of fouls against Newcastle tonight." Aye the officials have been garbage.
87 min: Metalist corner headed out by Gutierrez but the ball comes back into the box to Willian who tries to turn Gutierrez and can't so throws himself on the floor and is booked for diving.
85 min: A dispatch comes from Pumpkin Head. No, really. Murray's lad. He/she says: "You'll doubtless be thrilled to learn that the coastal erosion performance featuring Atletico and Rubin Kazan is as bucolic as the match you're mbm-ing. The Atletico drummer is providing a soundtrack with a remarkable resemblance to passing HGVs. I'm plotting a wubstep remix to keep myself awake. I hasten to add that, despite Rubin's early goal, and the unbridled excitement of a soft sending off for their stonefaced assassin of a captain on the stroke of half-time, it's a snoozefest worthy of the EuroVase brand ideology. Falcao just hit the bar, but you get the feeling that he's saving his scoring prowess for the club afterwards." Thanks for that.
83 min: Santon is playing well, rolling a pass from the touchline behind Villagar for Ameobi to run on to but his cut back is badly executed and Torres, I think, clears. A minute later Ameobi goes down in the box under Gueye's pressure but he doesn't even bother to ask for a penalty though the crowd do.
80 min: It's Shola time. On for Tiote. I like Shola's heading. Sissoko is now playing in the hole behind Ameobi and Cisse and picks up a knockdown to shoot from 30 yards, low and hard and straight at the keeper. "I don't want to overreact but these officials shouldn't be allowed to oversee another game," writes Ben Monk "Ever. Not even under-10 s level." Nigel B is equally frustrated but more temperate: "In all seriousness, why has there been no discussion about offside technology. With a single camera over the pitch, these decisions can be rendered accurately in milliseconds. This leaves the 'linesman' to concentrate on infractions. It is physically impossible for the linesman to see all three components in the decision."
78 min: We;ve just seen a replay of Cisse's struck-off goal and he was level. "Yup, Ryan, I'm following the MBM on a smartphone, and the 'missus' (I can't really get away with saying that...) hasn't really noticed, because she's following 'Facebook' on her smarterphone. And she's in pyjamas. Oh yeah, it's a hot date..." Matt Dony on a home life very different from our own dear Queen's.
76 min: Another "goal" ruled offside. Fantastic cross from the right finished by Cisse and again the linesman said he was offside when he looked level. "After reading some of the grumpy emails on both MBM's this evening," writes the perceptive Joanne Beasley. "I suspect it's not only Newcastle and Mentalist that aren't going to score tonight."
74 min: Better from Newcastle now, making progres through Santon and Gutierrez and getting the ball forward quickly. Willian comes on for Marlos.
71 min: Having said that Santon opens a chance for Cisse with a fine forward thrust up the left, he squares to the No9 who makes arun from the penalty spot, his shot is blocked by the keeper and anyway Sissoko was offside.
69 min: One kind of gets the impression that Newcastle have been snookered here. They haven't quite had the ingenuity to unlock Metalist's defence and because they're so comfortable in possession they can force Newcastle to keep running and ultimately tire themselves.
66 min: On the theme of Hello Goodbye (after Sissoko makes a glorious shimmy inside to beat his man on the right then wastes his good work with a pass beyond Cisse) Raimond Skrupskis writes: "Is this another example of The Guardian's would-be hipster, anti-McCartney, pro-Lennon bias? I thought so." I'm no Philip Norman, Raimond. I think Macca sublime. Always found that song toe-curlingly twee though.
64 min: Calm, unruffled passing from Metalist, switching the ball from left to right and up and down the field stops only when Marveaux slides in to foul Sosa.
61 min: Those Metalist mentalists have let off a smoke bomb. Or it could be the natives. I can't tell which way the wind is blowing. Newcastle are making a sub, Marveaux for Obertan.
59 min: "Hmm," ponders Ryan Dunne who pops over occasionally from his date with Smyth. "Surely if MBM-regulars were out romancing they could still follow/email MBMs on their smartphones and hope that their date doesn't notice/object? That's what I'd do!" It's troupers like Ryan who are going to save the media industry. Thanks, Ryan.
57 min: Torres belts a shot over the bar (now there's something I've written once or twice this season) after the referee plays advantage despite Yanga-Mbiwa treading on Xavier's ankle in the build-up.
55 min: Excellent work from Santon up the left opens a shooting opportunity for Cisse who again doesn't make the best contact and is charged down, Metalist break and Tiote stops the attack by diving in with a lunge on Cristaldo but the referee, who has already booked him, doesn't even give it as a foul.
52 min: Yanga-Mbiwa decides to have a shot from distance and absolutely wellies it into orbit. Craig Smaaskjaer is on the old lysergic as George Harrison called it: "I liked the razzle dazzle of Rob Stewart's email, but near the end it slowly dawned on me that he'd said Warren Barton and not, as I had misread, Warren Beatty. Now, Warren Beatty out with Dyer and Kluivert! There's a story. 'Lads, did I ever tell you about the time …'
'Yes, Warren. Yes you did,' said Kluivert, before pouring a fresh vodka into his eyeballs."
50 min: Metalist corner that is spun towards the penalty spot where Fininho does a Patrice Evra, beating all the taller players to head over the bar.
48 min: Newcastle keep possession for a couple of minutes until the final ball forward from Obertan is cut out and Metalist break with Marlos and Villagra, Marlos failing to shoot when he had the opportunity and wimping out to lay it off instead.
46 min: "I don't say long ball, I say long pass" said Howard Wilkinson many moons ago but you can see what he means when Cabaye pings a magnificent 50-yard ball to the right of the penalty area to Cisse who can't beat the angle and smashes it over.
Hello Goodbye (the worst Beatles single of all because Free as a Bird doesn't count)
"The most interesting thing about this game is the realisation that I've misspelt Metalist in my fantasy team," writes Matt Dony. "I have an extra L that I must go and purge. Dammit."
Here's Rob Stewart: "As its not so very busy on the MBM tonight … I went to Newcastle Uni, met Warren Barton and few others, Alan Smith and while we are name dropping Kieron Dyer … I was drinking in a wine bar at one stage and saw PatricK Kluivert [snip] trying to park a hummer … that generation of footballers was always out on the town … Wonder if the 'French lot' are out on the Bigg Market these days?" Nah, Quayside then the boat. Best we-can't-think-of-a-chant-in-praise-of-you-because-we're-not-really-sure-about-you-and-prefer-Steve-Watson-anyway-chant ever: "Waren Barton, centre parting la la la la la".
Kat says: 'You're all watching Tottenham aren't you? Waiting for Question Time. Romancing.' Doing none of those. Getting myself ready for work and following your MBM in Sydney closely. Never look forward to the comms blackout on the Western line between Strathfield and Granville, that's always the bit where the opposition score." Not tonight, Kat. Not tonight.
45 min: The crowd has been whistling for five minutes as the energy began to peter out and the referee at last joins in.
44 min: Gutierrez gets the ball just inside the Metalist half and knocks it past Fininho by a good 25 yards then sprints to try to retrieve it. It was a comically cement-footer dribble. The keeper came out and beat him to it.
43 min: They're playing for half-time now. I'm praying for it.
41 min: Marlos has an exquisite touch, every time he gets the ball he kills it perfectly and judges the optimum weight of pass every time. He takes out Santon to play in Sosa on the right who hits a horribly tame cross shot past the far post.
39 min: Newcastle free-kick in the centre-circle, chipped forward to Taylor towering above the right back, he nods across the area, a Metalist defender clumps it out to Oberatn who shoots but the shot is towards the centre of goal so Cisse tries to divert it into the right corner but he hits the keeper's foot instead.
37 min: It's up the other end sharpish now, both sides breaking fast and no sooner has Metalist's shot been battered away Cisse gets past Fininho on the right and hits his cross straight at Torsiglieri.
35 min: Cleiton Xavier has a 25-yard shot on the break, hit low and hard and straight at Krul. Gutierrez goes up the right from Krul's swift kick, gets to the byline and cuts it back but it's hammered clear before Sissoko can get there.
33 min: Cabaye is booked for tapping Cristaldo aound the throat while they went up for a header or Cristaldo did while Cabaye sneakily got his revenge, payback for an earlier incident between the two when the Frenchman wore a hand as a nosegay.
32 min: Newcastle corner and at last Cabaye hits it beyond the near post to Coloccini who nods it down while backpedalling to Tanga-Mbiwa whose shot is blocked. When the ball comes back towards the Metalist goal with the defenders having hared out after the block, Cabaye's pass breaks the offside trap for Cisse to shoot straight at the goalkeeper instead of clipping it over his dive.
30 min: Fine save from Krul after Taylor fannied about to open up the space for a shot. I saw him playing for Carlisle four or so years ago. You could tell then he was going to be good.
28 min: You're all watching Tottenham aren't you? Waiting for Question Time. Romancing. Corpus Christi, Tiote has just hacked Marlos down, like a side-on shunt he went straight through him.
26 min: The flag again from the linesman on the far side penalises Obertan who was played through by Santon after a slaloming infield run. Again he was wrong.
24 min: Newcastle have just put the ball in the net, Cisse tapping home the square pass after breaking past the defence who were keeping a high line. The linesman reckoned Cisse was offside but he was at least 5ft on side. Poor dos.
22 min: Marlos, though, ignores my judgment and blows a hole up the right with somke deft control in a twisty run, finally tapping a pass through to Xavier and Sosa who go After You Claude and klutz it up.
20 min: Newcastle have improved over this past five minutes, as if they've suddenly realised that Sissoko and Obertan can beat the full-backs for pace if they're given the ball quickly enough so the midfield cover can't pitch in.
18 min: "Can't find a stream to watch this game on," writes Rob Stewart. "Or any game for that matter … appears as though Thailand doesn't do 'em …" Unless anyone knows different he's relying on me. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Obertan benefits from Newcastle upping the tempo and getting the ball forward quickly. He sprints ahead of Villagra and smacks his low shot a foot or so wide of Goryainov's right post.
16 min: Gutierrez wins a corner with a run up the right and again it is taken by Cabaye who plonks it straight on to the head of the near-post zonal guard at the edge of the six-yard line. Considering Metalist are the diddymen that's a huge waste.
14 min: Sissoko almost benefits from a link-up with Cisse, playing the ball to the centre-forward in the centre circle then bursting past Fininho to receive but Cissé had strayed offside.
12 min: Marcos pplays it back to the centre-half Gueye who switches it out to the left and then it is played infield where Edmar and Torres link up to free Villagra on the right but his near-post cross which looked dangerous was not anticipated by Sosa or Cristaldo and Krul got there first.
9 min: Marcos has a bit of a cavort, a maraud up the right and wins a corner, taken by Sosa but Coloccini clears to the right and Newcastle almost break past the last line of defence but Fininho halts their progress.
7 min: Obertan, who's playing on the left, cuts in and has a run at Villagra, slips in Cabaye who has made a clever run and wins a corner which the French No4 wastes by failing to clear the first defender on the edge of the six-yard box.
5 min: "Hawrite other Rob! Re: preambles. Surely the best option on slow/lazy nights would be to request readers to email in preambles? You could cobble together the best bits! Surely that's what Open Journalism is all about! Might end up a bit Rise of the Planet of the Apes though," writes Ryan Dune. That is precisely what open journalism is about, Ryan. From now on … Sissoko couldn't quite pick out Cisse through the middle but Cisse's pace still gave the keeper a fright as he raced out to clear.
3 min: The screens we have are cropped with the clock shorn off at the minute figure so the timings may be somewhat erratic. I've got my watch going. Newcastle so far have looked comfortable in possession and patient.
1 min: There are 500 Metalist fans in the 30,000 plus crowd, brought over at the club's expense. Cabaye picks up the ball in midfield and rolls it back to Taylor who looks for Yanga-Mbiwa to storm up the right - he keeps possession but makes little headway so Newcastle switch and go up the left.
Alan Pardew wants a winter break
Steve McManaman is wearing a foppish hankie in the top pocket of his three-button jacket - he's gone Sting in Quadrophenia – Didi Hamann, former Newcastle player (I'd forgotten that), is also in the ESPN studio. On Metalist McManaman said "we don't see them as often as we'd like to". I think Dietmar gave him a quizzical look at that point. As did I.
Team news do you in lieu of a preamble? It'll have to while I eat a £3 brick/sandwich from the cold counter. Food masquerading as the plot of Marathon Man. It's a glamorous life this.
Newcastle: Krul, Yanga-Mbiwa, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Santon, Obertan, Tiote, Cabaye, Gutierrez, Sissoko, Cisse.
Subs: Elliot, Simpson, Anita, Perch, Marveaux, Shola Ameobi, Haidara.
FC Metalist Kharkiv: Goryainov, Villagra, Gueye, Torsiglieri, Fininho, Torres, Marlos, Edmar, Cleiton Xavier, Sosa, Cristaldo.
Subs: Disljenkovic, Berezovchuk, Shelayev, Blanco, Jakson,
Referee (Michael's Consigliere): Tom Harald Hagen (Norway)