FULL TIME: Juventus 2-2 Real Madrid
Nope! That's your lot! Real sit atop the group with ten points, as good as through to the knockout stage. Copenhagen have beaten Galatasaray 1-0, and are off the bottom, where Juve now reside. But the Italian champions have finished with Real now, and they're only a point behind their two challengers for the second spot. You'd fancy them to make it through.
90 min: There will be three added minutes. A draw will be a fair result, but is there a twist to come?
88 min: Giovinco comes on for Llorente, a midfielder for a striker. Antonio Conte appears happy to settle for a point, especially as Ronaldo has just danced past four challenges down the right before zipping a cross straight across the face of goal, and Copenhagen are still winning at home against Galatasaray. The chase for second place will be a fierce one, though you'd expect Juve to prevail with the Italian side - as things stand - only a point behind the other two.
85 min: Quagliarella breaks clear into the Real half, after a long Pogba rake. He chips the ball over the advancing Casillas, but the ball clanks off the bar, down and out. However, it's all an exercise in futility, as he was flagged offside.
84 min: It's a tense Juventus Stadium.
83 min: The first touch for Quagliarella, who receives the ball with his back to goal on the left-hand edge of the Real D, spins quickly and pokes a shot straight at Casillas through a crowd of defenders.
82 min: Well that corner wasn't worth waiting for.
81 min: Ronaldo skitters down the left and fires a low ball into the box. Bonucci slides in to poke out for a corner on the left. Before the corner's taken, a couple of changes, one apiece: Quagliarella comes on for Tevez, while Rodriguez replaces Benzema.
78 min: Tevez floats in from the left, then lashes a brutal shot straight at Casillas, who punches strongly back up the field. Real clear. "Dear Dr Murray," begins a distressed Simon McMahon. "I find that I get confused switching between three different MBMs at the same time, to the extent that I now think Juventus are leading Man City 11-3. What should I do?" Put the iPad down and stop drinking heavily. Unless you haven't had anything to drink, in which case start drinking heavily, then smash the iPad.
75 min: Marcelo, coming in from the left wing, curls an exquisite crossfield pass to the feet of Bale, just inside the area on the right. Bale attempts to cut inside, but can't get a shot away. It's his last act of the evening, as he's replaced by Di Maria.
73 min: Bonucci is booked for an agricultural scythe on Ramos, as the Real man cuts in from the right. This free kick will be just outside the area, to the right of the D. Ronaldo makes a total hash of the set piece, though, skelping the ball into the wall, then hoicking the rebound miles over the bar.
71 min: Alonso, only just back from injury and kaput as a result, is replaced by Illarramendi. He's put in a good shift today, though.
68 min: Modric steps over a ball rolling down the middle of the Juve half, allowing Benzema to enter the area just to the right of the D. Benzema attempts to scoop an effort into the top right, but he guides it just wide of the target. Good luck predicting the final score of this one. Both defences are a bit of a joke tonight. But who's complaining?
GOAL!!! Juventus 2-2 Real Madrid (Llorente 65)
What a game this is turning out to be! Caceres pays a little back for the mistake that led to Ronaldo's equaliser, whipping a delicious curler into the Juve area from the right. Varane, on the penalty spot, should probably head clear, but he spins round like a teenager who has just knocked back three cans of Special Brew. He's all over the shop! What on earth is he doing? Behind him, Llorente ghosts in to power a downward header into the right-hand side of the net. Casillas had no chance! Game on!
63 min: Juventus will be worried about the way this is panning out. Real are looking dangerous every time they flood forward. Benzema releases Ronaldo down the right. Bale does his best to drag Juventus the other way with a clever run, but Asamoah sticks to Ronaldo, who is forced to shoot from a tight angle. Buffon gathers.
GAZGOL!!! Juventus 1-2 Real Madrid (Bale 60)
So much for Juve coming back to life! Benzema, cutting across from the left, feeds the ball to Bale, coming in from the wing to the right of the D. He takes one touch inside, giving himself a little bit of room in front of Asamoah, and lashes a shot into the bottom right. What a turnaround this is! And after a slow injury-hit start to his Real Madrid career, Bale is really beginning to find his feet at his new club.
58 min: Juve turn up at last! Pogba once again twirls down the left in the fancy Baroque style. He reaches the byline and whips a low ball into the six-yard box. Marchisio, level with the left-hand post eight yards out, hammers a shot goalwards. Casillas makes a world-class reaction stop. Marchisio latches onto the rebound, and fires the ball towards the bottom left corner with Casillas prone. Pepe's on the line to hack clear. Wow! Juve have been on the rack to an embarrassing degree since the restart, but that might shake them back into life.
56 min: REAL HIT THE BAR! Benzema and Bale bugger around down the right for a while. Eventually the ball breaks to Alonso, 25 yards out. The midfielder sends a rising heatseeker towards the top right. Buffon's beaten all ends up, but Alonso's put a little too much juice into the effort, and it twangs off the bar, near the right-hand corner of the frame.
54 min: The Juventus Stadium is pretty quiet all of a sudden. Real have their tails up. Ramos is confident enough to head deep into Juventus territory and spank a hopeless effort miles over the bar from 30 yards.
GOAL!!! Juventus 1-1 Real Madrid (Ronaldo 52)
Caceres goes from hero to zero in less than 60 seconds. Out on the Real left near the halfway line, he looks to play a backpass down the wing but doesn't get enough purchase on the ball. It clanks to Benzema in the middle. Benzema plays a quick ball down the inside-left channel for Ronaldo, who enters the area, draws Buffon, and chips calmly into the unguarded net.
51 min: Modric sends the ball whistling down the inside left channel. For a second, it looks like Ronaldo is going to tear clear towards the area, but Caceres rushes back to nip the ball off of his toe and away from trouble. Magnificent defending!
48 min: Bale is tasked with the job of charging down the right after a long ball. He's willing, but Asamoah is always going to shepherd the pass out of play. Juventus haven't come out for the second half yet.
46 min: Modric, making ground down the middle, slides the ball to his right for Benzeman, who shuttles it out further to Bale, coming in from the wing. Bale blooters a shot straight into the ground and out of play on the right. Not much of a finish, but a decent start to the half for Real, who need to up their game.
And we're off again! Some first-half stats for folk who wish to bury the beauty of sport under a reductive yawn of numbers. Juve have enjoyed 52% possession, keeping hold of the ball in play for 17 minutes and 16 seconds. Real have had 48% of the ball, using it for 15 minutes and 47 seconds. So the ball's only been active for 33 minutes and three seconds. What can it all mean? The square root of nowt and bugger all to boot, I'll be bound! Juve get the ball rolling for the second period. No changes.
HALF-TIME ADVERTISEMENT (having previously mentioned FC København, who are leading Galatasaray 1-0 thanks to a Daniel Braaten goal): Christmas soon, isn't it. Belated happy J Day, everyone! Merry marketing initiative!
HALF TIME: Juventus 1-0 Real Madrid
There's never much between these two famous old clubs, and there isn't much between them here. Juve deserve to be leading, but only just. They're the more desperate for the points, so this could be one hell of a second half. Don't go flipping.
45 min: Pirlo, who had conceded the aforementioned free kick, gives up another with a late slide on Marcelo. He's booked. From the free kick, Marcelo drifts down the left and fires a low ball into the six-yard box. Benzema cocks his leg to shoot from close range, but Ronaldo gets in ahead and slaps the ball over the bar for three rugby points.
43 min: Free kick to Real down the left, 25 yards out, just to the left of the area. Alonso swings the ball onto the penalty spot. Barzagli heads behind for a corner. There were four Real players offside there, but the home side don't get the decision. There'd have been hell to play had something came of the set piece, but despite Bale making a nuisance of himself at the left-hand post, Juve clear.
GOAL!!! Juventus 1-0 Real Madrid (Vidal pen 42)
Vidal steps up and whips a delightful penalty into the top right. This lead is no more than Juventus deserve, though what a clumsy penalty to concede.
40 min: PENALTY TO JUVE! Pogba goes racing after a ball down the inside left. Varane sticks his long leg out to poke it out of the Juve midfielder's road, but makes no contact. He does meet Pogba's ankle, though, and that's a weak and unnecessary penalty kick!
38 min: Pirlo sprays a ball wide left to Tevez, who drifts inside and lays off to Vidal. Vidal sends a low shot fizzing goalwards, the ball taking a huge deflection en route. Casillas can only parry, and Real do well to bustle the ball out for a corner. From the set piece, Marchisio has a whack from distance; another corner. And from that one, Casillas flaps under a high ball at the far post. Pogba didn't have the belief to attack the header, and Llorente hoicks over from ten yards with his back to goal.
35 min: Modric will miss Real's next game, at home to Galatasaray, because he's just clipped Pogba's ankle from behind, a split second late. That's the first caution of the match, though there have been earlier challenges, by Ronaldo on Barzagli and Bale on Unidentified Juve Man, which were probably worse. Oh Howard Webb! How could you!
33 min: Bale has a dig from 25 yards, cutting in from the right and attempting to curl one into the top left in the style of Kenny Dalglish. It doesn't quite come off, but a decent enough attempt. "Would you say that Pogba is worth the £20,000 a week that Manchester United refused to pay him?" asks Joe McGrath. "Especially considering our current options in central midfield, I get the feeling that'll be a decision we end up looking back on with a lot of regret." Is anyone worth £20,000 a week? Are Russell Brand and Robert Webb having a tedious public spat in vain? But anyway, he does look a player, yes.
30 min: Bale, out on the right, fires a low ball into the area towards Ronaldo, who turns and nearly gets a shot away by the near post. This match hasn't quite flickered into life yet, but it's not far off.
26 min: Some superb play by Vidal down the right, deep inside his own half. He twists and turns his way out of trouble, then sprays a long diagonal pass wide left to Pogba, who shuttles it on to Tevez. When Tevez reaches the corner of the Real area, he sends an inswinger to the far post, where Llorente meets the ball with a powerful downward header. It should be a picturebook pitch-length goal, but Casillas sticks out his right leg to Gordon Banks the thing away from danger along an improbable parabola. It's a corner, from which nothing comes, but my word, that was top class play right down the pitch from Vidal, Pogba, Tevez, Llorente and Casillas.
23 min: Casillas, pushed back on his own line by a nonsense of a Ramos backpass, is forced to jump in the Cossack style to reset his feet before highkicking clear. That was nearly very daft. Ramos, who hasn't looked totally on top of his game so far, owes his keeper a pint.
22 min: Corner for Juve down the left. The ball's slowly worked all the way round to Vidal on the right. Vidal cuts inside and rolls a pointless effort straight at Casillas, who gathers with a yawn.
19 min: Barzagli and Ronaldo chase a ball down the Real left. Barzagli gets there first, shouldering Ronaldo to the floor. It's a fair challenge, but Ronaldo decides to sit on his moneymaker, legs splayed, grinning in the cynical fashion. He's not getting that free kick! Ronaldo, the jig up, eventually grins, playing it for laughs. It's nearly Christmas, sort of, so the crowd respond in the panto style.
16 min: Pogba diddles Khedira with an astonishing dragback and spin through 180 degrees down the left. He strokes a dangerous cross into the middle with the outside of his boot. Pepe sticks a leg out and deflects the ball towards the bottom right, but Casillas's reactions save his embarrassment. Llorente can't slam home the loose ball, which had looped into the air. Real clear. That was sensational play by Pogba.
13 min: Ramos faffs around near the centre circle and lets Llorente run clear down the inside left. Luckily for Real, Llorente doesn't trust himself to make it to the area before Pepe, the striker hesitating and surrendering possession lamely. Real go up the other end, Bale cutting in from the left and whipping a low shot goalwards that's gathered well by Buffon, doubly so because Ronaldo was sniffing around, ready to smash any loose ball into the net. An exciting burst of play after a fairly mundane start.
12 min: Tevez, this being autumn, goes to ground in the penalty area on the shoulder of Ramos, in the manner of a leaf. Referee Howard Webb isn't having a bar of it. We play on.
10 min: Ronaldo chases after a ball down the inside-right channel. He enters the area, but he's being marshalled well by Asamoah, who eases him out to the right. No matter: with little backlift, Ronaldo spins and sends a snapshot across Buffon and towards the bottom left. The ball whistles millimetres wide of the post, though the keeper had it covered. That really was something out of nothing, Asamoah did very little wrong there, only a player like Ronaldo could have threaded a shot through that little gap.
9 min: Ramos rolls a hospital ball back to Casillas, who can only slice out under intense pressure. Varane is then forced to concede a corner, from which Asamoah's left-wing cross is punched out of harm's way by Casillas.
6 min: Khedira lazily gives the ball away to Pirlo in the midfield. Pirlo strokes a pass down the left for Tevez to chase, but the striker is left for dust by an astonishing turn of pace from Varane. Juve were two on two there for a split second.
5 min: A bit better from Juve, with Pogba tearing forward down the inside left channel. He takes a whack at goal, but cutting across the face of the ball he manages to miss the target to the left by very many feet.
4 min: Real are knocking the ball around at the back, this way and that, hither and yon. They keep hold of the thing for the best part of two minutes, 15, 20, maybe 30 passes. Juve can't get a sniff. The home fans make their feelings known in the 'Pelters' style.
2 min: Twice within 60 seconds, Llorente takes down a long ball and nearly sets Juve off on the attack. The first instance was the more dangerous, Tevez being released into a bit of space down the inside right, but Real snuff the move out quickly enough.
And we're off! Real get the match underway. Within 20 seconds, Bale is found in acres down the right, but he can't get his cross past the first man Asamoah, and the ball's flying out for a throw-in that's wasted.
The teams are out! Juventus are in their ersatz Notts County get-up, while Real Madrid are dressed as a slightly jazzier Wolverhampton Wanderers. It's like the 1888/89 Football League all over again. It's what the kids are crying out for, the 1888/89 Football League. They're gagging for it.
The boys are here, the boys to entertain you
Juventus: Buffon, Caceres, Barzagli, Bonucci, Asamoah, Vidal, Pirlo, Pogba, Tevez, Marchisio, Llorente.
Subs: Storari, Ogbonna, De Ceglie, Giovinco, Padoin, Quagliarella, Isla.
Real Madrid: Casillas, Sergio Ramos, Pepe, Varane, Marcelo, Khedira, Alonso, Bale, Modric, Ronaldo, Benzema.
Subs: Diego Lopez, Carvajal, Arbeloa, Jese, Di Maria, Isco, Illarramendi.
Referee: Howard Webb (England).
Juventus haven't quite reached the last chance saloon in this season's Champions League. Though if they fail to win tonight, it's likely they'll need two victories in their final two Group B games to scrape through to the knockout stages, and even then they'll be dependent on results from elsewhere. A game against Real Madrid, then, who have scored ten goals in their last two games, and beat Juve at the Bernabeu two weeks ago, won't necessarily have been their situation of choice.
Juve can take a little heart, though. They've bounced back well since losing in Madrid. Three straight wins in Serie A, against Genoa, Catania and Parma, have hauled them right into title contention. They've not conceded a goal since Cristiano Ronaldo put two past them a fortnight ago, and scored seven themselves. And Madrid's defence might offer a little hope, too. While Ronaldo, Gareth Bale and Karim Benzema have been sharing those aforementioned ten goals between them, the circus troupe which passes for their back line have let in five. ("We're allowing too many goals," Real coach Carlo Ancelotti has admitted.)
So Juve may opt to remember the opening exchanges of that defeat in Madrid, when they gave as good as they got and looked threatening up front. Real made heavy work of the 2-1 win over a side forced to dig in for most of the second half with ten men. They played well, despite the hapless antics of Giorgio Chiellini, and home advantage - Bayern Munich are the only team to have beaten them at their new Juventus Stadium - could be the decisive factor tonight.
Real, of course, will hardly be easing off. They can qualify for the knockout stage this evening. A draw will do unless Copenhagen beat Galatasaray, and even if the Danish win, Real are as good as there.
The stage is set for another fine match between two clubs who rarely give up much ground to each other. Kick off is at 7.45pm GMT, 8.45pm in Turin.