Juventus were abysmal in the first leg. Tonight they were decent, at times even quite good, but they were still a long way from good enough. Bayern spent most of the second half toying with them like so many cats with so many dead mice. There can't be a much better first-leg score than 2-0 – score any more and you kill your opponents' hope and the entire second leg is dead; score any fewer and you might not win. Two is just enough to give your rivals hope, and just enough for you to be pretty confident of crushing it.
Thanks for being there. It's been, well, OK. Roll on the semi-finals. Bye!
Bayern will be joined in the semi-finals by Barcelona, who have gone through on away goals after a 1-1 home draw against Paris St-Germain.
Final score: Juventus 0-2 Bayern Munich
90+3 min: It's all over! Bayern stroll into the semi-finals!
90+2 min: If you're still watching this, you missed this turn from Iniesta in the other game.
GOAL! Juventus 0-2 Bayern Munich (Pizarro, 90 min)
Incredibly easy, with Juve having given up. Schweini's lovely through-ball, Pizarro's first-time finish, goal.
88 min: I did the Dortmund v Málaga game last night, which obviously in a tumult of incredibly dramatic scenes. In terms of late drama this – and of course I might look silly having written this, if Juve score four in stoppage time – is the opposite of that game.
87 min: Bayern break, and Robben makes everyone think he's going to play the ball to Müller, then just keeps going by himself, but his low shot from 17 yards is saved.
87 min: Juve get the ball into Bayern's penalty area. Bayern clear easily.
86 min: Tra la la la la.
83 min: Mandzukic is off, replaced by Claudio Pizarro. He'll be suspended for the first leg of the semi-final after his harsh first-half booking, but on the plus side his side will be in the semi-final.
82 min: I hate fans who leave matches early, but if I were a Juve fan I'd be in the pub/cosmopolitan wine bar by now. If there is one near the Juve stadium.
80 min: Ribery is off, and Luiz Gustavo is on.
79 min: Müller slams a half-volley just wide from the edge of the area. Nice effort.
78 min: Bayern are keeping the ball, Juve are kind-of-chasing them. There's no doubt which side deserves to be in the semi-final.
75 min: I think every neutral would have wanted Juventus to score first. This is descending into a scrappy, rather mean-spirited snoozefest.
72 min: You can turn off now, probably. Vucinic slides in late on Lahm, who leaps out of the way theatrically, and then tries to start an argument with anyone nearby wearing red or, in the case of Neuer, luminous green.
70 min: This time Schweini plays the ball down the wing for Robben, whose cross is poor. Meanwhile in Barcelona, it's 1-1.
69 min: Mandzukic wins another free-kick, in an almost identical to the first. Juven replace Padoin with Mauricio Isla.
66 min: Juventus show how serious they are about scoring four by taking off a striker, Quagliarella. They do bring on another, Alessandro Matri, but still…
66 min: Robben carries the ball down the right, with one defender and three team-mates to his left. He tries to find Schweinsteiger, misses, finds Müller instead, and he shoots over.
65 min: Juventus now need four. Pirlo's corner is wasted, and Bayern break…
GOAL! Juventus 0-1 Bayern (Mandzukic, 64 min)
That's how injured he was! Lovely delivery from Schweinsteiger, met by Javi Martínez at the far post, whose volley is well saved by Buffon, but the ball goes only to Mandzukic, who heads in!
63 min: Mandzukic has just required extensive treatment to a nothing injury after winning a free-kick 40 yards from goal.
62 min: Bayern are killing the game here, keeping the ball, winning set-pieces, and spending a long time taking them.
59 min: Half an hour to play, and the game is becoming more stretched. Juve know that the harder their try to score, the more likely Bayern are to score. Damned if they do, damned if they don't…
57 min: As I write, Chiellini bursts into the area and goes down over Boateng's foot, but no penalty is given. And Bayern burst down the other end, where Robben curls a shot against the post from 20 yards!
56 min: Juve may have sacrificed their coherence in their excitement. They're huffing and puffing, but are yet to cause great alarm.
53 min: Chance! The ball falls to Quagliarella inside the penalty area, and he spins and thumps the ball goalwards. Neuer saves, and the whistle goes: Quagliarella was a good two yards offside.
52 min: Bayern, though, have extra space in attack as a result. Müller hares towards the byline, with four players in support, but Pirlo arrives in the nick of time to toe-end the ball out of play.
50 min: The question, when a team starts a game absolutely having to score but don't, is when they will start to really go for it. And the answer, for Juve, seems to be now.
49 min: Meanwhile in Barcelona, Paris St-Germain are now 1-0 up.
48 min: Quagliarella cuts in from the left and shoots, from 25 yards, low and hard and a yard or so wide of the near post. That's got the fans singing again.
47 min: This time Pirlo shoots low, and it pings off the wall, and off another defender, and then heads goalwards slowly enough for Neuer to go the wrong way, stop himself, and collect.
46 min: Chance! Vucinic pegs it towards the Bayern area, and just before he runs into a thicket of defenders Ribery arrives to nibble at his ankles and gift Juve a tasty free-kick.
46 min: They're off! Again!
Apparently Schweinsteiger posted the worst half-hourly passing stats of his entire career in that opening 30 minutes. But Juve still need to score, and they still can't afford to concede. It seems they're still feeling optimistic over in Italy. Anything can happen. Well, one of two things.
You can tell a lot about a game from the photos taken during it, and my picture wires are full of the likes of this:
… and also this:
45+2 min: The half ends with a Juve corner, Alaba's touch just guiding the ball away from Padoin, who was in too much space on the right. It's a poor corner, and that's yer lot, for now.
45+1 min: Alaba's cross is cleared back to Ribéry, whose shot is weak and easily fielded.
45 min: The half is almost over, and Juve are getting frustrated, Bayern continuing to hog possession. There will be two minutes of stoppage time.
43 min: Bayern play keep-ball for a while, their possession inevitably ending with Arjen Robben sending the cutinsidefromtheleftandshootwildlyometer ticking round to two.
41 min: Chance at the other end! Pirlo's free-kick is sailing out of play, but then Martínez unaccountably heads the ball back into the mixer, Quagliarella turns it goalwards, and Bonucci, I think, a yard or so from the goalline, spins and diverts the ball wide.
39 min: Buffon forced into a save! Robben's corner is cleared by Quagliarella, but not very well. The ball rumbles to the edge of the area, from where Alaba thumps it goalwards. Buffon gets two strong hands to it to shovel it away.
36 min: With Bayern's defence collectively anticipating a cross towards the six-yard box, the ball is pulled back to Pogba on the edge of the area, in acres of space. Enough space to turn down the first-time shot and instead take a controlling touch, let the defence close you down and waste the chance completely.
35 min: Bayern have been forced into a substitution, Van Buyten coming off and Jérôme Boateng coming on. Van Buyten is pointing to his face, but also limping.
34 min: This is all decent, high-tempo stuff. A bit imprecise at times, but more than watchable, for sure. There's a goal coming here, and either side could get it. In Juve's latest attempt, Quagliarella is caught narrowly offside.
32 min: Chance for Bayern! Alaba crosses from the left, Mandzukic chests down, and Müller half-volleys wide from 20 yards.
29 min: Another shot from Juventus, Quagliarella with it, but it's Robbenesque in its waywardness.
27 min: Juve's best move of the game ends with Pogba sliding the ball across the six-yard box, but Quagliarella has come short for the pull-back and no one else has busted a gut to replace him in the middle, and it rolls away to safety.
26 min: A combined 51 minutes played in tonight's two Champions League games, and not a goal to talk about yet.
23 min: Instead he goes the other way, blasting the ball wide of the wall straight where Neuer was standing. Had the keeper tried to preempt the dink over the wall, it would have gone in. He didn't.
22 min: Marchisio is caught by Lahm on the very edge of the penalty area. If Pirlo can get the ball over the wall and down again, it's a goal.
21 min: The Arjen Robben cutinsidefromtheleftandshootwildlyometer has just ticked over to one. The shot flew miles over.
19 min: At some point, though, someone has to prove that they can win more than just free-kicks. Pirlo is the latest to be unfairly felled.
18 min: The first few minutes were an aberration – both teams have turned up, and Bayern are currently looking better.
16 min: This might just turn out to be quite tasty. And quite testy. What are the odds on this still being 11 v 11 at the end?
14 min: A lovely set piece from Schweinsteiger, but it's just too far in front of Dante, and Van Buyten is beyond goal, and stretching badly, when he does head it.
13 min: Now though Bonucci is booked, for falling over and grabbing Müller's leg as he did so.
12 min: Chiellini is really putting himself about a bit here, and puzzlingly the referee is giving him a free-kick every time he goes in recklessly, Müller his latest victim.
11 min: Vucinic keeps Javi Martínez at arm's length with a gentle open palm, but makes contact with his opponent's face, so the Bayern man rolls around for a while holding it.
9 min: A half-chance, and it goes to the just-booked Mandzukic, Ribery slamming the ball low across the penalty area to his team-mate only for Padoin to dive in and get in the way of the shot.
7 min: Mandzukic has been booked, for allowing his shin to be kicked by Giorgio Chiellini. He will now miss the first leg of the semi-final, if Bayern reach it. A poor decision.
6 min: Things are starting to settle down. Bayern have five or six men in midfield when Juventus try to carry the ball out of defence, leaving them little option but to give the ball away, as they have done, three times in the last minute or so.
4 min: It's 100% Juventus so far, though their attack finally fizzled out when Chiellini tried to juggle the ball to Vucinic with his head.
2 min: The first shot of the game comes from Juventus, but it's a pretty lame one, Mirko Vucinic sidefooting the ball into Neuer's arms from the edge of the area.
1 min: The crowd is making a lot of noise. Lots of people think Bayern have got this one in the bag, but nobody has told the Italians.
1 min: And they're off! And this is why Rob Marriott is watching this game, not the other one: "You know, you're probably right about Barcelona-PSG getting most of the attention. But frankly, Juventus-Bayern looks more interesting. After all, and even though PSG have Zlatan, Barcelona are at home and have those away goals secured: it's going to be a walkover, isn't it? However, if Juventus get the first goal … well, you know, cliches and all that. The Juve game is where the thinking man takes his viewing tonight. That said, if Bayern score first, I'm turning over."
The players are out, by the way. Enormous choral anthem time.
Here's a stat from Opta. Of course, even if they picked the same team every game, this would be the oldest they have fielded this year.
Barney Ronay is in Turin for The Guardian today. And this is what he's got to say about it:
Stadio delli Aldi! Arf!
Juventus: Buffon, Barzagli, Bonucci, Chiellini, Padoin, Pogba, Pirlo, Marchisio, Asamoah, Quagliarella, Vucinic. Subs: Storari, Caceres, De Ceglie, Peluso, Giaccherini, Isla, Matri.
Bayern Munich: Neuer, Lahm, Van Buyten, Dante, Alaba, Javi Martinez, Schweinsteiger, Robben, Muller, Ribery, Mandzukic. Subs: Starke, Shaqiri, Rafinha, Pizarro, Boateng, Gustavo, Gomez.
Referee: Carlos Velasco Carballo (España).
Let's be frank about this: my guess is a lot of people will be watching Barcelona v Paris St-Germain. It's OK. I don't mind. Particularly if that means you'll be following the other match with yours truly. Whatever brings you here, welcome. And here are your big big-match pointers:
• Bayern won the first leg 2-0, and also run riot on their most recent visit to Juventus, coming back from a goal down to win 4-1. But the all-time head-to-head record is delicately poised: Played 7, Bayern wins 3, Juventus wins 3, daws one.
• Juve have hosted German opposition 20 times winning 14 (70%); Bayern have travelled to Italian opposition 17 times, winning five (29.4%) and losing nine (52.9%).
• Juventus also have a 100% continental quarter-final record against German sides (in five previous attempts).
• Juve have won their last five home games in all competitions. Bayern, though, have won 15 of their last 16 games both home and away.
• Since that 4-1 Bayern victory in 2009, Juventus haven't lost a European match at home, winning six and drawing five. Of course a draw won't do tonight, and a win might not either, but still…
• Despite that 2-0 first-leg defeat, Juventus's defence is the meanest of those teams still in the competition (Málaga had been level with them, until last night).
• Stephan Lichtsteiner and Arturo Vidal (who, with three goals, is the Italian side's second-top European goalscorer this season behind only Fabio Quagliarella, who has four) are suspended for Juve, and both Claudio Marchisio and Giorgio Chiellini are a booking away from being banned for the first leg of a possible semi-final. Bayern don't have any suspensions for tonight's game, but Luiz Gustavo, Dante, Mario Mandžukić and Philipp Lahm are all a booking away from missing their next one.
• Bayern's next goal will be their 400th in European competition.
• The refereeing squad are all Spanish and will be led by Carlos Velasco Carballo, a trained engineer whose hobbies include fishing and reading. Let's hope there aren't too many names in his book this evening, eh? Arf!
• Enjoying a sixth week at No1 in Italy: L'Essenziale by Marco Mengoni! In the video, Mengoni shows how fabulously he can emote even while doing something as routine as just putting on a coat. He then proceeds to trip unconvincingly on a pavement and fall into a swimming pool in which someone is playing a violin. He really does emote spectacularly well.
Simon will be here from 7.15pm BST with live commentary on the Champions League tie between Juventus and Bayern Munich.
In the meantime, here's what Juventus have been saying in the build-up:
Juventus face an uphill struggle to qualify for the Champions League semi-finals when they come up against the newly crowned Bundesliga champions, Bayern Munich, on Wednesday, having been dominated for most of last Tuesday's first leg, and lucky to escape Munich only 2-0 down.
The Italian side, in the quarter-finals for the first time since the 2006 match-fixing scandal, have never managed to overturn a two-goal deficit.
"We have to believe in ourselves, otherwise we start already beaten," the midfielder Emanuele Giaccherini said. "They have won the championship, they have a two-goal advantage and they are one of the strongest teams in the world, but we will give everything and try to overturn the result."
Juventus's task is made more difficult by personnel problems. The midfielder Arturo Vidal and the defender Stephan Lichtsteiner, who both started in Munich, are suspended, and the striker Sebastian Giovinco is injured.
The goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon, who was criticised after the first leg, was on the substitute's bench on Saturday suffering from the flu but will almost certainly return for the meeting with Bayern.