So, aside from the first half an hour, Arsenal were basically in control of that game, and fully deserved their 3-0 win, and probably could have scored one or two more, if they had put their minds to it. They're now four points ahead of Everton in fourth place for the moment, but that of course could change.
And it could change as Roberto Martinez's side now play Manchester United, so join Simon Burnton for 90 minutes of Evertonians calling David Moyes a douche, and some occasional football.
Full time: Hull 0-3 Arsenal
And that's yer lot.
90 mins + 4: Quinn fires a pass back towards Davies, possibly testing his reflexes, but the defenders deals with it pretty well.
90 mins + 2: Sagna puts a dangerous cross over from the right, and Chester just about deals with it, keeping his hands out of the way of the bouncing ball. It finds its way back out to Sagna, who tees up Flamini, but his 'shot' squiffs fairly harmlessly up in the air, and floats gently out of play, like a careless child letting the string on their balloon go.
90 mins: Four minutes of added time.
89 mins: Oh Yaya. He's a player that you have to feel sorry for, and thus would probably like to see do well, but Sanogo just isn't anything close to good enough for Arsenal at the moment. The ball falls to him in the box after good work by Ramsey, but he completely misses it and almost falls over. Poor Yaya.
88 mins: Arsenal attempt a counter, but it breaks down after Oxlade-Chamberlain takes one of those baby elephant touches to which he's very occasionally prone, and it goes out.
87 mins: Fryatt tries one of those attack things again, but his low cross from the right is hoofed clear by Mertesacker.
86 mins: Ooooh, a rare second half effort for Hull. Fryatt lets fly from the edge of the area, but it's not hugely powerful and in the middle of the goal, and Szczesny has few problems gathering that one.
84 mins: Pair of subs, one for each team - Robert Koren is on for Boyd, while Yaya Sanogo replaces Podolski, leaving Ramsey on. Hmmmm.
83 mins: Oxlade-Chamberlain breaks at pace down the right, but after hoying the ball across the pitch to no great effect, the attack breaks down.
82 mins: Having removed Ozil to preserve his fitness, should Wenger not be giving Ramsey a rest here too?
80 mins: Podolski makes a run and is nearly found by a neat chipped pass over the top, but Chester is across to head away.
79 mins: Russell Hope tries to stir up some inter-broadsheet scuffles:
"I'm just letting you know that the Telegraph M-B-M-er signed off at half-time with tortuous Sex Pistols reference. I emailed him saying I like his work and his paper, but he was was trying too hard there. I'm guessing you would consider that a mild rebuke..."
Now, the chap doing the Telegraph MBM is a good friend of mine and I'll not have a bad word to say about him. Stay on the Guardian for your MBM needs, though.
77 mins: Hmmm, Arsenal should really have been given a penalty there. Oxlade-Chamberlain breaks into the box from the right, is almost taken out once by Rosenior but is then definitely taken out by Davies. The ball breaks to Ramsey, who tries a low shot that is saved by Harper, meaning advantage over, but no pen is given. There is one thing - and only one thing - that football can learn from rugby, and that's a proper use of the advantage.
75 mins: Arsenal go close to another as Cazorla fizzes in a dangerous free kick from the left and the BFG Mertesacker gets his nut to the ball, but directs it just over the bar.
74 mins: Sub for Arsenal - Giroud is off, and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is on.
73 mins: Simon Heseltine points out: "So if Arsenal finish 4th, Hull get into the europa league no matter what happens on May 17th..."
This is correct. Weird, no?
71 mins: Both teams now seem to have come to a sort of unspoken arrangement that nobody is going to try too hard, Arsenal happy with their three points and Hull just trying to make sure they don't get even more of a hiding. There is something of an Anschlussy air to the whole thing.
Speaking of which, have a read of Paul Doyle's piece on the 1982 Austria v West Germany game from a couple of years back.
69 mins: Change for Hull - Stephen Quinn is on for Jelavic.
68 mins: Arsenal are knocking the ball around now with the air of a team that both know they are hugely superior to their opponents, and that they have three points in the bag here.
66 mins: David Hunter makes a fair point, quoting from the preamble:
"Hull aren't actually safe from relegation just yet, but they're in the FA Cup final and would you put a huge amount of money on Arsenal safely tucking three points into their back pockets in this one? Of course you wouldn't. Although, if you'd like to, drop me an e-mail and I'll give you my bank details."
So, you paying up now or at the end of the game?
Ha! Nobody took me up on the bet! Anyway, gambling is bad and you shouldn't do it. You'll end up like that guy in Casino that Nicky Santoro gives money to in order to pay some bills, and he drops it all on the craps tables.
64 mins: Bloody hell. Arsenal go close to a fourth after Harper makes a terrible arse of a backpass, misjudging how long the thing would take to get to him and Giroud chases it down, blocks the clearance but then hits the bar with his shot, as he's tumbling over with a tight angle. Excellent slapstick there.
62 mins: Giroud is on the floor after receiving a blow to his beautiful, beautiful bonce. Unintentionally, one should add, after going up for a header with a couple of Hull defenders. He's fine though. Relax, everyone.
61 mins: Change for Arsenal - Ozil has had his hour, and has shown a few decent flashes but clearly, and understandably, isn't fit. Mathieu Flamini takes his place.
59 mins: We'll get back to the football again in a minute (Hull are taking some corners) but here's more hurling news, from Niall Mullen:
"The captain of the late great 1980s Tipperary hurling team Richard Stakelum was my teacher (and hurling coach at primary school). One day a rat was spotted in the pupils' toilets. Mr Stakelum went in with his camán (hurling stick). Let's just say it finished teacher 1 - rat 0."
58 mins: Joshua writes in with some penis references from across the pond:
"You are up against stiff commentary competition: NBCs half time analysis includes 'Ramsey has his pecker up' soon followed by 'and Arteta says his tackle was clean'. Hard to best that."
56 mins: It's been a slightly curious game, this Arsenal haven't been massively impressive, but at the same time are worth the 3-0 lead. Hull have played pretty well, but haven't created enough chances, or of course taken the ones they have carved out, to really warrant anything but this scoreline.
54 mins: Well, not really, but it was quite nicely worked. Monreal plays in Cazorla on the left, and he does brilliantly to find the run of Ramsey with a pinpoint cut-back. Ramsey's shot is well saved by the feet of Harper, leaving a relatively simple task for Podolski, who slips in the rebound.
GOAL! Hull 0-3 Arsenal (Podolski 54)
ARSENAL SCORE THE BEST GOAL ANYONE HAS EVER SCORED!
53 mins: Rosenior makes more tracks down the left flank, but this time his cross is rather less impressive, sliced out for a goal kick.
51 mins: Rosenior does well to find some space down the left and chips over a cross, but Monreal also does well, in this case to head it clear.
49 mins: Elmohamady is furious after being barged to the ground by Monreal, although it's tricky to see why. It was a fairly regulation foul, no real malice involved and so forth.
48 mins: Fryatt is almost in down the left side of the box, but Koscielny does well to ease him aside, until he skews the clearance out for a relatively needless corner.
47 mins: Giroud goes to ground after falling heavily following an aerial challenge with Huddlestone.
Andrew Gerrard continues the hurling theme: "This is my favourite photo showing what its like to play hurling. This is from the 1990 Al Ireland Cup Final. And yes, his nose did explode shortly afterwards."
46 mins: And the second half has started. Sub for Hull - Matty Fryatt is on for Long, which if it's isn't because of injury, is an odd one.
Right, the teams are out for the second 45, and I promise to be like this for the second half...
David Atkinson does a funny:
"Just to let you know, given some of the stick you're getting, that I think your writing has always been excellent. Admittedly Red State was a bit of a mess and you never really learned where to point a camera but Clerks and Dogma are two of my favourite films so don't let the haters get you down!"
A couple of alternative interpretations of the 'foul' in the build-up to Arsenal's second.
From Barry Webb: "If you look at the replay (if you are able), then it was probable that Jelavic went to ground because of the strong winds rather than the slightest of contact from Arteta."
And from Lucas: "Take another look Nick! Arteta never made contact with Jelavic before the 2nd goal."
Patrick Michael Hull offers a pep-talk:
"You're keeping me entertained while I pretend to study for final exams. Admittedly you're competing with phrases like "cationic derivatives of this complex are efficient catalysts for polypropene polymerisation. Show the mechanism of the reaction and explain the stereochemistry of the polymer formed" but you can only beat the opposition that's put in front of you."
Ian Archer chips in to what is fast becoming a hurling MBM:
"First game of the season in our Uni footie team we had a new Irish goalkeeper who played the best game is ever seen at that level (admittedly about division 6 or 7 in the Uni of London leagues). He was phenomenal and after the game it admitted it was the first game of football he'd ever played. No one could quite believe it then he admitted he was a hurling goalkeeper back home... Never seen a braver person on a football pitch. Having seen that video I can understand why...."
Half-time: Hull 0-2 Arsenal
That's the break, and Hull are still complaining, with some cause too. They were most certainly the better team for roughly the first half an hour, but Arsenal have stepped up since then and a couple of very well worked and incisive attacks have put them into the lead. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to scream into a pillow at the heinous misfortune I have to be covering a sport I so clearly despise.
45 mins + 1: What the hell is going on here? Pierre writes:
"Joshua's mail about the lack of enthusiasm was spot on. The goal description bordered on barely concealed contempt. 'Simple really' instead of relaying the great move that lead up to it."
I'll make sure I find some pom-poms for the second half.
45 mins: Arsenal double their lead, but shouldn't have been allowed to after Jelavic is fouled by Arteta in the Arsenal half, but nothing is given and a counter attack is launched. Giroud floats a lovely ball over from the right, Ramsey chests it down nicely and Podolski barrels in and volleys powerfully into the corner. A very good, if illegitimate goal.
GOAL! Hull 0-2 Arsenal (Podolski 45)
And that's two, but Hull aren't happy.
43 mins: Scott Stricker writes: "In your interview for the MBM position did you have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt your unyielding hatred for football?
"In the words of our mothers, "if you don't have anything nice to say...quit your job."
Joke's on you, Scott: I didn't have an interview for this gig. They didn't need to ask about my unyielding hatred for football. It seeps from my very pores.
42 mins: Another cross from the Hull right finds Long at the near post, but his header goes just wide of the post. Arsenal have been the better side since just before their goal, but Hull are still creating some quite presentable chances.
40 mins: "It's worth pointing out that hurlers are all still unpaid amateurs and that helmets were only made mandatory in the past few years," points out David Flynn.
"I myself used to be a hurling goalkeeper. I still have nightmares, those balls are harder than baseballs."
39 mins: Meyler goes down claiming some sort of heinous wrong dished out by Monreal, but there was very little to the foul, if a foul it was at all. Carry on.
38 mins: Elmohamady barges Giroud over on the left corner of the box, comically claiming that it wasn't a foul, but it allows Arsenal to take a couple of what might be the worst shots of the season.
That isn't likely to please Joshua, who writes in an e-mail with the rather haughty subject line 'Step it up': "Try to be a little more enthusiastic about Arsenal, eh. No need to be quite so consistently dodging opportunities for balance, let alone generosity. Did they do something bad?"
Well, the last ten minutes or so aside, they haven't been very good. But if you'd prefer the old bias route, then sure, go nuts, whatever gets you through the night.
37 mins: Ramseystat:
36 mins: Another cross from the right finds Boyd at the far post, and he heads over, but claims the last touch came off Sagna. No dice from the ref there.
35 mins: Post! Great effort by Livermore, after some neat work by Long and Meyler sets him up around 25 yards out, and the Spurs loanee spanks a low right-footed shot against Szczensy's right post, and it bounces out to safety.
34 mins: Giroud, who has basically done nothing else so far, does well down the left to dig out a cross at the byline, but Ozil can't quite reach it as it goes into the box.
33 mins: Ah, what could've been...
31 mins: Well, that's basically the first time Arsenal have put any sort of proper passing move together, and it results in a goal. Ozil feeds Cazorla on the edge of the area, a neat lay-off puts Ramsey in on the right of goal and a low shot across Harper goes into the bottom corner. Simple enough, really.
GOAL! Hull 0-1 Arsenal (Ramsey 31)
Against the run of play, it must be said.
29 mins: Boyd is back on the pitch now, his nose fine, one assumes.
28 mins: Isn't this quite a weird time to announce something like that?
26 mins: Boyd is in some bother after going up for a header with Mertesacker and Koscielny, ending up sandwiched between the two of them, and appears to have blood wazzing out of his nose. He goes off, his face obscured by a towel that will soon be red.
25 mins: Thus far, Hull have looked a much more threatening side. And that this isn't a massive surprise more or less sums up the problem.
23 mins: Livermore puts Long away with a nice pass into the right channel, but he has little support and is forced to try a shot from a tightish angle, and blazes it well over.
22 mins: Jelavic almost makes some room after harassing a couple of Arsenal defenders, but Long's reverse pass to him is too long.
20 mins: Another cross from deep on the Hull right, which looks to be one of these 'tactic' things, and again Szczesny catches the ball. Which, tactically, seems like the smart thing to do.
18 mins: Arsenal break quickly, which isn't something you see written very often, and Ramsey's pass to Podolski is a little behind him, which causes him to cut inside but still gets the right-footed shot away, which Harper saves high to his right.
16 mins: Meyler now gets a booking for a pretty heavy and late foul on Monreal. Incidentally, to all the people writing in letting me know about the existence of Gaelic football - yes, I know that's a thing, but they were very specifically talking about hurling.
15 mins: Oooh, close. Jelavic makes some space on the left side of the box and shoots across goal, but Szczesny gets down to tip it wide. From the corner, Chester gets up amid a sea of bodies and heads over.
14 mins: Bodies strewn all over the place. Mertesacker goes into the book for a foul on Jelavic, but Arteta isn't happy after a challenge and possibly errant arm relieves him of a tooth. Ouch.
13 mins: Ramsey falls over with Boyd vaguely near him, and a free kick is given. These two updates show how daft refereeing decisions are sometimes - one was very clearly more of a foul, but it was inside the box and the other on the halfway line.
11 mins: Ozil goes down in the box, a few Arsenal fans claim a penalty but the man himself just looks a bit baffled. No penalty, although Elmohamady did get his legs entangled a little with the German's.
10 mins: Szczesny does well that time after a through-ball almost finds Long running beyond the Arsenal defence, but the keeper comes out to boot it clear.
7 mins: Elmohamady whips over a dangerous looking cross from the right, and there's a certain amount of panic in the Arsenal defence, with Szczesny claiming the ball in just about the least-convincing manner possible without actually dropping the thing.
5 mins: Advertising is ruining the game. In this case, quite literally, as a very strong gust of wind blows a bunch of pitchside ad boards onto the pitch, very nearly wiping out the linesman. There's a small break while they're all cleared away.
4 mins: Alan Parry has just referred to Shane Long and David Meyler playing a "rather rougher form of football back in Ireland."
The sport he was talking about is hurling. This is hurling.
2 mins: Nacho Monreal starts in the traditional manner by skewing a clearance out for a corner. Szczesny does pretty well to claim the cross under some pretty heavy pressure from Curtis Davies.
1 min: And they're off. We're off. No, actually, definitely 'they're'.
"Wenger should have signed Berbatov," writes Ahmed Jamadar, but not for the reasons you're thinking. "He would look much better in the coat as compared to to Ozil. And they could have shared a cigarette or two post match as well."
The Hull PA chap has just managed the rather awkward transition from actually shouting the teams to announcing a minute's silence for former Hull player Andy Davidson with some aplomb.
Alistair G. Bayliss is cross:
"What's with this 2.05 start time? We all know how fragile Arsenal's state of mind is - will this deviation from the usual 15 minute designations tip them over the edge? I think the normal 15 designations of the clock face have been doing a super job, by the way. Can I sign a petition?"
Steve Bruce, picking up the baton tragically left behind by Owen Coyle, talks about wanting to stay in the 'Barclays Premier League'. Company man.
And David Pick is back, sending another recommendation of ways to kill the hours in East Riding.
"Implying there's nowt to do in hull eh?" says David Pick.
"Hull Pie - best pies you can get! Writing this from Perth, Australia. Lot's to do in in Hull then..."
Have a look at Anna Kessel's interview with Hull's Sone Aluko and his sister Eni, both aiming for their respective World Cups with Nigeria and England.
Articulate and academic, alongside a career in football Eniola is also a lawyer. When England's women were embroiled in a pay dispute with the Football Association last year, the Chelsea player worked behind the scenes alongside the PFA, using her knowledge of contractual law.
But a quick scroll through Sone's Twitter account suggests that his sister is not the only bright spark in the family. There's the reference to the Sundance film festival documentary The Square, about the Egyptian revolution, a critique of Chinua Achebe's seminal work Things Fall Apart, proverbs, book recommendations, observations on democracy, the cult of celebrity, and sports science. "Everyone thinks I'm the brainbox," laughs Eniola, "but Sone reads a lot. I think he's actually more intellectual than me."
"I just get away with it," says Sone, with a wry smile. "Because of the perception of footballers, people would never know. I made a new year's resolution last year. I said I'd read one book a month. I read 15. This year I've read Things Fall Apart, Dan Abrahams' Soccer Tough, Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, again, and for my birthday I was given Ghana Must Go [by the acclaimed novelist Taiye Selasi]." Eniola pulls a face. "I downloaded The Chimp Paradox [by the leading sports psychiatrist Dr Steve Peters] last year and I still haven't finished it so you've embarrassed me," she says. "Honestly, he's a proper geek."
Incidentally, the Norwich v Liverpool game is reaching a non-rude climax. Follow it with Simon Burnton here.
If you were worried about the absence of Thomas Vermaelen, don't fret - he hasn't fallen down a well, or been involved in a nasty yachting accident, or suffered from waffle poisoning, he's got a minor hamstring twang.
Meanwhile, in Ligue Uuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnn....
Just look at the state of this from Dimi Berbatov. Just look at it. Outrageous.
So Mesut Ozil is back for the Arsenal. Here's a picture of him wearing a very nice coat.
Harper; Elmohamady, Chester, Davies, Rosenior; Meyler, Huddlestone, Livermore, Boyd; Jelavic, Long. Subs: Figueroa, Bruce, Koren, Fryatt, Jakupovic, Sagbo, Quinn.
Szczesny; Sagna, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal; Arteta, Ramsey; Cazorla, Ozil, Podolski; Giroud. Subs: Fabianski, Jenkinson, Flamini, Kallstrom, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Rosicky, Sanogo.
So, Arsenal. What do you do with Arsenal? Even thinking about them makes you feel like a relentlessly positive teacher in an inspirational film, sent to deal with a talented but errant pupil who isn't fulfilling their potential.
They're a side ridden with doubt, with insecurity, with the sense that daddy just isn't guiding them in the right direction anymore. And yet they're still one of the best four teams in the country. Perhaps that should say more about the rest of the Premier League than it does about Arsenal, who are doing just enough, rather than what they could be doing.
Hull on the other hand are very much fulfilling their potential, and then some. If we are to extend the school analogy, they're the kids who aren't too bright but get those Bs and Cs having bloody well worked for them. Worked hard. Grafted. Not gone out on Thursday night to drink Two Dogs with Dazza, Bazza, Wazza, Gazza, Smiffy and Ballbag, but stayed in to try and figure out Pythagoras, even though the whole thing is clearly a fiction invented by maths teachers who weren't hugged as children. So, maths teachers, then.
Steve Bruce might look like a Spitting Image puppet of Steve Bruce, but if we are to judge a manager's quality by his ability to get the best out of the talents available to them, then he is a better manager, this season anyway, than Arsene Wenger.
Hull aren't actually safe from relegation just yet, but they're in the FA Cup final and would you put a huge amount of money on Arsenal safely tucking three points into their back pockets in this one? Of course you wouldn't. Although, if you'd like to, drop me an e-mail and I'll give you my bank details.
This game should have been played on Saturday, but because of Big Bad Johnny Television, and Chelsea playing in the Champions League on Tuesday, it was shifted at fairly short notice to today, which is good news for you, sitting there, reading this, because you were probably doing something more interesting yesterday like taking a tour of a craft brewery and making 'Mmmmmm' noises and saying things like 'Yeah, that one is 'hoppier' than the last one, isn't it?' like you know what you're talking about, or water skiing, or a quiet stroll in the park. However, it's bad news for those poor whelps who made their plans at great expense to travel to Hull - Hull! - and had to either change or extend them, presumably at great expense.
Still, at least if they arrived on Sunday and stayed an extra night they had plenty to do in Hu...oh. Oh yes that's right.
Nick will be here from around 1pm.