Gary Neville's 'goalgasm' following Fernando Torres's clinching goal against Barcelona means the former Manchester United defender has joined that hallowed clique of commentators-and-pundits-who-made-a-strange-noise-when-something-exciting-happened. Push aside those Premier League medals, stick the Champions League gong on a lower shelf, membership of CAPWMASNWSEH is honour that will now surely take centre stage in Neville's trophy cabinet.

Ray Hudson provides the high-water mark in this area. Here he's either hugely excited by Iker Casillas's penalty save in the Madrid derby, has just spilled scalding hot tea on his crotch or momentarily replaced by a cartoon eagle. Here he is trapping his finger in a door just as David Villa scores against Real and here he is noticing that he's run out of milk when the tea's already mashing just as Ángel Di María goes through on goal against Vallecano.

For sheer joy it's hard to beat this Italian commentator's reaction to Fabio Grosso's winner in the World Cup semi-final against Germany in 2006, when "GOAL!" just becomes "GARRRGHHH!!!" With World Cup glory again at stake Dutch commentator Jack van Gelder at least manages to say "Dennis Bergkamp!" eight times before the dam emotion finally breaks.

Soccer Saturday is, of course, home of the goalgasm and, indeed, the shanklimax. Here's Charlie Nicholas losing the run of himself during Wigan v West Ham, and here's a goalgasm orgy as Brian Howard scores a last-minute winner for Barnsley at Anfield. And I suppose, while we're dealing with studio panels, we ought to reference Tiziano Crudeli. Boy, did that get old quick.

Sometimes, though, a noise can come, not out of excitement, but out of concern (and perhaps a touch of confusion). The legendary Bolton commentator Dave Higson provides an object lesson here, with an exasperated "Oooo" just before Brighton's equaliser against Wanderers. That he follows it up with "Scored by … I'll tell you in a minute" only adds to the moment.

Away from football, this ice hockey commentator (possibly the Gingerbread man from Shrek) is clearly very pleased that the Lewiston Maineiacs have scored a late game-winning goal. That's a scream that would grace any 60s horror film, but while that Canadian announcer is very obviously overwhelmed with happiness, it's not entirely clear whether this Spanish basketball commentator is ecstatic or utterly distraught at the end of this dramatic final 30 seconds between Real Madrid and Unicaja.

Test cricket is not often associated with individual moments of unfettered euphoria or desperate agony, with the game's appeal coming from its slow-burning story arc. So David Gower's yelp here comes only after Nasser Hussain jams a chair down on his colleague's foot. Mark Nicolas gives it the old college try here but sounds like a man who has just tasted the first forkful of a particularly scrumptious chocolate pudding rather than one in the final Neville-esque gurgles of coitus. And in the even-more-sedate world of snooker, it takes Brian Blessed to generate a little excitement.