Right, that's it from me. Stick around on site for the reports from elsewhere. Cheerio!

Well, France deserved it on the night. It was a performance good enough to eradicate the miserable showing in Kiev. If Didier Deschamps can get his side this fired up in the finals then they'll be a threat to pretty much everyone. But … they're going to have some sort of meltdown aren't they? Still, that's for another day. Right now they can enjoy a brilliant achievement.

It's all over! France are heading to Brazil!

Peep! PEEP!! PEEEEEEP!!! France have done it. Ukraine collapse to the turf. Les Bleus begin the celebrations.

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90+3 min: Tick-tock, tick-tock. Pyatov launches the ball forward, it drops to Rakitskyy … he catches the shot sweetly … hearts go into mouths … time briefly stands still … but it's straight at Lloris!

90+2 min: They're on their feet on the France bench …

90+1 min: Ribery might go to the corner flag but looks to bring the ball into the box. Echoes of Ginola in 93 for a moment, but France soon win a throw-in.

90 min: Valbuena forces a corner as France contemplate three minutes of stoppage time.

89 min: Valbeuna gets clunked in the back on halfway by Rakitskyy. It's another booking. But – mistaken identity alerty – the referee books Mandziuk instead.

88 min: … but it's flicked up and lands safely in the comfortingly meaty hands of Lloris.

87 min: Handball from Valbuena, right on the corner of the box. Très dangereux …

86 min: What a save! Or should that be 'what a miss'? Valbuena drifts in another drop-deap gorgeous free-kick. It's a free header for Giroud, five yards out … but Pyatov gets down to make the stop. The Arsenal man didn't do much wrong, but shouldn't really have given the keeper any chance.

85 min: "What's the French for 'squeaky bum time'?" wonders Justin Kavanagh. "Temps de bum qui grince," reckons Google Translate.

84 min: … it's dealt with very, very nervously by France. Rakitskyy almost gets a sight of goal but is overwhelmed by a blue flurry of defenders.

83 min: Giroud replaces Benzema. His first job is to help defender a corner …

82 min: Little in football has more embarrassment potential than the bobble. Ribery is the victim here, dropping a shoulder to throw off two defenders but then wanging his shot into the stands courtesy of the aforementioned tuft of turf.

81 min: Shevchuk and Konoplianka combine neatly on the Ukraine left, but their attack peeters out on the edge of the France box.

79 min: Pass, pass, pass, go France. Passpasspasspasspasspasspass.

78 min: That's Debuchy's final act. He comes off – to a rousing ovation – and Bakary Sagna springs from the bench.

77 min: Debuchy gets on the end of Pogba's lovely dinked ball down the right channel. Mandziuk swings a leg at his cross and connects only with Paris air, but he's relieved to see a team-mate tidy up his mess.

76 min: Zozulia off, Seleznov on for Ukraine. "Sakho will probably be on the bench for the Merseyside derby," writes my colleague Gregg Bakowski. "Nice way to bring him back down to earth."

75 min: Ukraine remain only one goal away from the World Cup – a strike in these final 15 minutes would see them win the tie on away goals.

73 min: Cabaye's curling effort from distance had been turned away by Pyatov and the resulting corner sparked that goal. Ukraine simply couldn't get the thing away.

GOAL! France 3-0 Ukraine (Sakho 73)

France lead! And it's Sakho again! I'm not sure how much he knew about it. Gusev was trying to flick away Valbuena's cross-shot and the Liverpool defender, right behind his marker, managed to deflect the ball home from five yards. France are heading to the World Cup as it stands.

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70 min: Ukraine's latest free-kick drops, after a bit of pinball in the box, to Rakitskyy. His volley isn't exactly sweetly struck but it so nearly runs kindly for Zozulia.

69 min: Foul, loose pass, tangle, foul. Foul, loose pass, tangle, foul. Foul, loose pass, tangle, foul. Foul, loose pass, tangle, foul. Foul, loose pass, tangle, foul. Foul, loose pass, tangle, foul. Foul, loose pass, tangle, foul.

68 min: Debuchy goes into the book for catching Konoplianka with his studs.

66 min: Evra brings down Yarmolenko as the Ukraine winger looks to break. He goes into the book.

65 min: Pogba dinks a cross into the box. It's cleared. Debuchy whelps a volley at goal. It's wide. France building pressure again.

63 min: Ribery's turn to scoop a shot over the bar while well placed. Gusev replaces Bezus for Ukraine.

62 min: Ribery again causes havoc, zipping into the area, but Matuidi can't get his pass under control and the half-chance bobbles away.

61 min: A lull.

59 min: Pogba turns superbly in midfield but his pass forward is poor. They've come off the boil a little (just as they did before scoring their second)

57 min: What a chance for Benzema! France worked the space beautifully and put the striker in the clear, but he scooped his effort over the bar from 10 yards out with the goal gaping.

55 min: Cabaye sand-wedges a pass towards the run of Benzema, but it's neatly intercepted. It's all got a little stop-start and scrappy again.

54 min: Rotan's turn to send a set-piece into the danger area, but Sakho gets his bonce to it.

53 min: Valbuena swings in a corner … Varane wins it, it drops back out to Valbuena. He lays the thing off to Cabaye, who curls his effort well over the bar.

51 min: Ribery again twinkle-toes his way forward, but this time his run is blocked by fair means rather than foul. Debuchy trips Konoplianka to end the attack.

50 min: I've now had photographic proof of some "pomme de route". Not the first time I've had pictures of horse droppings sent to me, but hopefully the last.

48 min: And Ukraine almost respond by nudging ahead! Bezus latches onto a ball on the edge of the box and larrups a shot just wide of Lloris's post. That was a scare for the home side.

RED CARD! Ukraine down to 10!

46 min: Ribery goes down as Khacheridi slides in with furious force as Ribery scampers down the line. The Ukraine centre-half was booked just before the break and gets a throughly warranted second yellow for that challenge, one that was frankly idiotic.

PEEP! Off we go again. On a knife-edge. And the kniffe is balancing on the back of an elephant. Riding a tiny bicycle.

Ukraine are already back in the tunnel. France making them wait.

Half-time emails

"Er, that was a penalty," reckons Ben Overlander. "Hit his arm!" Looked like it hit Debuchy square in the midriff to me.

"C'est un pomme de route," declares Craig Coyle. What's a road apple?

UPDATE: Here's Mistr Justin to explain: "Pomme de route," he writes, "is Quebecoise slang for horse shit." Every day is a school day (and most involve some sort of sweariness)

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PEEP! And that's the end of a hugely satisfying half for France. Went just about as well as they could have possible hoped.

45+2 min: … so close! with the ball bouncing about the box Yarmolenko forces in a shot which beats Lloris, but is stopped by Debuchy on the line.

45+1 min: A miserable corner is nodded out by a defender at the front post. Another chance …

45 min: A rare moment of panic in the France box as Konoplianka pops in a useful cross. The home side can't fully clear, though, and it's a Ukraine corner …

44 min: Khachiridi and Sakho both go into the book for some over-exuberant jostling in the box as we wait for another France set-piece.

42 min: By reckoning the last team to score twice against Ukraine was … France back at Euro 2012.

41 min: Brilliant one-touch stuff through midfield from the home side, but the move eventually breaks down on the edge of the Ukraine box.

39 min: Now then. Stick or twist for France? Easy one to answer really. They've got to keep this intensity up – Ukraine just can't cope with the front three.

38 min: As everyone knows, these things even themselves out over the course of the season. That was evened out over the course of six minutes.

36 min: I can only assume that the linesman did not see the final deflection on that shot. The player – I think it was Valbuena, who has been in the thick of everything tonight – had his back to the official and there was a defender behind him, so the view was very much obscured. But the Marseille man took a lot of pace of the ball. It should really have been clear enough. Ukraine went mad. And they have every right to go mad (©Barry Davies)

GOAL! France 2-0 Ukraine (Benzema 33)

France are level! Some of their football tonight has been a joy, but they needed a lucky bobble or two here. And a bit of help from the officials. A Debuchy cross causes all manner of panic and a shot from the edge of the box is deflected through to Benzema. This time he's yards offside, barely in the same arrondissement as onside, but the flag stays down and he tucks home France's second.

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31 min: GOA … no, this time it's a stunning save from Pyatov as Valbuena jabs a shot at goal. It was top corner-bound by the Shakhtar Donetsk man springs up to make a superb stop.

30 min: GOA … no, offside. Or, at least, the flag is up. Cabaye's cross-shot is bundled in by Benzema at the back post but the linesman brings a swift end to celebrations. Replays shows he was wrong, wrong, wrong.

29 min: Sakho plays a neat ball in to Matuidi, but he's crowded out by a bevvy of yellow shirts.

27 min: Ukraine corner won by Bezus. Nodded clear.

26 min: Like Derby city centre's ring road, this is all one-way traffic at the moment.

24 min: Valbuena's set pieces have been so vicious they should really be locked up in a Baltimore asylum, being visited by Clarice Starling and raving about nice bottles of chianti. Another corner causes panic here, but Ukraine survive.

GOAL! France 1-0 Ukraine (Sakho 22)

France score just as Ukraine looked to have weathered the storm. A soft free-kick on the right touchline is swung in beautifully by Valbuena and only cleared to the edge of the box. Ribery lashes the thing towards goal with thunderous fury, Pyatov does well to get down and save, but Mamadou Sakho is on hand to tuck the ball home from close range.

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20 min: Bezus looks to find a gap in the France back four, but is shepherded away. Then Edmar shanks a pass out of play.

18 min: Konoplyanka skitters past Evra and pops in a lovely cross that the French defenders do well to clear for a corner. Then there's another. And another, each one just about dealt with by the France defence.

17 min: Ribery gets himself into the box and flings himself to the deck like Riggs and Murtaugh fleeing an explosion in Lethal Weapon. Yarmolenko's challenge was a fair one, though, and Ukraine can break.

16 min: … dinked into the hands of Lloris. The foul count is running at eight – one every 120 seconds.

15 min: Sakho muscles his way through Zozulia to win a header. The Ukraine man crumples to the turf. Free-kick …

13 min: Apparently the above stream isn't working in India. I can only apologise – looks like you're stuck with me (in the nicest possible way).

12 min: Evra's cross deflects into the hands of Pyatov.

11 min: Ukraine haven't got going at all here. "Rabbits in the headlights" doesn't really fully describe their approach thus far though. There's been nothing fluffy and soft about them.

10 min: Another free-kick to France, this time it's down more to Valbuena's theatrics than Ukraine physicality. Again the set-piece finds a France noggin, Benzema on this occasion, but again the effort is off target.

9 min: A France corner, a free header for Pogba, and yelps of anguish as his effort floats yards over the bar.

8 min: Ukraine shank a miserable free-kick straight into defenders on the edge of the box, and as Ribery breaks Rotan thunders into him with a challenge that to call 'agricultural' would do a disservice to world's farmers. He goes into the book.

7 min: It feels like France need to make the most of this. Surveys suggested fans had given up on this team but there's no evidence of that so far.

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6 min: … Valbuena caresses the ball into the box, where everyone misses it and Pyatov is grateful to see the ball bounce harmlessly into his hands.

5 min: France do get a free-kick as Yarmolenko catches Ribery out on the left. Dangerous one this …

4 min: Valbuena is tripped 35 yards from goal but Skomina seems to be suffering from some sort of whistle allergy.

3 min: Ribery skips to the byline and drills in a cross that Khacheridi blocks out for a corner. And the set piece causes havoc, with Benzema thunking the ball across the six-yard line and then Valbuena forcing a superb save from Pyatov.

2 min: France get off to a whirlwind start, harassing defenders and riding the roar from the stands. Debuchy goes down on the edge of the box, but gets nothing.

PEEP! Off we go! These two teams are 90 minutes from Brazil.

Anthem time. There's a lovely TV shot of the mascots in front of the France players, all in Ukraine shirts, blasting out La Marseillaise at full volume.

Out come the players, led by Slovenian referee Damir Skomina. That catchy World Cup qualifying theme tune blares out. You know the one – sounds like the lost end credits music of some brilliant mid 80s TV adventure game.

The Stade de France is awash with Tricolours. It's a tremendous sight. French fans of a certain vintage, and the younger ones who know their history, will be well aware that this could go either way. For every Thierry Henry v Ireland, there is an Emil Kostadinov:

So it's all change for France. A new centre-back pairing of Sakho and Varane, a new forward line featuring Valbuena and Benzema. Will it be enough?

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The teams are in

France: Lloris, Debuchy, Varane, Sakho, Evra, Pogba, Matuidi, Cabaye, Valbuena, Ribery, Benzema. Subs: Giroud, Nasri, Clichy, Grenier, Sagna, Mandanda, Payet, Sissoko, Remy, Mavuba, Abidal, Landreau.

Ukraine: Pyatov, Khacheridi, Yarmolenko, Zozulia, Konoplyanka, Shevchuk, Rotan, Bezus, Mandzyuk, Rakitskiy, Edmar. Subs: Dedechko, Tymoschuk, Khomchenovskiy, Stepanenko, Gusev, Seleznov, Fedorchuk, Moroziuk, Sydorchuk, Devic, Khudzhamov.

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Preamble

Bonsoir and, indeed, Доброго вечора. Welcome to live typed coverage of a match that your eyes can see for themselves just a few inches above here. The phrase "Having a dog and barking yourself" springs to mind. Nevertheless I'll be on hand to offer insights to anyone living outside the UK and, for some as yet unexplained reason, Thailand who cannot watch our live stream.

France are in a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you got a moment, it's a 12-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour portage, and an enormous sign on the roof, saying 'This Is a Large Crisis'. A thoroughly uninspiring but largely not-particularly-embarrassing qualifying campaign saw them finish, as expected, as runners-up to Spain in Group H. Then came the debacle in Kiev, where Didier Deschamps side made a right old l'oreille de porc of it. Much of the rest of the football world looked on with eyebrows knowingly raised and a look of mild amusement creeping onto the lips.

But before the neutral gets too excited about this gallic götterdämmerung, we should remember that their failure to overturn the first leg deficit will mean the presence in the World Cup of a side who built their qualifying campaign on being tighter at the back than a spandex cummerbund and scored only 11 of their 28 goals in Group H in the eight games against sides not called San Marino. They were also at least 50% responsible for this, a match up there with "Three pints of Old Bob and a large Sunday lunch with all the trimmings" when it comes to sleep inducement.

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