So well done to England for winning Euro 2012 last night. Congratulations, everybody.

Back to the grind of the club scene, then. And Milan are interested in Liverpool goalkeeper Pepe Reina, who last came off his line sometime during the 2008-09 season.

Louis Saha is 33! When did that happen? The Rumour Mill clearly hasn't been paying attention. Anyway, he's the subject of a tug of love between Sunderland boss Martin O'Neill and West Ham supremo Sam Allardyce. A tug of love involving Sam Allardyce. It's just as well the Rumour Mill has a strong stomach, has eaten a hearty breakfast and wasn't out drinking heavily last night.

Tottenham Hotspur are after a manager with a coherent long-term plan for the first time since 1958. It's a toss-up between André Villas-Boas and Laurent Blanc. We're absolutely not riffing on the theme of the last entry, no matter how desperate we are for a payoff to this one.

The aforementioned West Ham United are also after goalscoring sensation Grant Holt of 2011's Norwich City. Any deal would soothe the searing pain of losing out to Reading for Sochaux-Montbéliard striker Modibo Maïga.

Has Hulk not moved to Chelsea yet? We were pretty sure that happened a fortnight ago. Anyway, he's still up for it. Breaking news, as it happens. Bosh!

Newcastle United will have to double their £8m bid for FC Twente's Dutch striker Luuk de Jong de Kuyt de nos jours.

José Bosingwa doesn't have a job any more, so Barcelona may have to do.

And Barcelona are also hoping to sign Athletic Bilbao defender Javi Martínez, but will make do with either Thomas Vermaelen or David Luiz if they can't get him. David Luiz. Apparently they are deadly serious about this. Aye.