Football transfer rumours: Manchester United in for Alvaro Vadillo?

Today's flim-flam is making some calls

by Scott Murray 8 months ago

In the early hours of Tuesday morning, Andy Murray became the first British man to win a major tennis championship since 1936. The week having thus started with the history books being rewritten, it's now bookended with a makeover for all the dictionaries too. Rip the old ones up, folks, and burn 'em like it's 1933! For until this morning, this was the dictionary definition of futile:

futile adj. 1. having no effective result, unsuccessful; 2. pointless, unimportant, trifling; 3. inane or foolish

But now we present the all-new version: this Rumour Mill, which contains nothing but news of moves that aren't going to happen.

Arsenal have denied reports suggesting they'll snatch Didier Drogba from Shanghai Shenhua. Liverpool and Real Madrid are two other clubs who have signally failed to declare an interest in the former Chelsea striker.

Liverpool are not interested in Swansea City keeper Michel Vorm either, nor do they want current penalty-area incumbent Pepe Reina to leave. Furthermore, Reina's agent has been out doing the rounds to insist his client, who hasn't been linked with anyone, is staying put.

Manchester United have been linked with young Real Betis winger New Cristiano Ronaldo, also known as Alvaro Vadillo, but Betis are unwilling to sell, and anyway United are still more interested in Old Cristiano Ronaldo and therefore don't care too much.

And Fulham have been keeping tabs on Sinan Bolat, but the Standard Liège goalkeeper is currently recovering from knee surgery and so their interest is far from concrete.

Sorry, x§! Apologies, Collins! But this is new terrain, uncharted territory, the modern world.

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