Brendan Rodgers has some more names in his magic envelopes, only this time it's not for the purpose of perfecting his David Brent impression. Emboldened by the canny signings of Daniel Sturridge and Philippe Coutinho in January, the Liverpool boss plans to tell his board that he needs even more new players in the summer if they're ever going to catch the "Manchester lot" and he'll get the guitar out if necessary. On his shortlist are Newcastle's Hatem Ben Arfa, Blackpool's Tom Ince, Paris St-Germain's Kévin Gameiro, Swansea's Ashley Williams and the Feyenoord defender Stefan de Vrij. The only stumbling block for Rodgers is Liverpool's board not understanding his presentation, which will be a heady mix of poetry, jazz and philosophy.
Monaco, who are managed by cuddly Claudio Ranieri, have joined the race for Wayne Rooney, telling the Manchester United striker's camp that they are ready "to blow their rivals out of the water" with a massive transfer fee and a tax-free wage. Maybe Rooney will be able to buy a nice jet like man of the people, Lewis Hamilton. Meanwhile United's hopes of signing Cristiano Ronaldo have been hit after everyone remembered that they're owned by the Glazers. Also Ronaldo's agent Jorge Mendes has told him to stay at Real Madrid, so that's that then.
Zenit St Petersburg have decided they've had enough of their manager, Luciano Spalletti after they flopped in the Champions League despite spending £64m on Hulk and Axel Witsel. No matter, because they've got just the man to bring them success in Europe after spending a shedload of cash: Roberto Mancini! That's not a joke, that's the actual rumour. Honest. They'll move for Mancini if he's sacked by City in the summer, after they flopped in the Champions League despite spending a load of money. The Mill can't be the only one who's spotted the fatal flaw in this idea.
In other manager news, Reading are thinking about trying to tempt Gus Poyet away from Brighton, although Paolo Di Canio, Roberto Di Matteo and Nigel Adkins are also still in the frame. Apparently Alan Curbishley is in with a shout too, but it's just so comfy in the Sky Sports News studio. To be fair, who would you rather work with every day, Noel Hunt or Jim White?
Arsenal are going to sell another one of their players this summer. It's just force of habit now. Juventus and Atlético Madrid reckon £15m will get them Lukas Podolski, who only arrived at the Emirates last summer. Then again, he was a ridiculous signing in the first place, so for once Arsenal probably won't be losing any sleep over losing one of their players. It's not like when Emmanuel Eboué left.
Elsewhere in north London, Tottenham's hopes of signing João Moutinho have been boosted after Porto told the midfielder he can leave in the summer, although Manchester United and Chelsea are also interested, while Manchester City are contemplating a move for the UAE striker Omar Abdulrahman and West Brom's manager, Steve Clarke, has been off to Holland to have a look at the Vitesse Arnhem right-back Tomas Kalas, currently on loan from Chelsea.
Finally Fernando Torres has rejected a move to Anzhi Makhachkala. He's not done trolling Chelsea yet. Not until he's in one of Rodgers' envelopes.