Quotation marks are the purveyor of tittle-tattle’s friend. For example: the Mill is “hugely popular” and has “tons of friends” thanks to its “washboard abs” and “charming” personality. Good old quotation marks.

To that end, Manchester United are “willing to spend up to £100m” on Ángel Di María according to reports in the tabloids today. The Argentinian is Louis van Gaal’s No1 target, reckons the Mail, though quite how the Real Madrid man would fit into his preferred 3-5-2 isn’t exactly clear.

One man who would slot into that nicely is Marcos Rojo. To land the Sporting full-back, a team-mate of Di María in the Argentina national side, United are willing to offer Nani as part-exchange, though you think they might get batter value from webuyanywinger.com.

And in a busy week for Van Gaal, United have “reignited” their interest in Roma midfielder Kevin Strootman and turned their attention to his team-mate, “defender” Philippe Mexes.

Meanwhile at the Emirates, Arsenal are “closing in” on Chile forward Eduardo Vargas. Napoli are prepared to let him leave on loan, because they’ve pipped Swansea in the “battle” to sign Jonathan de Guzmán. Also swapping Serie A for the Premier League is Lazio midfielder Álvaro González. Southampton’s Ronald Koeman is “eyeing an £8m bid”.

Everton are keen on the latest young striker to emerge fully formed from Crewe’s fabled production line. Max Clayton has caught the eye of Roberto Martínez, though he faces “competition” from Sunderland and Wolves.

Juventus want Radamel Falcao to replace the Valencia-bound Fernando Llorente. Which is nice.

Harry Redknapp certainly won’t be doing any “wheeling and dealing” this week, but he will be “signing some players and selling some players”, which, of course, is entirely different. Tottenham’s Lewis Holtby is one of the names on Redknapp’s shopping list. And so is Andros Townsend, though Spurs are ready to tell Southampton to do one with their £10m bid.

In managerial transfer news, Crystal Palace hope to appoint a replacement for Tony Pulis by Wednesday. Malky Mackay, Steve Clarke and Roberto Di Matteo are all “in the frame” but Tim Sherwood heads the list after “impressing in preliminary discussions”.