Peep! Peep! Peeeeeeep! It's all over and England have notched up a morale-boosting win against Brazil; only their fourth in 24 attempts against the five-times World Cup winners. They've played very well tonight and can take heart from many aspects of this performance, but there's plenty of room for improvement too. A defensive lapse shortly after half-time cost them dearly, while they were lucky to get away with another one moments later.
But there were plenty of positives too - Jack Wilshere and theo Walcott were a constant source of irritation for the Brazilian defence, while Mr Roy's experimental midfield triangle of Stepehen Gerrard sitting back while Wilshere and Tom Cleverley were given to licence to roam worked well. Kudos is also due to Joe Harte, who had an excellent game that was in stark contrast to some of his comparatively awful recent England performances.
90+1 min: Wayne Rooney presses high up the field, pressurising Dante and appealing for a corner when the ball is prodded out of play. None is forthcoming. Dan the must be wondering what the devil is going on there, with an opposition player pressurising him down near his own bye-line this late in a friendly.
89 min: With that infuriating England supporters' band, who are by all accounts nice fellows, but a blight on the game of international football in this country, play The GHreat Escape over and over again, Brazil go forward again in search of an equaliser. None is forthcoming.
88 min: England midfielder Jack Wilshere is announced as the man of the match over the PA and rightly so. He's put in a great shift tonight.
87 min: Neymar gets the better of Chris Smalling, galloping in behind the centre-half and passing towards Fred, but to no avail. That Burkina Faso win, I'm hearing, was in spite rather than because of one of the most inept refereeing performances in the history of tournament football.
This just in ...
83 min: Marvellous interplay between Oscar and Lucas (no, not the Liverpool one), who charges into the England penalty area and lays the ball off to Fred, who fires off a shot while off balance and falls to the ground looking anguished after seeing his effort sliced wide.
80 min: Felipe Luis gallpos down the left wing in a bid to latch on to a splendid Miranda pass from deep. Glen Johnson intervenes and takes the pressure off England. They're holding their shape well here.
Brazil substitution: David Luiz off, Miranda on. Miranda, Fred and Jean among the substitutes to have taken to the field for Brazil - not exactly names likely to strike terror into the hearts of their opposition.
England substitution: Theo Walcott makes way for Aaron Lennon.
Brazil substitution I forgot to mention earlier: Filipe Luis on for Adriano.
72 min: Theo Walcott tries to play a one-two with Frank Lampard inside the penalty area, but runs into Dante as he tries to pick up the return pass. The idea was excellent, but the execution let them down.
69 min: From the left touchline, Leighton Baines sends in an absolutely splendid low cross, which results in the ball bouncing through the corridor of uncertainty between goalkeeper Cesar and his defenders Dante and Jean. Sadly for England, Theo Walcott can't quite poke it home, with the ball remaining tantalisingly out of reach as he tries to get a toe on it and divert it goalwards.
67 min: Fred and Neymar exchange passes on the edge of the England penalty area and the man with the boy-band haircut attempts to become the second player to beat Joe Hart with an overhead kick in consecutive internationals. His effort is admirable but unsuccessful.
64 min: Brazil go forward in search of an equaliser, but a poor touch from Neymar, who's had a poor game this evening (the accusations of big game bottling start here!), gifts possession to Joe Hart.
England substitution: James Milner on for Danny Welbeck.
Brazil substitution: Jean on for Paulinho.
GOAL! England 2-1 Brazil (Lampard 59) The ball is prodded towards the feet of Frank Lampard on the edge of the Brazil penalty area when a Brazil defender is caught napping. With his first touch he steers the ball goalwards. It hits the angle of upright and crossbar and bounces down and over the line.
57 min: Theo Walcott skins Adriano down the inside right channel and pulls the ball across the face of goal. The ball is cleared, but only as far as Wilshere, who plays it into the path of Steven Gerrard, who shoots over the bar from about 20 yards. Decent effort - England have regained their composure after their early second half wobble.
55 min: England take their finger off the self-destruct button for long enough to win a corner, courtesy of Leighton Baines. Steven Gerrard swings the ball in from the left and Gary Cahill manages to evade the rugby tackle of his Chelsea team-mate David Luiz to shoulder the ball goalwards. Close, but no cigar. If he'd got his head to that, he'd probably have scored. Luiz's marking was risible and we all know how good Cahill can be in the air.
48 min: Yikes! This is the England we're more accustomed to seeing, as another defensive rick - this time it's Chris Smalling who gets caught in possession - almost gifts Fred a second. With the ball at his feet the Brazilian substitute curls a great chance narrowly wide, sparing the defender's blushes in the process.
GOAL! England 1-1 Brazil (Fred 47) Gary Cahill tries to run the ball out of defence, only to be dispossessed by, I think Neymar, about 40 yards from his own goal. The ball ricochets into the path of Fred, who advances and rifles a low drive past Joe Hart from the edge of the England penalty area. That's shocking defending from Gary Cahill.
46 min: Early in the second half and England spurn a chance to double their lead. From the edge of the penalty area on the right-hand side, Steven Gerrard's dipping shot bounces just in front of Julio Cesar, who can only parry the ball into the path of Jack Wilshere, but he pokes it wide under pressure from a defender.
England substitutions: Leighton Baines for Ashley Cole, Frank Lampard for Tom Cleverley.
Brazil substitutions: Fred for Fabiano, Lucas for Ronaldinho, Arouca for Ramires.
In what is almost certain to be a futile attempt to prevent a deluge of angry correspondence from angry Liverpool fans, I should point out that by saying I didn't recall typing Steven Gerrard's name once in the first half, I wasn't having a go at him or his performance. He's on sentry duty tonight, sitting back in front of the back four while Cleverley and Wilshere go forward in search of mischief. Players in that role rarely get much of a look-in as far as minute-by-minute reports are concerned.
An email from Paula Padilha ...
"The way Julio Cesar has had to work so far makes me feel like I'm watching Englad v QPR," she writes. Yup, you've got to feel sorry for poor old Julio - he was probably hoping tonight would be a bit more relaxing than the customary hectic grind of his day job.
Some idle half-time observations ...
• Danny Welbeck has looked hopelessly out of his depth
• I can't remember typing Stephen Gerrard's name once in that half
• The England brass band are incredibly annoying.
• Many football writers who should know better will be getting way too excited Jack Wilshere's performance this evening.
• He's playing very well, but has a lot to learn.
45 min:Brazil go forward, but their sortie is stopped in its tracks by a shrill peep on the referee's whistle. England go in a goal to the good at the interval, with Roy Hodgson's deviation away from the prehistoric 4-4-2 to an attack-minded 4-1-2-3 having yielded the only score of the game thus far. It's been a fairly evenly matched game thus far, but the ease with which both defences have been carved open time and again will be a source of concern for both managers.
44 min: Julio Cesar parries the ball wide to his left after having his palms stung by a low drive from Theo Walcott, who was shooting from a tight angle.
42 min: Wilshere charges forward, but runs down a blind alley and is enveloped by a pocket of defenders on the edge of the Brazil penalty area. The ball breaks to Rooney, who sends a rasping drive fizzing a foot or two wide of the left upright.
37 min: Another sensational delivery from Oscar, who skins Ashley Cole for pace down the right wing and curls in an inch-perfect cross for Neymar. Scoring should have been a formality for the Brazilian, but he somehow contrives to slide in and poke the ball wide. Having singularly failed to deliver against England for 38 minutes, the only conclusion we can draw is that all the fuss surrounding the youngster is clearly hype and he's obviously nowhere near as good as he's been cracked up to be. Call it the Zlatan Paradox - unless you've performed against England, you're clearly rubbish, despite all availbale evidence to the contrary.
36 min: "Why should anybody bother emailing you at all if you're just going to be obtuse and dismissive no matter what we say?" asks Matthew H, who should go away.
33 min: Theo Walcott runs straight into David Luiz after sent on his way into the Brazil penalty area by a short pass from Tom Cleverley.
30 min: Theo Walcott picked up a knock in the build-up to the England goal and requires treatment. I'm not sure what's wrong with him, but he looks fit enough to continue for the time being.
27 min: Jack Wilshere deserves immense credit there, for the marvellous defence-splitting pass which sent Theo Walcott on his way in the build-up to the goal. He proves it was no fluke by providing another one for Walcott moments after Brazil restart the game, and the Arsenal player beats Dante and Alves, before unsuccessfully trying to square the ball.
GOAL! England 1-0 Brazil (Rooney 26) Wayne Rooney opens the scoring for England after being on hand to slot the ball into the Brazil goal from the edge of the penalty area after Julio Cesar had parried a Theo Walcott effort into his path.
25 min: The ball breaks kindly for Glen Johnson on the edge of the Brazil box and he shoots over.
23 min: Going back to that Brazil penalty - it was actually Neymar who was denied while trying to follow-up and score from the rebound and he should have won a penalty too, as Tom Cleverley dived in from behind to upend him without getting anywhere near the ball.
21 min: From a fairly narrow angle, Danny Welbeck skies a right-footed effort over the bar after being played in behind the Brazil defence by Jack Wilshere. If he'd gone with his left foot there he'd have had a better chance of scoring, but under pressure from two Brazil defenders who were sliding in to intercept his shot, he snatched at it too early with his favoured foot.
RONALDINHO MISSES THE PENALTY Having won the spot-kick, Ronaldinho proceeds to miss it, shooting rather tamely towards the bottom right-hand corner, where Joe Hart does superbly to get down and save. Hart can only the parry the ball a couple of yards in front of himself and to the right, but does splendidly to get back on his feet and block Ronaldinho's follow-up under pressure from Tom Cleverley.
PENALTY FOR BRAZIL: Ronaldinho tries to cross into the England penalty area and Jack Wilshere blocks the ball with his arm on the edge of the penalty area. It's a spot-kick for the visitor.
16 min: Award-winning Guardian photographer and Frank Skinner lookalike Tom Jenkins is at Wembley tonight, snapping away like an angry crocodile. You can view the fruits of his labours by clicking on this link.
14 min: England go forward, with Gary Cahill picking out Tom Cleverley in his spot out on the right wing. He turns and sets off goalwards, but runs down a blind alley and moments later England win a throw-in on the far side of the pitch, somewhere around the edge of the final third.
11 min: Brazil get in behind England's defence again and after a lightning fast exchange of passes between Oscar, Neymar and Luis Fabiano, Neymar shoots high over the bar from distance when perhaps a pass to a team-mate would have been the better option.
9 min: From a corner, Wayne Rooney steals a yard in the box and brings a marvellous one-handed reflex save out of Julio Cesar with a header from six yards out. The goalkeeper's heroics are in vain as the whistle is blown and Brazil win a free-kick. Replays show Rooney had shoved his marker in the back in the process of stealing that yard.
8 min: More good play from Oscar, who picks up the ball on the right flank and tries to drill a 25 yard pass along the deck between Ashley Cole and Chris Smalling for Luis Fabiano to chase. Smalling is alert to the danger and is able to intervene.
5 min: Neymar spins away from Gary Cahill to get in behind the England defence and chase down a marvellous Oscar pass from deep. The Brazilian's first touch is poor, however, and allows Cahill to get back and clear up at the back. You can see the whites of Cahill's eyes already - this could be a very long night for him.
4 min: Neymar and Ronaldinho exchange passes as they gallop down the right flank, but Gary Cahill slides in to dispossess the younger of the Brazilian duo before he can control the return pass. A corner for Brazil.
2 min: Dante clattered into Jack Wilshere as he made that pass to Rooney, but the Arsenal midfielder is OK. England go on to win a second corner on the back of a loose pass from the Brazilian defender.
1 min: We're off and England go close to taking a very early lead as Jack Wilshere plays the ball through the centre for Wayne Rooney to chase. His effort is put wide for a corner, from which nothing comes.
An email from Andrew M
"To argue that friendlies are a waste of time for international teams is like saying that sparring is a waste for boxers," he says, comparing apples and oranges. "It might not be as interesting for the spectators or even the participants, but it's important," he continues, failing to explain why it's important, or how 22 players half-heartedly going through the motions is in any way similar to two boxers leathering the bejaysus out of each other in a gym.
It's time for the minute's silence ...
And as is depressingly customary at Wembley Stadium, there are a clearly audible handful of morons who roar and shout their way through it.
It's national anthem time
Brazil's jaunty Hino Nacional Brasileiro gets the crowd going and is promptly followed by God save the Queen, a comparatively portentous dirge. Then again, Block Rockin' Beats by The Chemical Brothers would sound like a comparatively portentous dirge when played after the Brazil national anthem.
Not long now ...
The teams emerge from the Wembley tunnel and line up, with Sir Bobby Charlton and FA chairman David Bernstein being introduced to both sets of players, then congregate alongside a little plinth containing a glass case containing a golden cap, which will be presented to Stephen Gerrard, who won his 100th cap against Sweden last November. Engl;and's record cap-holder Peter Shilton (125 caps) presents him with ther commemorative headwear. Moments previously, Ronaldinho was presented with a commemorative Brazil jersey for winning his 100th cap, on this the occasion of his, er, 95th official appearance for Brazil.
England v Brazil - line-ups
England: Hart, Johnson, Cahill, Smalling, Cole, Cleverley,
Gerrard, Wilshere, Walcott, Rooney, Welbeck
Subs: Walker, Butland, Baines, Jagielka, Lescott, Milner, Lampard, Osman, Lennon, Oxlade-Chamberlain.
Brazil: Julio Cesar, Dani Alves, Luiz, Dante, Adriano,
Paulinho, Ramires, Ronaldinho, Neymar, Luis Fabiano, Oscar.
Subs: Diego Alves, Filipe Luis, Leandro Castan, Miranda, Arouca,
Jean, Lucas Moura, Fred, Hulk.
Referee: Pedro Proenca (Portugal)
Still no teams on the wires ...
Gah! You don't expect me to type them out myself, do you? Four of the Brazilian starting XI go by christian name and surname. See for yourself: Julio Cesar, Dani Alves, David Luiz, Dante, Adriano, Paulinho, Ramires, Neymar, Oscar, Ronaldinho, Luis Fabianoi.
An email from Duncan S
"Does a cynic such as yourself get instructions from on high to be upbeat about occasions such as this, or is your potential antipathy for England and friendlies here to stir up controversy?" he asks.
Thanks for the mail, Duncan. To be honest, I'm not sure which is more amusing, the notion that high level Guardian meetings are staged on a regular basis in which very important people debate who should write which minute-by-minute report and why, or the notion that anyone who thinks international friendlies are almost always a waste of time is a cynic.
Roy Keane gets a reducer in early doors.
On ITV, presenter Adrian Chiles kicks off by telling pundit Roy Keane that he never really had him down as a samba boy. "I did used to play the game I didn't just go around kicking people," says Keane, by way of reply. Chiles 0-1 Keane.
Hart; Johnson, Cole, Cahill, Smalling, Gerrard, Walcott, Wilshere, Cleverley,Rooney, Welbeck.
I'll bring you the teams in full just as soon as they pitch up on the source of all copy-and-paste fun that are the news wires.
England team news we've pulled from the wires
Jack Wilshere is named in an England starting line-up alongside Steven Gerrard for the first time as Roy Hodgson's men begin a year they hope will end in World Cup qualification with a Wembley friendly against hosts Brazil.
The partnership has been two-and-a-half years in the making given Wilshere made his debut in August 2010, only for injury to rule either him or Gerrard out of action. The pair did eventually find themselves on the same pitch last November, although they had only 13 minutes together before Gerrard was substituted.
On the 55th anniversary of the Munich tragedy, Hodgson selects four Manchester United players, with Chris Smalling and Tom Cleverley joining attacking duo Danny Welbeck and Wayne Rooney.
With Theo Walcott also selected, it appears Hodgson is meeting the most adventurous side in world football with attacking intent. As Hodgson confirmed yesterday, Ashley Cole becomes the seventh player to win 100 England caps, a feat made even more remarkable by the fact he has started every single game.
Remembering the fallen
There'll be a minute's silence ahead of kick-off tonight, in memory of those who lost their lives in the Munich air disaster 55 years ago today and more recently, the 235 people who perished in the dreadful nightclub fire in Santa Maria, Rio Grande do Sul, last month.
Good evening one and all
A friendly international that's bordering on the mouth-watering, eh? Who'd a thunk it? But that's what you get when Brazil come to town to help celebrate 150 uninterrupted years of what some might say has been often bumbling ineptitude and bureaucracy at FA HQ.
But let's not lose the run of ourselves altogether. Despite the talent on show this Brazilian side is a team managed by Luiz Felipe Scolari, a big cuddly man who has always been more Yogi Bear than Joga Bonito, preferring substance over style throughout his managerial career. This is his first match in charge since his reappointment and be under no illusion that he has been drafted in ahead of World Cup 2014 to turn this team into winners. If they can pull off a few step-overs en route to victory, so much the better - but rest assured, any players who Big Phil considers to be faffing around unnecessarily will get very short shrift.
Tonight's match could prove a fascinating contest with several intriguing sub-plots: the kind of reception the often unfairly maligned Ashley Cole will receive on the occasion of his 100th cap, the return of Scolari to London after his dismissal as Chelsea manager, the resumption of Jack Wilshere and Steven Gerrard's midfield partnership in England's central midfield after a brief taster in Stockholm last November and the prospect of seeing Santos superstar Neymar strut his stuff.
There's been plenty of fascinating blather in the build-up to this evening's match, much of it published in the Guardian. So, as you wait for the team news, why not catch up on some of it?
Here's our chief football writer Daniel Taylor on how tonight's match offers England manager Roy Hodgson the opportunity to boost (or potentially destroy) his players' confidence ahead of a crunch World Cup qualifier against Montenegro, while Barney Ronay has been busily comforting Big Phil, who claims he is still hurting at having to turn down the England job upon being offered it several years ago. With Ashley Cole becoming an England centurion tonight, Dominic Fifield has been waxing lyrical on how the classy left-back is both a phenomenon and a largely unloved enigma and Paul Campbell has been rummaging around in the Guardian vaults, from where he emerged coughing, spluttering and covered in dust, but brandishing this account of the mercurial Ronaldinho chip that settled the last competitive match between these two sides.