As with half-time, the final whistle is accompanied by boooooooooos and disappointment. This was supposed to be their tournament but the country will remember it for all the wrong reasons. The players are in the middle of the pitch and the look shell-shocked. Holland, by contrast, look happy enough. Robben waves to the camera and smiles like a player who has got himself a bronze medal, which, of course, he has. Good for them. There is one more game to go but that's all from me for tonight. Thanks for all the emails, tweets and opinions – sorry if I didn't get around to using yours. Enjoy the rest of your weekend and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Bye!
Full-time: Brazil 0-3 Holland
90 + 4 mins There are five additional minutes to play by the way and Vorm has come on for Cillessen.
Robben ambles down the right, stops and passes to Janmaat on the overlap. Near the end line, he cuts the ball back for Wijnaldum and he hits the ball home easily enough from inside the area.
Goal!!! Brazil 0-3 Holland (Wijnaldum)
And another one.
90 mins Clasie has hurt himself and is replaced by Arsenal target Veltman.
89 mins "There is one positive for Brazil tonight," says John Muir. "The kit man is on point with Hulk's shorts this time."
87 mins From that clearance, Holland do what they do best, counter with speed. They eventually win a corner. Robben swings it in from the right and César rises above the rest to almost punch the ball into his own net. It should be a corner. It is a goalkick. More poor refereeing. Sigh.
85 mins A free-kick to Brazil wide on their right, near the corner flag. Hulk takes it and Wijnaldum – who, like Vlaar, has also been excellent of late – clears it.
82 mins Maxwell takes down De Vrij on the half-way line. The Dutchman smiles. He knows. Holland play the ball around their own half, before launching it long towards Robben. In the box, he takes the ball down on his chest but is nudged in the back by Fernandinho. He wants a penalty. Van Gaal wants a penalty. They do not get it.
80 mins No! And you can blame Nigel de Jong for that.
77 mins Brazil pour forward like a burst of early morning sunlight. Hulk has the ball at his feet and he looks to cut inside and hit one for the top corner. Luckily for those of us who do not want extra-time, the ever impressive Vlaar – where will he be next season? – steps in and nicks the ball off his toe.
75 mins There is still one Brazil fan in the house. Step forward Nicholas. "Brazil are still my second team. All of those emailing you never supported Brazil because they were against them from the day they got that penalty against Croatia. Brazil still made it to the semi-final, and that's still pretty good last I checked."
72 mins Ramires follows Blind off the pitch. Hulk follows Janmaat on. He wins a corner for his team right away. It goes short to Willian. He goes long to the back post. Too long.
70 mins Blind really hurt himself in that challenge and that is the end of the game for him. Janmaat comes on to replace him.
68 mins David Luiz wrestles Robben to the ground and awards the free-kick to Brazil. Yeah, I know. Anyway. Brazil play the free-kick forward and the after a pass or three, the ball comes to Oscar inside the box. He looks to shift the ball past Blind but knees collide and Oscar hits the turf. The referee does not hesitate and p
oints to the spot gives Oscar a yellow for diving. Replays show that to be the incorrect decision.
65 mins Matt Dony has been in touch. "Even when they've had workmanlike teams rather than the traditional flair, Brazil have been likeable and decent, and still had some magic about them. Growing up, they always seemed like a real-world Harlem Globetrotters. Have these two games undone the mystique? Is that all it's taken to kill the myth of 'Brazil'? I don't think tiki taka is dead, but is the whole 'Joga Bonita' ideology on the way out?"
63 mins A chance for David Luiz to redeem himself. Brazil have a free-kick – thanks to a silly foul by Blind – just outside the box, right in the centre of the pitch. The defender aims and shoots and finds the hands of Cillessen.
60 mins Ramires gets the ball with his back to goal and pirouettes like a Russian ballerina. Some quick feet, the type of quick feet that would have Tony Manero nodding in appreciation, sees him find some space. He flashes his shot – can you flash a shot? – just wide of Cillessen's right post.
58 mins Hernanes quotes passages from the Bible to his team-mates before matches. He is known as The Prophet. He has also just taken Robben right out of it and somehow gets away without the flash of yellow in his face.
57 mins Off goes Paulinho and on comes Hernanes.
54 mins Fernandinho gets industrial on Van Persie (and his knee) and gets a yellow card for his troubles. Holland have a free-kick wide on the left. The players are in the box, expecting the ball to be hoicked in the area but the Dutch go short and chose to keep hold of the ball.
52 mins "You’d only have a second favourite team if they inspired admiration or joy or excitement or romance or something interesting like that" states Paul Lobban. "The current Brazil team are utterly joyless. We don’t need another joyless South American team, that’s what Argentina are for."
50 mins Brazil take a short corner and waste it. Holland counter via Robben and Fernandinho takes him down just inside the Brazil half. Robben takes the resulting free-kick quick and short to Blind. He returns the pass and Robben squeezes through two Brazil defenders. On the edge of the area, his shot is blocked and it loops to the back post. Wijnaldum is at the back post looking to nod it in but he is offside.
48 mins "At the risk of over-simplifying," risks Fergus Carroll, "many people appear to have been turned off Brazil because they aren't a particularly good or entertaining team. Probably why so many jumped on the Colombia bandwagon instead." That and Ham-es' hair.
46 mins Brazil get an early attack down the left. It looks promising but Maxwell spoils the party by forgetting he was playing, drifting off to sleep and being caught offside.
45 mins We are back and we have a change to tell you about. Fernandinho is on for Luiz Gustavo.
Before you think about that, read this by Arnaud Réveillon. "Regarding whether there is penalty or not, here is the rule: 'If a defender starts holding an attacker outside the penalty area and continues holding him inside the penalty area, the referee must award a penalty kick.'" So it should have been a penalty – as it looked to me like he was still holding in the box – and it should have been a red card. Sorted, yeah?
Half-time question for you. Brazil used to be everyone's second favourite side. No more, alas, no more. But why is that? Is it the cult of Neymar worshiping? Is it the fairly turgid football? Is it Fred's moustache? Do holler, folks, do holler.
Half-time: Brazil 0-2 Holland
Nothing more to report here so that's your lot for now. As soon as the whistle goes, so do the boooooooooos from the home crowd. Back in a few minutes.
45 mins There is two more minutes until we all get a well-deserved break.
43 mins Vlaar takes down Ramires on the edge of the box, right in the centre of the pitch. Cillessen lines up his wall. David Luiz stands behind it as does Oscar. The Chelsea man fails to beat said wall.
41 mins Back to the penalty for a second folks. "The red card should have been obvious other than the fact that no Brazilian will get red this tournament" says João André. "On the other hand, no way it was a penalty. The foul started a good yard away from the box." I have yet to see a replay of this folks – the speed of MBMs means you only see things once – but is João right?
39 mins Kuyt gets a nasty blow to head. The staple gun is out.
37 mins Hasn't David Luiz always been bad but we just let him away with it because he seems like a decent chap?
Meanwhile, De Guzmán gets Holland's second yellow card of the game after a robust tackles on Oscar. That leads to a free-kick and moments later the same player gives away another one. This one is near the corner flag and Oscar sends it in with pace once more. At the front post, Luiz Gustavo gets a glance on it and that takes it away from the various outstretched body parts of the Brazilians haring in on goal.
34 mins Maicon gets the ball from Willian at the corner of the box. Wijnaldum puts the boot in and Maicon does a dive looking for a penalty. It's never that, but it is a free-kick. Oscar takes it with pace and Wijnaldum – I think – lets it hit off his back and go out for the first corner of the game. Brazil do nothing with it.
32 mins The Brazilian fans are Mexican-waving. They are going to have more fun doing that then watching this match.
29 mins It was almost three. Robben finds space on the right and sets up De Guzmá on the edge of the area. He shoots for home but his effort misses by this much.
28 mins Oscar goes for a walk down the right-hand side and is stopped in his tracks by Martins Indi. A free-kick it is on the edge of the box. Oscar takes and Silva rises but his header is miles wide.
26 mins David Luiz has the ball at the back in his own half and he is under no pressure whatsoever. He boots it forward and right into the hands of Cillessen. People say Jô and Fred should never play for Brazil but the PSG man cannot be far behind.
23 mins Paulinho gives a free-kick away on the right. The Dutch could aim it in long into the box but opt to play piggy-in-the-middle and raise the ire of the crowd. Kuyt eventually effs it up by ballooning the ball out of play.
20 mins You have to laugh really. Unless you are Brazilian, of course. Meanwhile, Oscar swerved his way into space outside the Dutch box and aimed an effort on goal. Cillessen dealt with it easily enough.
Another goal, another example of why PSG will be searching for the receipt for David Luiz. Robben picked the ball up outside the box, looked up and played a short, sharp pass to De Guzmán on the right. He had enough time and space to look up and lob the ball in the box. Once there it reached the head of our resident defending hero. He could have head it over the bar and away from any danger but instead he chose to head backwards – he was facing the goal – and into the path of Blind. The Dutchman controlled the ball and hit the same spot as Van Persie did with his penalty.
Goal!!! Brazil 0-2 Holland (Blind)
What are the odds on 7-1?
13 mins Ramires gets the ball at the corner of the box on the right. He hooks it in and Vlaar gets rid of it. A swift counter comes to nothing but Holland retain possession for a moment or two and keeps the crowd – which, frankly, sounds like a One Direction concert when Brazil are on the ball – quiet for a moment or two.
11 mins "The fact he didn't send Silva off is either compassion or a tacit admission that this game is pointless," reckons Niall Mullen. Can it be both?
9 mins Jô scampers onto a long ball forward down the right. He turns and lays the ball back to Ramires on the edge of the box. He tries to squirt the ball through the legs of a few Dutch defenders but it rebounds back and Holland counter with pace. That comes to nothing except a yellow card for Robben.
7 mins The man speaks sense.
5 mins Aren't Brazil meant to be better with Silva in defence?
Goal!!! Brazil 0-1 Holland (Van Persie)
The Manchester United man gets his 4th goal of the tournament by lashing the spot-kick into the top-right corner of the net. César dived to the correct side but got nowhere near it. Silva got a yellow card, by the way, but it should have been a red.
2 mins Holland dominate possession for the opening seconds, stroking the ball around the pitch as Brazil press high and hard. A ball was hit long and Van Persie took it down. He twirled and played a wonderful through ball for Robben, slicing open the Brazilian defence as he did. Just a touch inside the box, the Bayern Munich man is held back by Silva and the referee is left with no choice.
1 min Off goes the match. Holland get us going, they are playing right to left. Brazil take their lead from YG and start off in a left, right fashion.
The anthems are done, the pleasantries are done, the handshakes are done and we are ready to rock and/or roll. (There weren't as many tears this time from the Brazil players, which is a bit of a disappointment.) Brazil are kitted out in their sun yellow and Holland are draped in their sea blue.
"While I admire Silva's fortitude," says Felix Wood, "I'm sure we can all agree it would be much more fun if they played the game exactly as if it were a semi-final instead." Correct.
You wanted drama. You got drama. Over in the warm-up, Sneijder's hamstring has done one – the combination of a innocuous challenge and a practice shot on goal – and he will be replaced by De Guzmán.
Some pre-match quotes
to add some spice to the contest to keep us going. Says Mr Kuyt:
We want to win here, return unbeaten and with a feeling that we have given everything here. We want to leave this tournament with a good feeling. We still won’t be satisfied but this is the way we have to look at things as top athletes. Third place will feel a lot better than fourth place.
Says Mr Silva:
I guarantee that we will play this Saturday's game like it was the final.
Brazil v Holland for the World Cup consolation prize may appear a flawed spectacle, writes my colleague Scott Murray, but history shows it can still deliver. Here is what he has to say about it all.
The third-place play-off at the World Cup is notorious as the match no player wants to contest, no manager wants to oversee and few punters want to watch. Its reputation is hardly surprising, as it is an unpalatable proposition for two disillusioned teams: a contest between two squads who have had their chance to play in the greatest game of all snatched away at the last and who just want to go home.
Yet despite its fundamentally flawed premise, this unloved fixture has delivered time and again, cementing a couple of legends, breaking a record or two, setting the scene for one of the greatest goals of all time and even providing a little succour to bruised souls.
Introduced in 1934, the third-place match took a mere 24 seconds to deliver its first goal, Ernst Lehner of Germany getting the match against Austria’s famous Wunderteam, as well as the entire concept, off to a flyer. It was the fastest World Cup goal at the time; it is still the third fastest. Lehner also scored just before the break, his shot the decider in a 3-2 win.
Brazil took third in 1938, 4-2 over Sweden, their first World Cup star Leonidas scoring twice to finish the tournament as top scorer, a bittersweet consolation after missing the semi-final defeat by Italy. Some insist their manager, Adhemar Pimenta, had foolishly rested Leonidas for a final that never came, though injury is the more likely cause, given the striker had played some of Brazil’s first-round match against Poland on a muddy pitch with no boots, and then been battered all over the shop by Yugoslavia in the quarters.
On this day in 1998:
Seriously lads, it's time to get over it.
The team news is in like pajama tops
Brazil: César, Maicon, Silva, Luiz, Maxwell, Gustavo, Paulinho, Ramires, Oscar, Willian, Jô. Subs: Jefferson, Victor, Dani Alves, Fernandinho, Marcelo, Hulk, Fred, Dante, Henrique, Hernanes, Bernard.
Holland: Cillessen; Kuyt, De Vrij, Vlaar, Martins Indi, Blind; Clasie, Wijnaldum,
Sneijder De Guzmán; Robben, Van Persie. Subs: Vorm, Krul, Janmaat, De Guzman, Verhaegh, Veltman, Kongolo, Lens, Huntelaar, Memphis.
Referee: Djamel Haimoudi (#ALG)
Michael Collins. No, not the Irish one who was minister for finance, gunrunning, daylight robbery and general mayhem. The American one. The one who, in the words of Charles Lindbergh, "experienced an aloneness unknown to man before". While Neil Armstrong was off messing up his lines and Buzz Aldrin was delaying his decent onto the surface of the Moon so he could urinate – "everybody has their firsts on the Moon," he quipped – Collins was fidgeting nervously in the Columbia space model. "If they fail to rise from the surface [of the Moon], or crash back into it, I am not going to commit suicide; I am coming home, forthwith, but I will be a marked man for life and I know it," he wrote at the time. He need not have worried. The lads made it back without a hitch. In fact, the hitch came when they landed back on Earth. Armstrong joined the J.D Salinger Club for Peace and Quiet and Aldrin took to drink like a jacket to a hanger. Collins, however, led a quiet life. So quiet, most people forget about him. "Who was the third astronaut on the Apollo 11 mission?" they often pose at the local pub quiz. Ah yeah, yer man, you know him, whatshisname. Few can answer. Few remember who was third.
Ah yes, third. Who cares about coming third in a World Cup? No one. Who wants to boast they came third in a World Cup? No one. Most players would be happier to get "I voted Conservative and think David Cameron is doing a stand-up job" tattooed onto their lower torso and be forced to walk around in a brightly coloured crop-top for 365 days straight rather than hold up that bronze medal. For you see, when you get past the quarter-finals and into the semis, all that matters is winning. Eff style, eff history, eff the crowd, eff the TV pundits, eff the print pundits, eff the bandwagon jumpers, eff the haters. Eff it all. Except the winning. And winning is exactly what Brazil and Holland could not do at that stage of this glorious tournament.
"Losing 7-1 is the same as losing on penalties," argued Louis van Gaal after Argentina did one to his Dutch side the other night. He had a point. They both involved losses and they both involved teams saying so-long to a World Cup final. Brazil's one was different though, very different. The last time something along these lines happened to "stadium doctors treated 169 people for fits of hysteria and other troubles [and] six were taken to hospital seriously ill". It was a defeat that the entire country has never quite got over. And like that loss to Uruguay, this one will reverberate from Roraima to Rio Grande do Sul.
Football is Brazil's pride and joy, their greatest export, it is how they define themselves to the world. But in a couple of hundred seconds their image, their self-confidence, their samba-swagger has been destroyed. Incinerated. Annihilated. Obliterated. It's like that scene in The Simpsons when Laura tells Bart she has a boyfriend and he imagines her ripping out his beating hart and kicking it into the bin. And said defeat has left them with more complicated questions than a Mensa test. Where do they go from here? Do they redefine how they play football? Do they completely overhaul the system?
And what of the politicians who threw their support and public money behind this bid for the hexa? Brazil is the seventh (seventh! you couldn't make this up) largest economy on this here planet and its leader, Dilma Rousseff, has closely identified with the team throughout this tournament. Had Brazil won this World Cup, she could probably send out the invites for election-winning party and, of course, public/consumer confidence and all that jazz that goes way above most of our heads would be through the roof. As Joshua Keating pointed out in his Slate blog:
If Brazil had won the tournament, it could have changed the political significance of the entire event. If the country had made a dignified exit in the late rounds, it probably wouldn’t have had that much of an impact either way. But a defeat this humiliating is going to remind a lot of voters of why they were upset about the World Cup in the first place.
So in October when voters take to the polls, they may find the words seven and one ringing in their ears and Rousseff may well find herself without much to do in the mornings. And where will that leave Brazil? Football, bloody hell, eh?
As for Holland, they have been close before and lost before. Right now it hurts, it hurts real bad, and feisty competitors that they are, they'll be sending sad selfies in their group What's App over the next few days. But they'll soon shrug it off, they'll soon be back on their feet and there will be little of no need to burn effigies of Mark Rutte or chase him with pitchforks and flames from one end of Amsterdam to the other. There will, however, be a need to examine where it went wrong against Argentina. Up front would be the best place to start. They had as many shots on goal in 120 minutes as the times all of you reading this preamble have left this planet (unless, of course, we have one of those astronauts amongst us and then it is Guardian MBM Readers 1-0 Holland). Given Brazil's recent tendency towards self-immolation at the back, they should have no such problems this time around.
That is, of course, if they bother to show up. Van Gaal was his usual forthright self when quizzed about the third-place play-off the lead-up to this match. “I think that this match should never be played," he held-back. "I have been saying this for the past 10 years. We will just have to play the game but it is unfair. We will have one day less to recover and that's not fair play. But the worst thing is, I believe, there is a chance that you lose twice in a row in a tournament in which you've played so marvellously well. You go home as a 'loser' because possibly you've lost the last two matches.”
So who cares about third? Not him obviously but Brazil are going to have to. A win would allow them to reclaim a modicum of pride but even then it will only act as a soggy piece of paper would if it were used to mop up an overflowing toilet. The match and team news is on its way. Stayed tuned for that and much, much more.