Full time: Bayern Munich 2-1 Manchester City
Bayern Munich win the Audi Cup! Yes. Good night.
90 min: Mind you, people have picked up on Hargreaves noting that ice is "just frozen water".
88 min: What a chance for Dzeko to equalise. A long ball over the top finds the Bayern defence wide open but his first touch is poor, the ball doesn't really come down for him and he snatches at his effort from 12 yards out, allowing Neuer to save.
85 min: Hargreaves reckons that Muller "isn't the easiest on the eye but he's the most effective footballer I've ever seen." Hard to argue. Hargreaves seems like a decent co-commentator by the way: thoughtful, erudite and knowledgeable.
83 min: Just been accused of anti-German/pro-Manchester City bias. Don't these people have anything better to do?
81 min: Mandzukic hits the post! Lahm hoicks a pass to him on the edge of the area and a superb touch sets him up for a volley which he cracks on to the base of the left post and away to safety. I'm a big fan of Mandzukic, in case he's looking for validation.
79 min: Muller's ambitious cross-shot is deflected behind for a corner.
78 min: It would appear that Van Buyten and Boateng are now Bayern's centre-backs.
76 min: "That was as clear a pen as you'll ever see," says James K. "Imagine the insanity of the decision had the referee waved play on." But it wasn't remotely deliberate.
75 min: It all opens up for Shaqiri 20 yards out but his fizzer is pushed away by Pantilimon, who's played well.
74 min: Negredo goes off, Edin Dzeko comes on. Apologies if I've missed some subs. They haven't really been on top of them on television.
GOAL! Bayern Munich 2-1 Manchester City (Mandzukic, 72 min)
Panic over. Muller, having scored the equaliser, whips an undefendable cross into the six-yard box from the right. Boyata is totally helpless and Mandzukic stoops to head past Pantilimon. That's a brilliant goal.
70 min: I really don't think that was a penalty. Zabaleta had no idea where the ball was. Or any control over his arm.
67 min: A loose ball sits up for Shaqiri and he whacks a volley this far over the bar from 30 yards out. Pantilimon didn't move.
GOAL! Bayern Munich 1-1 Manchester City (Muller pen, 66 min)
Thomas Muller does not miss. Pantilimon is coolly sent the wrong way as Muller strokes the ball into the bottom-left corner.
PENALTY TO BAYERN MUNICH
65 min: This is a shocking decision. A long ball was pumped towards Muller. Zabaleta heads the ball up into the air. He has no idea where it is and because he's off balance, he throws his arm up in the air and inadvertently handles it. It was just a reflex reaction.
64 min: "Shouldn't the Guardian be covering Swansea's return to Europe, a match that counts for something?" says John David. Actually this is the first time Swansea have been in Europe, so.
GOAL! Bayern Munich 0-1 Manchester City (Negredo, 61 min)
It's fifth time lucky for Alvaro Negredo! It's terrible defending from Bayern, though. Dante failed to deal with a tame ball through the middle from Nasri, slashing at thin air, and suddenly Negredo came alive. He gave Martinez a yard's start but he outpaced and outmuscled his fellow Spaniard, romped into the right of the area area and then carefully bobbled an accurate shot across Neuer and into the far corner. Pep winces on the touchline.
59 min: Rafinha replaces Kroos, who's picked up a knock. And, everyone, Pep's had an idea: Lahm is in midfield now. Martinez is in defence. Er. "Can anyone really be taking this seriously, even diehard Bavarians dressed in their oom-pah kits and Citizens as sheikhs (shudder)?" says Lou Roper. "All of this earnest talk of Lame, formations, 'Pep' (we're mates, you know), etc. on the day the third Ashes Test began must be apropos of nothing surely?" This sudden focus on pre-season friendlies is a worrying development.
58 min: "Agreed," says Gokul Kannan. "But there is a major flaw. Bayern has changed very little in terms on personnel on the pitch. They play beautiful already. Now a guy comes and teaches his “philosophy” to Ribery and Robben. It does not work out. So you start replacing the players with Alcantaras. Why can’t the manager play according to the skills his players have got. Eg: I completely agree with Brenden Rodgers selling Caroll but completely disagree on him buying Allen. You see."
There is an element of that but I don't really want to read too much into pre-season.
57 min: Xherdan Shaqiri and Mario Mandzukic replace Thiago, who's done very little, and Robben.
54 min: It just won't go in for Negredo. Zabaleta and Nasri combine on the right and the latter's cross finds Negredo six yards from goal. He has to score but directs his powerful header straight at Neuer, who stands still and lets the ball hit him.
53 min: Kroos krosses. Muller heads back across goal. Robben does ... something weird. Kompany clears for a corner.
52 min: Nasri has the ball in the Bayern net. But the flag's up for offside.
51 min: "Boring," says Dan Lucas. "I miss Jupp Heynckes."
50 min: Kroos bends one over. "All the chatter about the flase nine but no one has mentioned Peps best choice for that role - Mario Götze," says Jörn Gillys-Niemeyer. "He surely is no Messi but if you look closely you'll notice the same key abilities: fast paced intelligent play with amazing ball control. Götze just entered team training again and I personally can't wait what Peps team will play like when he's fully fit again. Happy to see Lahm is playing right defense again. Aweful and weird move from Pep to let the worlds best right defender (imo for years now, last years stats are incredible) lose himself midfield."
49 min: Clichy curves a magnificent pass round the back of Martinez for Nasri. He's in the clear but the ball's always running away from him and he can't poke it past Neuer. Perhaps he could have taken it round him.
47 min: A lot of you are sending critical emails of Pep Guardiola for changing Bayern's style. But know this: it's pre-season and they played yesterday.
46 min: Here we go again. City have made two changes, Jesus Navas and Yaya Toure on for Jovetic and Barry.
"I wonder how playing Muller up front helps Bayern," says Arun Pradeep. "He has neither the physique nor the aerial ability of the departed Mario Gomez, or even the built of Mario Mandzukic, who's not playing. I think the Bayern of last year would be at least two goals up by this stage after all this possession and the chances they created. I can understand Guardiola is trying to make the team more versatile but I think it's starting to look like Guardiola's Barcelona all over again, with the same level of amped up frustration."
Didn't they win the Champions League twice? But I get what you're saying.
Half-time: Bayern Munich 0-0 Manchester City
Peep! Peep! Time for some oranges!
44 min: Negredo wastes two more good chances! From the left, Nasri stands a cross towards the near post towards Negredo, who gets in front of his marker and heads straight at Neuer. Moments later, Milner curls in another cross and Negredo heads wide from six yards out.
42 min: City have come into this a little bit over the past five or 10 minutes. Clichy escapes down the left and with Bayern exposed, he pulls it back to Negredo, who scuffs his left-footed effort badly wide from the edge of the area.
41 min: Boyata makes a terrific, clean tackle on Ribery, just outside the area, and he's booked for his troubles. In a friendly!
39 min: It's easier to play with a False Nine when he's a phenomenon who scores 70 goals a season.
38 min: Clichy shoots from outside the area with his right foot. He did not score a goal.
35 min: Still Bayern press. They find space on the right again. Again Kompany deals with the cross. From the resulting corner, Schweinsteiger loops his header on to the roof of the net.
33 min: Kroos plays Ribery in again but there's no one waiting in the middle to finish off his low ball across the six-yard box.
32 min: After all that Bayern pressure, City almost take a shock lead. Zabaleta pings a pass from right to left, finding Jovetic on the edge of the area. He drifts inside, withstands a hefty challenge and then thumps a rising shot inches wide of the right post. Neuer was beaten.
29 min: Bayern go close three times in the space of a minute. First Robben drills a low left-footer towards the bottom left corner, forcing Pantilimon to push it away. That's a great save. The ball came through a lot of bodies. The pressure continues and a cross from Lahm is desperately hacked behind by Kompany, before another cross from Lahm finds Dante and Martinez, who's in a much better position than the Brazilian, unmarked at the far post. Dante takes it off Martinez's head though.
28 min: On the commentary, Owen Hargreaves suggests that Manuel Pellegrini has never had a squad as strong as this. His Real Madrid side might argue otherwise, even though they won nothing.
26 min: City get into Bayern's half - !!!!!!!!! - but soon remember their place and Nasri promptly gives the ball to Neuer.
25 min: It's weird that a midfield of Schweinsteiger, Kroos and Thiago is dominating against one containing Gareth Barry.
23 min: Robben finds Lahm on the overlap. Kompany puts his cross behind. "Bayern look very very good at the moment," says Daniel Schulwolf. "Dante is an absolute stud at center half. He was initially overlooked a little due to the fact that Javi Martinez was signed for an absurd amount of money in the same transfer window. Getting Dante was just as good a piece of business as the Martinez transfer, if not better, because it meant that Van Buyten and/or Badstuber no longer had to play the most important matches (Side Note: Borussia Mönchengladbach sold Reus and Dante within a few weeks of each other. If they had the ability to retain those two, they could have launched a title challenge, or at the very least a Champions League run. As it was they knocked out by a pretty average Dynamo Kiev in the qualifiers)."
21 min: Bayern are passing it, City are defending, sometimes City win the ball and then they quickly give it back.
16 min: Robben moves in from the right, on to his left foot, leans back and wallops one over the bar from 20 yards out.
14 min: Bayern are in total control. City aren't really pressing at all and they're making it easy for them in midfield.
12 min: City haven't been out of their half for a long time.
10 min: Ribery takes Boyata on and wins a corner on the left. Only 80 minutes left, City!
9 min: Bayern are all over City here. After an extended spell of possession, Robben rolls a pass to Kroos, who wraps his right foot around the ball Beckham-style and whips a firm shot towards the top-right corner. Pantilimon beats it away.
7 min: "'Add some extra spice to the eagerly anticipated SPFL curtain raiser'?" says Simon McMahon. "Does Sean Hagashen work for BT Sport? Apologies if he took offence at my email but as a lifelong advocate and supporter of Scottish football I prefer to think of my tone as self-deprecating rather than snidey. United to win 2-0." And all was well in the world.
5 min: This is a fantastic start, real end-to-end stuff. Lahm drops a wonderful pass over the gasping Zabaleta but Ribery's cushioned cross-shot eludes Robben at the far post.
4 min: Fernandino bursts through the middle and finds Milner on the right of the area. It suddenly opens up for him but his low left-foot swipe is blocked by Dante.
3 min: It's notable that Manuel Neuer is taking goal-kicks short. The Guardiola influence. Bayern are playing a False Nein too.
2 min: Here come Bayern. Muller eludes his marker in the middle of the the pitch and sprays a pass out to Robben on the right. He cuts inside, on to his left foot, but instead of shooting wildly over, he curves a delicious pass inside Zabaleta for Ribery. He takes a touch and shoots low across goal but Pantilimon gets down smartly to his left to push the ball out and then pounce on the rebound.
And we're off! Bayern, kicking from right to left, get us underway. It's Bastian Schweinsteiger's birthday today. Happy birthday, Schweini.
Here come the teams.Bayern are in their red kit and City are in blue. The Allianz Arena is packed. "Not relevant to the City-Bayern match, but is there a recommended 12-step program to relieve Spurs fans of their Bale addiction?" says William Walsh. "There is a Spurs fan in the office who has been curled up in a foetal position under his desk for the past three days." What! He should relax, there's no chance Gareth Bale would want to leave Tottenham for Real Madrid.
"I can't say I'm too impressed by the snidey undertones of Simon McMahon's comment at 19:15," says Sean Hagashen. "Partick Thistle were a exciting, youthful attacking side last season as they stormed to the title; the return to Firhill of former manager Jackie McNamara with Dundee Utd will add some extra spice to the eagerly anticipated SPFL curtain-raiser. I, for one, cannot wait. Mon the Jags!"
What have I unleashed here? I think you've misinterpreted Simon's tone though.
"Good evening Jacob, and welcome BT Sport," says Simon McMahon. "A nice hors d'ouevres tonight before tomorrow's main course - the world-famous Dundee United FC taking on Partick Thistle as the new SPFL kicks off. You're all fighting over that one, right?"
You jest but I've actually been invited to watch this with some Dundee United fans.
"The audience are all standing up, which is why it looks like a sports bar," says Chris McHugh. "Clearly the £738 million that BT paid to secure the rights took them too far over budget to afford chairs." The pundits have chairs.
"Amazing how the Guardian can do a MBM for a pre-season friendly, but not for a Champions League qualifier!" says Mike Cormack.
We are pretty damn amazing, you're right.
Michael Owen just listed all of Manchester City's signings as "their big signings so far".
Michael Owen is talking about horse racing now. Gary Neville's knees must be shaking. My colleague, James Dart, reckons that the BT studio looks a bit like a sports bar. Jake Humphrey is wearing a polka dot shirt.
And here are the teams. Pep Guardiola continues to use Javi Martinez in central defence, while City pair Jovetic and Negredo up front.
Bayern Munich: Neuer; Lahm, Martinez, Dante, Alaba; Schweinsteiger; Robben, Thiago, Kroos, Ribery; Müller.
Manchester City: Pantilimon; Zabaleta, Kompany, Boyata, Clichy; Milner, Fernandinho, Barry, Nasri; Jovetic, Negredo
Michael Owen is smiling and waving on BT Sport. It's their first night. And what a way to start!
Evening there. The last time Manchester City played Bayern Munich at the Allianz Arena, you might remember that Roberto Mancini and Carlos Tevez had something of a difference of opinion. But that was then, this is now, a holistic new world for City, and neither Mancini nor Tevez is still with the club. Tevez has
finally got his wish to go back to Argentina sauntered off to Juventus and Mancini, who partly lost his job because of how clueless he is in Europe, has been replaced by affability's Manuel Pellegrini, who really does have a rather good record in Europe, having taken Villarreal to the semi-finals of the Champions League in 2006 and Malaga to within a minute of the last four last season.
The early signs have been encouraging enough. City, fresh from winning some pre-season trinket in Asia last week, have been quietly efficient in the transfer market this summer, replacing Tevez and Mario Balotelli with the decidedly less troublesome Stevan Jovetic and Alvaro Negredo, bolstering their midfield with Fernandinho and giving their squad some much-needed pace and width by signing the really rather nifty Jesus Navas from Sevilla. Of course, City do still retain the capacity for foot-shooting farce - it's in their DNA - and after going 5-0 up in 30 minutes against Milan yesterday, they went into half-time leading 5-3. Never change. Though they'll probably not want to defend like that against Pep Guardiola's formidable European champions this evening, else they'll not be able to call themselves Audi Cup champions. And no one wants that.