Football transfer rumours: PSG's Adrien Rabiot to Manchester United?

Today’s fluff is going to be busy

Not being a complete and utter bampot, Brendan Rodgers is unlikely to stop to take a selfie while mounting a raid at Celtic this summer. But mount a raid he will, and by “mount a raid” we of course mean “ask someone to negotiate a purchase”. The target of the Northern Irishman’s swoop on the club that the lovable ol’ romantic just can’t get out of his heart will be Kieran Tierney. The nifty left-back has reportedly been identified has an ideal replacement for Ben Chilwell, not least because he could cost around a fifth of the amount that Leicester may get from Manchester City for Chilwell.

That, of course, assumes that Manchester City will not be neutered by a transfer embargo as a result of Uefa’s investigations into the club’s practices. There is speculation that Uefa may feel the need to hit City the way they have hit Chelsea. Ach, in a week in which English clubs have demonstrated awesome power in European competition, it just doesn’t seem cricket to broach accusations of systemic chicanery.

On an unrelated note, Real Madrid. Zinedine Zidane has already begun his revamp at the Bernebéu by signing the defender Eder Militao from Porto but he is far from done. His in-no-way-carefully-leaked shopping list also includes Christian Eriksen and Eden Hazard but not Neymar, meaning the Brazilian could be stranded at Paris Saint-Germain. And the French league has no word for Ballon d’Or.

Real hope to raise funds for their rebuilding programme by flogging a slew of players, including Mateo Kovacic and James Rodríguez. The queue of would-be buyers is impressively discreet at the minute. Meanwhile, Gareth Bale is said to have no intention of leaving the Spanish club and will tell Real fans exactly that once he figures out which language they speak.

Ole Gunnar Solskjær has, we know, restored the happy vibe around Old Trafford. Now he is being linked with Adrien Rabiot, the midfielder currently on PSG’s naughty step for, amongst other things, liking a celebratory post released by Patrice Evra following Manchester United’s recent victory in Paris. “FFS”, to quote another popular post.

Having shooed Darren Moore out the door for not having qualified West Brom for next season’s Champions League yet, the people who set remarkably high standards at the Hawthorns have turned their attention to Slavisa Jokanovic, one of the managers sacked by Fulham this season, and Alex Neil, whom they may not realise hasn’t been in charge of table-topping Norwich for some time.

Finally, José Mourinho is being linked … actually, let’s ignore José Mourinho for a while. Feels better, doesn’t it?