Football transfer rumours: Neymar, Mbappé or Hazard to Real Madrid?

Today’s fluff is delighted

Real Madrid want the world to know that they have £330m to spend and will use it to bag a new Galactico or two, but the world is unimpressed. After all, that amount wouldn’t even pay for half a Luka Modrić, according to Real’s own valuations. Still, thanks to some obliging Spanish newspapers Real can still get their names linked with Neymar, Kylian Mbappé and Eden Hazard again for free, so there’s another win for the lavishly decorated club.

Meanwhile in another world, West Brom are still weighing up whether to offer employment to the out-of-work former Norwich City Galacticos Wes “Wessi” Hoolahan and, um, Russell “Russaldo” Martin.

None of which brings us to Manchester United and Chelsea, both of whomare said to be hovering over Roma’s Greek defender Kostas Manolas, who has a release clause that the Italian club are trying to convince the player to remove. Roma’s midfielder Lorenzo Pellegrini, meanwhile, is catching the attention of Manchester City.

José Mourinho apparently thinks that Wolves’ Rúben Neves has what it takes to become a Manchester United midfielder even though the player has dropped no hints whatsoever about leaving his current club, which is understood to be standard practice for a United midfielder. Naturally, Paris Saint-Germain are also interested in the 21-year-old.

Spurs manager Mauricio Pochettino thinks there’s a possibility that Toby Alderweireld will sign a new contract at the homeless London club. Sure there is, for Alderweireld recently declared he never had any desire to leave Tottenham during the summer just gone, and he even said that with a straight face.

Fulham have opened talks with Ryan Sessegnon over a new contract in the hope of keeping the youngsters out of the clutches of Spurs and United for while longer. Arsenal, meanwhile, are in serious chat with Nacho Monreal in an effort to stop him from joining Barcelona for free next summer. Arsenal are keen on making a move for Porto midfielder Héctor Herrera, who has also aroused the interest of Real Madrid thanks to his dynamic midfield performances for Mexico at the summer’s World Cup. The game’s not all about Galacticos, you see.

Still, it’s the big names that excite people so let’s finish on a high: Watford are looking a new man to embody Harry the Hornet after Gareth Evans, the chap who has hitherto given life to the gigantic cuddly insect, decided he had taken the mascot as far as he could. “Proud of what I achieved,” tweeted Evans. Roy Hodgson has firm views on mascot etiquette but is not thought to be considering an application for the position, sadly.