Today's fluff is not going to change
The Mill spent so many years watching David Moyes trying to scrabble together enough coins to bring a lower leagues prospect or Premier League cast-off to Everton that it is difficult to get used to him being linked with swoops for the world's most glamorous stars. Even though he is now the manager of Manchester United, you cannot help thinking of him as one of those staid-in-their-ways lottery winners who announce that they intend treating themselves to a new Ford Fiesta and possibly a weekend in Yarmouth but certainly won't be moving house or giving up their job as deputy floor manager in the town's dog food factory.
And yet, Moyes means business. Not only is he being linked with Cristiano Ronaldo and Robert Lewandowski – both of whom are also being linked with Paris Saint-Germain – but the Daily Mail says United are "increasingly confident" of landing Cesc Fábregas. Arsenal fans may point out that their club has first refusal on the player if Barcelona decide to let him go but, of course, the fact is that Fábregas has first refusal and he does not have to go anywhere he doesn't want to go – and word is eight years at the Emirates have left him with a trophy itch that still needs scratching. Hence United's confidence.
While he's in Barcelona, Moyes will also try to pick up the midfielder Thiago Alcantara for around £15m. And if Everton absolutely refuse to relinquish Leighton Baines, United will move for Southampton's Luke Shaw.
The Saint Etienne midfielder Joshua Guilavogui has been hearing voices: "The English and German championships talk to me and make me dream," says the 22-year-old, who may wish he'd gone easy on the cheese when he wakes up in Sunderland.
The Ajax defender Toby Alderweireld has been sleeping with … no, hold on, that didn't come out right. The Ajax defender Toby Alderweireld has been having the same dreams as Guilavogui, which is good news for Arsenal, who are hoping to lure the defender to London. Similarly, Arsène Wenger may have been happy to hear midfielder Clément Grenier equivocating about his future at Lyon and suggesting he, too, might fancy a move to England. Lyon, meanwhile, are eager to raise funds by selling their striker Bafetimbi Gomis but the France international will not accept being shunted out to just anywhere and is reported to have already snubbed a possible switch to Hull.
Liverpool are said to be preparing to hold "showdown talks" with Martin Skrtel as rumours continue to link the player to Napoli. Presumably at the talks Liverpool will try to convince him to accept a move.
PSG fancy replacing Carlo Ancelotti with another Italian, which is good news for Roberto Benigni, Frankie Dettori and Nancy Del'ollio, except that the club are believed to prefer Roberto Mancini or Fabio Capello.
Monaco, meanwhile, are trying to decide whether to bid for Nani or Hulk, so will probably just go for both.
Real Madrid have reputedly said that an £85m asking price would not put them off Gareth Bale, which surely guarantees that Tottenham will not ask for anything less if they come calling. Chelsea will hope that Real negotiate just as smartly when they try to prise Edinson Cavani from Napoli. Spurs, meanwhile, have their eyes on the Brazilian midfielder Bernard – but so do Borussia Dortmund, who view the Atlético Mineiro trickster as a potential replacement for Mario Götze.