Please note: today's Mill may be best enjoyed with this playing in the background
If today's tittle-tattle is to believed then the magic managerial roundabout is set to spin so furiously this summer that local weather systems will be dramatically affected. A buttterfly flapping its wings in China may cause rain in London, but a manager leaving his job in London looks set to cause a whole variety of storms across the world.
The Daily Telegraph "exclusively" reports (although it's been whispered in the French press for a while) that Paris Saint-Germain are increasingly confident of luring Arsène Wenger from the Arsenal hotseat in which he's been sitting for so long that his buttock groove could be used as nests by passing ostrich. "PSG's most senior figures have been telling members of their circle that Wenger has been persuaded to leave north London," says the Telegraph.
If Wenger does opt to end his 17-year tenure with the Gunners, then Arsenal will look to lure Germany coach Jogi Löw and his extensive collection of designer knitwear to the Emirates, possibly by leaving tempting balls of high-grade wool outside Finsbury Park station. Also in contention are Dortmund's Jürgen Klopp, Everton's David Moyes and the Ajax assistant manager and rather-popular-figure-at-Arsenal Dennis Bergkamp.
As and when Löw heads to north London Jupp Heynckes will get his hands on the Mannschaft. Heynckes could have a Champions League, Bundesliga and German Cup treble in his back pocket by the end of the season, but he's still getting turfed out of Bayern Munich to make way for Pep Guardiola.
Which takes us, sort of, to Spain. The reason for the forthcoming power vacuum at PSG will be Carlo Ancelotti's flit to Real Madrid. He's tired of being a chequebook manager in charge of so many underachieving overpaid prima donnas so it's clearly a perfect fit at the Ber … ah … well … um … yes. Ancelotti will arrive to find a José Mourinho-shaped hole in the wall, the Special One having Done One to Stamford Bridge, where Roman Abramovich will clasp him to his bosom once more.
And where does that leave Chelsea's interim head coach Rafa Benítez? Which European giant want him to spearhead their plans for continental domination? Erm, Monaco in the French second division. Unless Manchester City's Roberto Mancini gets there first, in which case Brendan Rodgers may head to The Stadium Formerly Known As Eastlands and Benítez can make a hero's return to Anfield. Claudio Ranieri, the current Monaco manager, has had enough and will be on his way to, well, let's say Milan, where Massimilliano Allegri is on his way out. Possibly.
The Sun say that the Wenger tussle won't be the only one involving PSG and a Premier League side this summer. The French side want Cristiano Ronaldo and have faxed a bid worth £80m to Real Madrid. United had hoped they were at the front of the queue, what with Nani being offered as part of their bid for the Portugal winger.
Arsenal want Southampton's Morgan Schneiderlin to provide a little tippy and a lot of tappy in their midfield next season, and he'll follow the breadcrumb trail left by Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Theo Walcott when they skipped the path between St Mary's Stadium and north London.
Tottenham are hoping to pip Liverpool to the £6.5m signing of Blackpool's Thomas Ince. He's wanted to provide cover for the worryingly knack-prone Aaron Lennon. Liverpool, meanwhile, are keen on strengthening at the back and Sporting Lisbon's Tiago Ilori fits the bill – he'll set them back around £1.2m
West Ham are desperately reading through the small print of their arrangement to buy Andy Carroll for £17m from Liverpool in the summer, and they're hoping to find the words: "This deal is null and void if the Hammers feel a bit strapped for cash and fancy a much cheaper deal for Nikica Jelavic from Everton."
Harry Redknapp has been moaning that his QPR players will be harder to shift than a three-week-old red wine stain on a deep pile cream carpet, but Park Ji-sung already has admirers. He's wanted by half the MLS, with Toronto, managed by Park's former Rangers team-mate Ryan Nelsen, at the head of the queue.
Galatasaray already have Didier Drogba and Wesley Sneijder on their books, and are keen on adding another player-who's-not-quite-the-player-he-once-was-or-at-least-looked-like-he-might-be to their ranks. They want Manchester City left-back Gäel Clichy and, according to the Mail "like Joleon Lescott and Kolo Touré", though that pair favour moves elsewhere.
And Michael Laudrup's agent will be at Barcelona's Camp Nou, Real Madrid's Bernabéu and Benfica's Stadium of Light this week, but not as part of the dizzying spin on our managerial merrygoround. He's running the rule over several disappointingly nameless summer transfer targets.