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Alright guys, deadline day is finally beyond us.

Please take these with a light heart, will ya? :D Let us know if you want some quality ones posted. Let us celebrate with some humor.

+1
+3
+2
+3
Ibarbo had entered the Premier league, brace total yourself lol
Is this ironic?
maaaaaaaan. say hello to the most popular player in fut. ronaldo? messi? step aside, ibarbo is in the premier league
Saido Berahino has claimed on Twitter that he will never play for West Brom again.the deal to take Saido Berahino to Spurs failed to happen simply because the West Brom chairman Jeremy Peace refused to do business.

Tottenham are known to be surprised that Peace chose to make Spurs’ four bids public and made the process personal.
If he wants to leave let him leave, he won't be committed to WBA
Doesn't sound very "peace-ful"... he he.
+2
He's completely Raheem-ed it

Pun Pun Pun
WHO is Anthony martial anyone knows? Please?
+1
^An 18-year-old French Striker who has played for Real, Barca, Bayern and Juve. He scored 79 goals last season and narrowly missed out on the Ballon'D'or. The only reason why he didn't feature for France is because the French national team coach doesn't like stars. He then moved to Lyon with the hopes of making the French national team, but has since decided to move to the EPL to take his childhood dream club to new heights. Hope this helps.
+6
Have a look for yourself.

According to FM, United can win the league single handedly thanks to Martial's pace, acceleration and finishing. Will dethrone Messi in the ballon d'or's come 2017

According to reality, many think United played 6 times more than the normal amount for a 19yr 100m sprinter.

According to LVG, Cantona is back in town.
Strange analogy considering their 2 completely opposite kinds of players. Cantona was more like a Costa type whereas Martial is from the Micheal Owen mould. Just sayin...
+2
cantona was a costa type? my word what blasphemy. cantona was an artist on the pitch. think ibra in terms of swagger and skill finishes
+2
The best way to describe the season so far would be that we are all under the control of some guy (a City fan) playing FM and adding new players as managers to his rival teams. He secures all his signings and uses the additional players to mess up the other teams, including their signings. That would explain why Chelsea are doing poorly, Arsenal and Liverpool doing nothing in this transfer window, Utd spending 36 million which may go to 80 million on a youngster and nothing significant for the rest of Europe's big teams. :P
Liverpool have signed 7 new players. I wouldn't call that "nothing".
Ah, my bad, transfer day memory woes. Well, and some beer of course. Oh well, joke fail.
+1
https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video/CN0GxolWwAAqZ_c.mp4

Beloved higuain celebration strikes back :D



+1
Stupid transfer window from the big guns of PL... hopefully s**t turns well in the last seconds
Well its been no masterpiece but teams definitely upgraded. The whole league is much stronger this year and mid table teams of yesteryear can now do some signifigant damage to the top teams title hopes. IMO City did the most upgrading but like years before when they had 3/4 great strikers for 2 positions its going to be a tough job for Pelligrini to keep everyone happy. With DeBruyne in and the starting XI in form where will he play? Sit Silva to play DeBruyne? Or play DeBruyne on the right? He didn't like the right side at Chelsea, how will that be different at City?
Nothing confusing with De Bruyne signing. Navas is the weak spot in our team and Kevin is addressing just that
BREAKING: After United/Swansea game, LVG, Rooney, Memphis, & Romeo have been missing and the officials just released the following photo to aid in their rescue:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CNw50t_WcAABlWd.jpg:large

Oh and apparently Real just received De Gea's paperwork but they don't know how to open it:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CNxoW8eVEAAlR7S.jpg:large
+3
Don't get the second photo
Foooty you're so creative with your jokes, i totally never heard any of them a million times before. Quality, quality banter
+7
ba dum pshh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2uHBhKTSe0
@bluff apparently madrid could not open the documents because of the format
TheCheshireCat you are welcome to introduce martial creativity instead of moaning. As I said it before United fans have zero sense of humour since Moyes
Foooty yeah man you could do with some originality
+1
Alright guys, play nice. No personal jabs.

Humor and banter is allowed, don't make it repetitive. Talking of which, I think we should have a humor/banter contest

+1
Weekend Review Poem
-----------------------------------------

Shocker at the Bridge
Who says that place is boring?
What was the huge upset?
Falcao actually started scoring

Pardiola's Crystal Palace gave the blues absolute hell
After that game I bet Stones waved his transfer request farewell
From champions to chumpions, the blues continued their rough spell
Who says I only make poems when Chelsea does well?

The mood in the stadium changed more often than a group of lodgers
I kept wishing Mourinho would take off his mask and reveal he was Brendan Rogers

Jose 3rd seasons are usually filled with sorrow and drown
Whenever Ivanovic starts, Chelsea fans heads are down

Wenger must’ve been thrilled at the result as his team had beaten Newcastle away
I bet he called Jose and asked him "who is the specialist in failure today?"

Without the help of a linesman, Liverpool couldn't really amaze
West Ham have a bad record at Anfield, they haven't won their in 2 days

Good performance by Swansea, against a side that doesn't appease
The best things in life are free, Andre Ayew agrees

Is that a lion, who is trying to protect its cubs?
No its Gomis's celebration, its how he picks up girls at nightclubs

I think United need to spend some money and make more bids
Moyes did not die for this, but United's flowing football sure did

For Liverpool, Sterling scoring really took the piss
And Sagna's cross was something you wouldn't want to miss
Lots of upsets that many clubs would like to dismiss
But Arsenal fans be like, I need more weekends like this

:P
+12
Very funny, genuinely. I didn't even see if it rhymed or not. :D
+1
Would have liked a city nod but I digress.
"The best things in life are free, Andre Ayew agrees"
That is my favorite line from all of your poems. Brilliant!


Premier League Stats

Premier League Results

Sun 30th August
Sat 29th August
Mon 24th August

Premier League Fixtures

Sat 12th September
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v.
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Sun 13th September
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Mon 14th September
v.

Top Goalscorers

 
B. Gomis
4
C. Wilson
4
R. Mahrez
4
A. Ayew
3
R. Barkley
2
D. Tadić
2
G. Pellè
2
B. Sako
2
M. Noble
2
C. Kouyaté
2

Seeing Red

A. Mitrović
2 1
M. Noble
2 1
S. Whittaker
2 1
C. Jenkinson
1 1
Philippe Coutinho
1 1
D. Janmaat
1 1
C. Adam
1 1
I. Afellay
1 1
J. Terry
1 1
Adrián
0 1

Premier League Table

Form
PTS
GD
GA
GF
L
D
W
Pl
Pos
12
10
0
10
0
0
4
4
1
9
3
5
8
1
0
3
4
2
8
3
5
8
0
2
2
4
3
8
3
4
7
0
2
2
4
4
7
1
2
3
1
1
2
4
5
7
0
3
3
1
1
2
4
6
7
-1
3
2
1
1
2
4
7
6
3
6
9
2
0
2
4
8
5
1
4
5
1
2
1
4
9
5
0
5
5
1
2
1
4
10
4
-1
6
5
2
1
1
4
11
4
-1
5
4
2
1
1
4
12
4
-3
9
6
2
1
1
4
13
4
-3
8
5
2
1
1
4
14
4
-3
6
3
2
1
1
4
15
3
-1
4
3
1
3
0
4
16
3
-2
4
2
1
3
0
4
17
2
-2
5
3
2
2
0
4
18
2
-3
5
2
2
2
0
4
19
2
-4
10
6
2
2
0
4
20
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