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1 - Premier League Preview Poem (Oct 26)
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Rough week for english sides, don't worry the Prem is here just a day or another
Looking forward to some teams the premier league sides can beat.... (pause).... Each other

After beating the gunners Norwich will be gunning to give Villa the whip
What better way to tell Lambert he made the wrong descision to jump ship

Reading Fulham is the game to watch, now hear me out before you say 'r you on crack'
How can you not love watching Berbatov and trying to prounouce Pavel Pogrebnyak

Next is the battle of the red and white stripes, get ready to say ha
2 people have scored all of Sunderlands goals, Steven Fletcher and Demba ba

(pause)

West brom take on the Toon, here's something you may not know
Steve Clark managed the magpies in a 1 match cameo

Gareth Bale returns to face his old club who just can't stop conceding
They'r also down to thier 3rd choice keeper, expect a brutal beating

City return to face Swansea, I hope they've settled down and relaxed
After getting wasted on amsterdam grass.... Then getting beat by Ajax



City are still a force in the League as are Arsenal, even with thier recent pains
Shd be an easy gunners win as QPR have lost 10 of thier last 11 away games

United and Chelsea are the main event, a decade of brilliant matches
Tense cup finals, season deciders and ofcourse last year's batches

Although Chelsea weren't on the winning ends both games were open and had a nice flow
1 match was known for Torres's miss, the other was simply 'the Howard Web show'

Il end with the Merseyside Derby, Liverpool doing decent but Everton are in heaven
Most people predict Everton but I'l say Liverpool cause they've won 5 of the last 7

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2 - Premier League Preview Poem (Nov 2)
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Halloween came and gone, saw a nicely carved pumpkin
Midweek games saw lots of people huffin and puffin
21 goals in 2 terriffic thrillers, who saw that comin'
Could you imagine if these games actually meant somethin

Another blockbuser fixture awaits us, a match that's gonna' get sweaty
The showdown of the 2 best managers, both of whom are incredibly stealthy
One's got a huge mothr fkn head, the other has a very thin belly
Mancini vs. Allardyce, it's the battle of the wealthy and the unhealthy

Qpr face Reading who are comming from a loss that was simply amazing
This shd be QPR's tactic, go 4 nil down then come out guns blazing

Chelsea looked strong against Utd even though the margin was narrow
Did anyone else see the expressions on abramovich and shevchenko
Onto the Swans for the blues, the game shd provide a nice tempo
Hoping for a proper match, fair calls and no silly reds or yellow

Liverpool face the Toons who haven't won at Anfield in 20 something years
But Liverpool themselves have won only 3 of thier last 14 games here

After a poor performance midweek Liverpool need to come out and steam roll
Pretty clear who's in those envolopes, *cough* Downing, Henderson and Cole

Spurs will look to bounce back against Wigan after thier midweek bout
Sunderland vs Aston Villa, I will shoot myself if this game is sold out

(pause)

Everyone looks forward to the Arsenal Utd game, thier matches are always sublime
This fixture holds some fond memories but i'd 8 2 tell you what happened last time
Much has changed since that then, especially a certain striker in his prime
But the striker to watch is Rooney, if you don't know why just listen to this ryhme

He scored his first for Everton, his first for Utd and his 100th all against Arsenal
While we are rivals I'v got to say what he's done in this league is simply remarkable

Oh and apparently Messi's got a son. Thiago is the name he chose for his new kin
Let the assisted by Xavi, Terry's the father and Mancini/Wenger bid jokes begin

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3 - Champions League Review + Premier League Preview Poem (Nov 9)
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In La Liga niether Falcoa, Ronaldo or Messi put the ball in the locker
The Old Lady lost it's virginity in a controversial game of soccer
If you missed it, go watch highlights quickly or simply don't bother
Champions League returned delievering us some tense matches and a shocker

Dortmund looked impressive, Arsenal drew and City simply vented
City's loss was unfair but those two goals should have been prevented
Utd and Chelsea drew big wins and deserve to be complimented
Celtic gave barcelona a result like Mik Romney, unprecedented

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Spurs travel to City who are probably a bit more fresher
Match shd be good as both managers are under pressure

City have an impressive record against Spurs with 3 consecutive wins
Dembele will not feature, Spurs look a different side without him

United are comming from qualification and a good win against Arsenal
They will have to play out of thier socks at Villa, looks near impossible

Gunners face the 1st of two London Derbies, a win here would be very awesome
Giroud is heading into the right direction, like Henry when he rose to Stardom
Podulski however is heading backwards.... Actually he's not, that's the problem
Along with Wilshere's absence and wether Walcott will get a chance to blossum

Typical reaction to Chelsea's spendings: "money wh*res", "o my gosh"
B*tch please, just made 1. 4 million.... Profit like a boss!

Liverpool have won the last 4 league games against us in a row
But we did beat them in the FA cup final just in case you didn't know

Liverpool have always been a tough team for us, il give them that bit
This is a great game for kick racism cause everyone involved is in it

He was once a red that scored many agaisnt us, back then he was simply supreme
He's comming from a goal midweek and will look to fire against his old team

In the recent 7 years we'll be facing each other for the 30th time
League games were good, but our Champions League nights were simpyl sublime

Remember that infamous 05 game, I know you remember what that was about
2 years later they did us again, this time in a penalty shoot out

But we got our revenge in 08 where we would snatch the victory in overtime
Then came the 4-4 thriller, we beat Liverpool in the pinnacle of thier prime

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4 - Premier League Review Poem (Nov 13)
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*btw this one has a bit more trolololing then the usuals, and when I say 'lawn' I mean pitch (u'l get it when you read it)



On Nov 11th Messi scored the goal that left Pele frowning
Muller is next but don't worry Pele your still better than Downing

People keep saying a 2 goal lead is dangerous but a few also ask why
Just look at what happened this weekend, Do I really need to clarify?

City got an important win against Spurs as they continue thier roll
I bet Dzeko's substitution chart is an arrow pointing towards the goal

As a starter he averages. 43, as a sub he averages 2. 19 goals on the lawn
What City should do is wait 30 seconds after the game starts, then sub him on

On Saturday QPR's linup consisted of 11 different nationalalities, pretty extreme
Maybe that's the reason for thier poor start, lack of cohesion and low selfesteem
But that can't be it cause we see the same thing with the England national team
And thier all from 1 nation apart from Zaha and Sterling who could yet play downstream

Lets move onto everyone's favourite Club, Manchester United
When they went 2 nil down, the Referee said 'challenge accepted'

On a serious note they too had a game changing super sub
He gave United the win that Villa nearly snubbed

As a starter he averages. 6, as a sub he averages 1. 45 goals on the lawn
What United should do is wait 30 seconds after the game starts, then sub him on

Now onto Stamford brigde in a game Chelsea should have won
We did manage 1 point but Liverpool could have made us get none
Terry opened the scoring with Suarez equalizing to everyon's stun
Both were involed in a collision that certainly did not look fun

But Suarez seemed genuinly concerned about Terry which I found rather nice
He probably said 'sorry about your leg', and Terry responded 'sorry about your wife'

When RVP scored against his old club he didn't celebrate cause it wouldn't be correct
B*tch please, Torres didn't even score against his old club, that's what you call true respect

These are very entertaining mate, keep it up!

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5 - Premier League Preview Poem (and the ENG game) (Nov 16)
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So England played Sweden in thier new stadium
Its called the friends arena, shiny like radium

The name honours an anti bullying support group, sweeter than summer
After the match finished I certainly hoped Joe Hart had thier number

Europe was going head over heals over Ibra going head over heels
He broke the english hart, who's has been through these kinds of ordeals

Who nose if it will be goal of the year, if it isn't it'd be a shame
Cause he scored a goal that you can't even score in a bloody videogame

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Hughes and Atkins are in the last chance saloon, drinking away like there's no borders
If they can't drown thier sorrows with the next round, will they have given thier last orders?

Another steller weekend comming up, I can tell your excited by the grin above your chin
West Brom welcomes Chelsea, thier fans will be itching for this game to begin
Expect revenge at the Ethihad as City look to crush Villa from within
And ofcourse the managerial death match, both still searching for thier first premier league win

(pause)

Who will start for Utd against Norwich? , Van Persie and Chicharito I reckoned
If you want to make money bet Norwich for the first half, then Utd for the second

West Ham Stoke, I wonder how many times you will see the ball actually drop?
Who will 'stamp' thier authority and come out with thier 'head high' on top

Why are those words 'quoted' you ask? , just read the next line to uncover
Well Stoke do the first one, and West Ham's whole philosophy is the other

City were rumoured to be interested in Suarez, I bet you all know about this
Could you imagine if he did leave, I mean who would his teamates celebrate with?



Onto the big London Derby, Arsenal welcome Spurs
Both sets of fans are a bit unhappy with what has occured

Spurs will be missing Dembele, but Bale's always a storm
And don't forget that Arsenal have a striker in very good form

In the last 4 meetings at the Emrites, there has been 23 goals scored
Have a feeling that if Villas Boas loses he will be massivly roared

You have a world class keeper AVB, why is he playing second fiddle to an old nutt?
Should be an open game and one that Arsenal should try and not go 2 nil up

GL

You got talent mate, pretty impressed with the poems. Some are pretty damn funny as well

Why you don't post them no more