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How Many Five Year Olds Would It Take To Kill You?
Ant (Liverpool) 4 years ago


This is an interesting "pub game" that I often fall back on when pub chats fall quiet. It's a mental exercise. Imagine if you started at one end of a large room, say, a basketball court, and you had to make it to the far end of the room. The problem being that there were a certain number of five year olds in the way, all hell bent on killing you.

The question is not how many five year olds could you get through, the question is, how many would it take to kill you.

Think about it. They are small and individually easily bypassed, but together, they would be clinging onto your legs, tripping you up, biting, kicking, punching.


I'll start the game off by saying I think 15 five year olds could kill me. Once they tripped me or dragged me down, I'd be a goner
Fussball (Barcelona) 4 years ago
Really funny thoughts, it must be you Ant! Well just by imagining the way kids act if they are angry, lol and with kicking and punching, it gets worse. I think this game would rather become more of american footy or rugby say, me against a team of five year ol little devils.... Rofl
15 is a good number though
Adamaus (Manchester United) 4 years ago
1.... Being in a room with a kid for more then 5 minutes and i'd load a gun for him
Soccergal293 (Barcelona) 4 years ago
Lol nice topic a funny one too LOL, I'm not sure how many probably 5? 5 5 year old kids
TheTorresBounce (Liverpool) 4 years ago
Good question haha I could see that being a fruitful conversation topic in the pub! And I'd say 10, maybe 7 big year olds.... Wouldn't be a pretty sight that's for sure!
TheTorresBounce (Liverpool) 4 years ago
Or maybe just one if he doesn't get to watch his favorite tv program as I'm watching the pool, they can't half scream!
Soccergal293 (Barcelona) 4 years ago
Bwahahaha LOL
Raj (Chelsea) 4 years ago


When pure evil stares you in the face,all you can do is hope they are shorter than your waist.
I could see myself fighting off 10, 5 year olds for maybe 5 minutes at best,before I tire out.Once they take away my footing,I'm dead.The horror!



Lee (Kidderminster Harriers) 4 years ago
Hmmm, I'm going to up the stakes here:

The question is, how many small Korean blokes with sticks would it take to kill 1 angry small Korean bloke wielding a regular hammer?

Fortunately you don't have to strain your brain too hard on this one, as this particular scientific test has already been carried out.

Warning: Over 18s Only


(From the awesome movie OldBoy)
Raj (Chelsea) 4 years ago
Haha as soon as I saw that screen-cap, it had to be OldBoy! Pure awesomeness this movie, anyone seeking blood craving revenge should watch this. Erm, kids look the other way
Lee (Kidderminster Harriers) 4 years ago
Seriously one of the best films I've ever seen. Except for Forest Gump obviously
Alen (Liverpool) 4 years ago
Does he do all that fighting with a knife in his back? Lol
Charlie (Barcelona) 4 years ago
I luv yu jennyy
Lyndon (Panathinaikos Athens) 4 years ago
If I am fighting these Korean guys, then probably the same amount as this guy. I like the part where they are all on the floor, some don't know if they should stand up or sit down, and then crawl away, moaning in pain.... It would be fun to fight these guys, they would make it epic, even if I didn't have much skill, I would just have to take a knife in the back then they would be sufficiently shocked!
ManUK (Manchester United) 4 years ago
None, Just put a cardboard cut out of a five year old and I die from a heart attack...
Hill (Arsenal) 4 years ago
After much thought and deliberation, I decided it would take about 25 screaming, barbarian 5 year old children to bring me down. Why you might ask? I'm 6'6 with a large wingspan and long legs. I feel these defensive mechanisms would be sufficient to fight off the first 24, but the 25th would be a sneaky bastard and get me in the back
Lee (Kidderminster Harriers) 4 years ago
This little barsteward I assume?  
Hill (Arsenal) 4 years ago
Yep, that would be the one
Tony (footytube staff) 4 years ago
Feynoord? .... Is that a young dirk kuyt?
Lyndon (Panathinaikos Athens) 4 years ago
That are Paul Scholes after being shipped off to Manchester Academy
Yogan (Chelsea) 4 years ago
What kind of question is this ant? Lol I think about 10 but not armed I'm not exactly sure they could kill me :S awfully bizzare topic
Raj (Chelsea) 4 years ago
Question. Can the defendant use one of the 5 year olds as a club to hurl around at the others?
Hill (Arsenal) 4 years ago
I would say yes. I feel it would be unfair to the munchkins if we were to come into the battle armed. It would seem to be a bit different if we were to club them over the head with each other. But, this is Ant's thread, he's the boss
SergioRamos (Liverpool) 4 years ago
One. Chuckie D:
Alen (Liverpool) 4 years ago
But he's so cute    
ManUK (Manchester United) 4 years ago
LOL yes he'd get you
Donnchadh (Liverpool) 4 years ago
Ant I think you read too much into Lord of the Flies, I could see how this could come about at the pub though haha. Can they be armed little guys, I mean if they have machetes and scimitars I would probably be say one. Without any weapons I think it would probably take quite a few, I have watched enough Bruce Lee movies to fend off 15 or 20 of the little guys. One kick to the cajones and I am down for the count though, then you might as well stick a fork in me, I'm done
Ant (Liverpool) 4 years ago
Nope, unarmed for both you and the little terrors. They have all kinds of tricks, like one gets on all fours behind you and the others charge, so you stumble backwards onto the ground.

I'm starting to agree that you might manage to defeat about 20, but you'd be getting exhausted. There is definitely a limit for everyone, even a UFC champion. Eventually tiredenss and loads of little piranha like attacks will drain them
Tony (footytube staff) 4 years ago
What is it you were smoking again ant?
You definetly have too much time on your hands mate.... Lmao
I'm not sure my grandkids would be up for it, I know I'm not.
Although I have been known to kill as many as up to 48 kids over the duration of a football match, well you know what its like when your trying to watch the match
Donnchadh (Liverpool) 4 years ago
Haha Tony good one. I like the old school to Ant(when one gets on all fours and they push you over, also called the table top I believe. We just call it the old school, haven't done it to some one in quite some time haha) If they did that I would be screwed. And people are underestimating the kick to the baby makers. You would be done, those little kids are at a perfect height, bam! Your stomach is turning over, and at that point you want them to just end it. Gruesome idea in the first place though haha.

Again I think this was somehow inspired by William Golding Ant whether you knew it or not. It was subconscious or something but Lord of the Flies had a part in this pub game hahaa
Ant (Liverpool) 4 years ago
Just an update, they all charge at you together, not one at a time
Charliehenry (Arsenal Arsenal Arsenal) 4 years ago
Well honestly I don't think any amount could kill me not that I'm so strong but I am kinda and seriously cannot even imagine 50 weak 5yo being able to kill me. Weapon wielding 5 year olds that's a different story
Ant (Liverpool) 4 years ago
Not even 100, 000? Everyone has a number that would kill them. Consider even 1000. They could probably crush you
Hill (Arsenal) 4 years ago
I'm guessing 4 would kill you Charlie
Charliehenry (Arsenal Arsenal Arsenal) 4 years ago
HAHA I think you may have missed some zeros Hill

100, 000 I don't think so except from suffocation they can't all reach me at one time you guys I maybe skinny but not weak! Muhahahahaha.... Haaaaa *cough*
Tony (footytube staff) 4 years ago
Loopytube



   
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