Forums / Manchester United
Order: Newest / Oldest
The Best Rival Jokes
RedeD (Manchester United) 4 years ago
"Want to see my Premier League medal? Jk I don't have one"-Steven Gerrard
Superfanof (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Not bad
GingerPrince18 (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Quite an old one that you might have heard before but here it is:

Benitez sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to replace Michael Owen who had gone to Newcastle.

One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on the field he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When the lad comes off the pitch, he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hello mum, guess what? " he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won.

Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me".

"Wonderful, " says his mum. "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters while you were having a great time!"

With this news, the young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, except I'm so sorry".

"Sorry!" exclaims his mum. "It's your fault we all moved to Liverpool in the first ****ing place!"
EphToDaRhyme (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Haha killa!
FutureMUplayer (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Stan182 (Manchester United) 2 years ago
Lol what a twist in the end
Superfanof (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Wife:which shopping centre is the best in England dear.  Husband:Arsenal FC
Shiwa (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Husband: And remember, never go to Chelsea FC, its dangerous there
Superfanof (Manchester United) 4 years ago
"may I know where 2 get the best diving equipment"asked a friend of a RMfan. "Barcelona fc"he replied
Rkomupatd (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Good one
TheBresh (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Don't know if it has been said already but…    Rihanna should date a Liverpool player, they never beat anybody!
Watp90 (Manchester United) 4 years ago
When do Man City ever win any trophys.... Only once in a blue moon
Tdsmufan (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Hahahahaha that's hilarious mate! Good one!
Sanandasaps (Manchester United) 4 years ago
John Terry was not happy with refereeing on Sunday. So, Mark Clattenburg is not refereeing game this Saturday because FA has asked him to stay at his home, with his wife
Superfanof (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Dat's hilarious lol
MariusV (Manchester United) 4 years ago
If you see a liverpool fan on a bike, why should you not swerve to hit him?  It could be your bike    
Superfanof (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Son:father, would you please tell me what is the feeling of winning prizes.  Father:sorry son, we're liverpool fans
Prophet88 (Manchester United) 4 years ago
Look at this joke of a drunk shitty fans.

Dgrant117 (Manchester United) 4 years ago
This is an even funnier joke, life on the bench as a City player!:

Rockstar (Manchester United) 3 years ago
It's so difficult to win at Anfield, even Liverpool can't win there
Riajz (Manchester United) 3 years ago
I Just found this on our forum: ""Sir Alex Ferguson on Liverpool: "What's great is our young fans growing up don't remember when Liverpool were successful. "

Kick4Life - changing lives through football