Forums / Manchester United
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The Best Rival Jokes
Indifootball (Manchester United) 3 years ago
I was choosing a password for my pc, I tried ArsenalsDefence but apparently It was too weak...
Roo10ney (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Lol.... Hehe
Jujex 3 years ago
Gggggggooooooooooozzzzzzzzzyyyyy!
BlingBling (Barcelona) 3 years ago
Don't try liverpool defence or your computer will crash
Come510 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
And when you try CityDefence you computer will explode! LOL!Just kidding!No offensive!City defence is not bad!
Come510 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
And when you try CityDefence you computer will explode! LOL!Just kidding!No offensive!City defence is not bad!
Africanred (Manchester United) 3 years ago
And when you try 'jonny evans your computer will say ' NOT A VERY GOOD IDEA mate'
Aradhana17 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Lmaooo
Ruudrohit (Manchester United) 3 years ago
A United fan, a Liverpool fan and a Arsenal fan were caught by Saudi-Arabian police
And were sentenced to death. However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be.... Released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. The Sheikh allowed everyone of the fans a wish before taking the lashes, the Arsenal fan asked the seikh to tie a pillow in his back, but the pillow lasted only for 10 lashes. Liverpool fan asked the seikh to tie two pillows in his back though it only lasted for 15 lashes. The seikh then turned to the ManUtd fan and said “You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!” “Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful highness”, The ManUtd fan replies. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 200 lashes. ”
“Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave. “The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. “If 200 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be? ” the Sheik asks. “Please tie the Liverpool fan to my back. ”
FutureMUplayer (Manchester United) 3 years ago
LOL!
RMAforthewin (Real Madrid) 3 years ago
LOL were did you get that joke from
Ruudrohit (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Facebook
BlingBling (Barcelona) 3 years ago
Lol  
[account-removed] 3 years ago
Lol absolute gold
Teja7 (Liverpool) 3 years ago
He got that joke from Liverpool's thread. So original!
Stan182 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Haha funny
Ldinho (Manchester United) 2 years ago
HAHAHA
Vonrasmussen (Manchester United) 2 years ago
ROFL
Chafcouf93 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Why can't you get a cup of tea at the emirates?  Because all the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at old trafford
Redsince63 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Simple and true(ly)funny !Lol
Paytonred (Manchester United) 3 years ago
+1 lol....    Also for other jokes.... So funny.
Jujex 3 years ago
!
GuapoLindo (Manchester United) 3 years ago
@Jujex,?
Hezzaz (Manchester United) 3 years ago
What is the difference between a battery and a scouser?    A battery has a positive side
GuapoLindo (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Hahahaha.... Awesome!
Hezzaz (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Why do pigeons fly upside down in liverpool?    Because there is nothing worth shitting on
GuapoLindo (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Lol.... Well done mate!.... Love it
EphToDaRhyme (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Whats the difference between Liverpool and Lady-beetles? The Lady-beetles got more points...
EphToDaRhyme (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Whats the difference between a dead rat and a Scouser lying on the street? There's a skid-mark in front of the rat...
Chafcouf93 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Lol hahahahaha brilliant
Riajz (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Hahahahaha.... This one made my day
Anhad (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Just found out that our training shirt sponsor DHL, actually stands for Do Hate Liverpool
Riajz (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Lol Indeed
Chafcouf93 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
How do you post pics?  
Ruudrohit (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Arsenal have apparently set up a call centre for fans who are troubled by their current form.

The number is 0800 10 10 10.

Calls charged at peak rate for overseas users.

Once again the number is

0800 won nothing won nothing won nothing
Ruudrohit (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Anyone know Liverpool's fav song?
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Bryan Adam's "18 till I die"
Chafcouf93 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Hehe that's a facht
[account-removed] 2 years ago
That's funny though
Come510 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Guyid you watch the Arsenal match?

Another guy:Arsenal is full of guns how do they play match?


Guy:No, the football club

Another guy: Arsenal is full of guns, how can be football club?

Guy:ARSENAL football CLUB!

Another guyhhh.... You mean Arsenal FC, be more specific....

Guy:I'm frustrated at you >_
[account-removed] 2 years ago
Not fuuuuunny
Madridista174 (Real Madrid) 2 years ago
Not even close to being funny
Come510 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Anfield?  A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Old Trafford
Stan182 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Copy of the post above aye =/
Come510 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Nah I searched for it on Google!
Africanred (Manchester United) 3 years ago
I just read this on bleacher report and I think its hilarious!

The world's fastest man, Olympic gold medalist and world record holder Usain Bolt, once visited a Manchester United training session. Apparently, he gave Cristiano Ronaldo some tips on how to sprint faster—something the Winker took to heart when he ran away to the Santiago Bernabeau
Riajz (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Hahahahahahahaha this is the most silly but funny joke so far LOL.
Stan182 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Old one

Rafael Benitez: "Our new Winger cost five million. I call him our wonder player"

Sir Alex Ferguson: "Why's that? "

Rafael Benitez: " Every time he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"
Stan182 (Manchester United) 3 years ago

A young lad asks his mum where his new Liverpool top is.

"I washed it and it's drying on the line. "

The young lad rushes to the window to see his beloved Liverpool top lying in the mud.

"Mum, why is my Liverpool top in the mud? "

His mum looks out of the window and shouts, "The thieving gits have nicked the pegs again!"
Chafcouf93 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Hahahahahaha that's gold ! Good one stan !
Chafcouf93 (Manchester United) 3 years ago
Edit: double post



   
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