Forums / The Terrace: Casual Footy Banter
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A To Z
Alexinho (AC Milan) 2 years ago
This is a forum where we can make all our A to Z articles about anything we would like to. It is a little time taking but if you care to make an effort into it. It could be well fun. As an example I will just post the one about Balotelli first.
Later I will make similar stories about Milan, Bielsa, Zlatan, BPL, Serie A, Santos, Brazil, World Cup, Maldini and so on but I hope there is more people that will make their own stories so that I can read those as well
Alexinho (AC Milan) 2 years ago
Mario Balotelli




Early Life
He is original born in Palermo by Ghanian immigrants before being adopted away to Francesco and Silvia Balotelli by his original family. He would here grow up

Trials
He would in an age of 15 travel to Spain and the city of Barcelona for making a trial for their club. This would not be a successful trial and it didn't go long before he was refused and sent back to Milano. Something that Inter sure was happy with looking back at history now.

Inter - The beginning
He would here have his debut in 2007 but more significant was probably his 2nd match for them which was in the cup match against Reggina where he scored not once but twice in their firm 4-1 win. And it didn't end here, in the quarter finals return leg vs Juventus he would once again field the pitch and get his name on the scoresheet twice and thereby get attention from the National squad as well. The talent was now being recognized more and more over whole Italy and media would also find to value him for what he was worth.

Let the stories begin

A - Aguero's gloves
In the warm up time before their top match against Chelsea Mario Balotelli had forgot to bring his gloves out from the dressing room. But as we know our dear Balotelli, this was not a problem without a solution so what would this solution be? Then it was revealed. As Aguero were busy knitting his shoelaces (which he took of the gloves to do) Balotelli did a small warmup jog snatching them from the ground to take them on and smirking as Balotelli can




Be - Boys will be boys
Before the match against Arsenal, Balotelli would find himself in an intense discussion with Richards. This would involve to a boxing match but don't worry, in the after match interview, Mancini could assure the worried journalists that in reality Micah Richards are indeed good friends and almost like twins






See - Camorra-Mafia
Balotelli is also a huge fan of the Gomorrah. And I must say, I did like it as well. Balotelli was so inspired by this movie that he would decide to take a trip the city where the most of this movie was shot. Naples. Reports tells that he here would be in contact with members of the actual Mafia here and get a personal guiding tour to the factory where they produce Cocaine. Same reports claims that he would be investigated by the police in this incident where they came to the conclusion that he wasn't involved in any other way than just being a curious spectator and let him go free.
Here is a trailer of the movie which inspired to this entertaining story




D - Darts
Who of us did not smile the day we opened the newspaper and could read the titles in the sports section. "balotelli fined FOR throwing darts AT THE youngsters" "balotelli found NEW target practice" and rest of them. I know I did not just smile but actual laugh surprised. And that is the main reason I love the boy so much. Where as others try to be somewhat different but ends up being the same with scandals like "Cheating with team mates wife - having a prostitute - driving and drinking and so on" Balotelli really do something new when he make the headlines in the newspaper. Each day we open them and want to know what his latest stunt is. For many it started with these darts story. It all happened at the academy of City and Balotelli were bored so he thought with himself, what could make this day slightly more interesting. What about throwing darts at the youngsters in their practice? So thought so done. A spokesman for the club could calm down the fans and mothers of the youngsters assuring that nobody got to harm in the incident




E - Enoch
Enoch is one of the brothers of Balotelli. Can a city even handle more than one Balotelli seems like a legit question here. I think the answer is pretty much given as it most likely can't even handle the original one. Along with Enoch, Mario would be curious how it would be inside a woman prison. Sounds like the pair been spending their time on the internet as well if you get my drift. Anyway this curiosity would literary drive them through the gates of a woman prison in Italy. They would then explain for the police that they thought they could visit it without making arrangement. The police would in the end conclude with the simple fact that the pair might actually be this naive and let them go. We in the publicity would now have a new well entertaining story to read among all the transfer rumors with no base in reality in our sports papers.

F - [you guessed it] Fireworks
Who can't remember it? The most rememberable story of his life and perhaps the only one where he wasn't to be blamed in reality. One day he would have some friends over at his apartment and apparently one of them would consider it a good idea to fire up some fireworks in his bathroom and as we all know, it ended the only way it could end. The fireworks worked and fire it was. Apartment got burned down and Balotelli would have to move into a hotel room for the night. I only wonder how the people at the Hotel would react as they got to know why he would need a room for the time being, I sure know I would been skeptical about renting a room out if I were the owner. Okay I lied, I let him stay for free if he came to my door

Oh and as the guy he is, he sure knew how to extend the story. Who would be a better front figure to promote safety rules around fireworks than Balotelli? The man blamed for putting fire to his won apartment burning it down?




G - Grass allergy
Yeah, a footballer with grass allergy, sounds unlikely but if it could be anyone, it was destined to be THIS guy. Balotelli. The match is against Dinamo Kiev and at half time Balotelli have to sub out. The reason? His face has swollen up. After the match Mancini explained that Balotelli would have an instant reaction just before the 2nd half was to start and this was when his face would swollen up. He would realize he could not keep playing and Mancini was forced to do the sub or play with 10 men in 2nd half. He was later informed by Balotelli that it was the grass allergy. This has also been happening in a match for Inter in the past and that is about the only reason that the story about his allergic might have some truth in it.

H - Harley Davidson
For christmas Balotelli thought he should buy himself a well deserved gift and went for a motor bicycle. Mancini who was a little more concerned what a man like Balotelli + a bike would = found it better to let the answer be a ? For the time being and set his foot down. Balotelli were not allowed to take use of his new earned gift and perhaps that was just as fine. After all, we don't want him to make an end to these stories? This seems more safe for time being.





I - Icon
And not just in lifestyle but also dressing way. This could be taken just of the catwalk in Milano and who knows, maybe he has done that?




J - Joe Hart
Under a training session Balotelli found Joe Harts effort at saving his shot funny and took the time to imitate it.




K - Kind intentions
A month after the fireword incident, Balotelli would return to his home to pick up some of his belongings. A kind neighbour who was unfortunate to not recognize Balotelli and had the best meanings would here call the Police and warn them about a burglar robbing poor Balotellis house. Once again he would get a meeting with the police of London and had to explain why he was robbing his own apartment. Everything worked out fine as they recognized the footballer and the story is put behind them with no hard feelings between the 2.


L - Luke Short
In Manchester City christmas party, Balotelli would show up as a bandit. This wasn't even close to be the worst costume of the party as Wayne Bridge came as Ozzy Osbourne and Sergio Aguero as Harry Potter. - Not all letters can have as funny stories but I will look into it and perhaps edit a better one later






M - Money money money
Balotelli was out with his car and driving when he suddenly got pulled over by the police. He would here being questioned why he had 5000£ and his response? "Because I am rich". Simple yet priceless.

And - Night Club action
Maybe another of the urban stories as it has not been verified. It happened outside a nightclub of Liverpool. Balotelli got in a situation with 4 of the security guards outside a club and were spotted smiling while one of them were hammering his car. Reason? He would not obey the "No Touching" rule

Oh - Obstacles
Mario Balotelli would also have problem in dressing himself on occasion and putting a bib on seemed to be a real obstacles for him. His frustration, our laughs for the day:




P - Parking tickets.
After his move to Manchester a certain business are suddenly making significant more money than before his arrival. I am here talking about those responsible for how we park our cars in the cities. Many of us have received a parking ticket or two, personally I got 3 and am lucky it hasn't been more. Still we are no match to Balotelli. He has since he moved to City got parking tickets which combined has an amount of more than £10 000. Good thing he can afford them. The reason is simple, he doesn't care about the tickets. After all we only live once. And park his cars wherever he feels like stopping.


Q - Quick sub
In preseason, City would have a friendly match with LA Galaxy and they were suppose to show of the football and making the brand look good in USA attracting more american audience to the game. Balotelli would of course try to take it even one more step up being the player he is. So when been sent alone through by Silva with goalie, will a simple shot around the goalie satisfy a mind like his? Not the SuperMario we know. No he has to do a Zidane trick shot. The result? A quick sub after the shot is been taken by Mancini. You can see why it is always him in this video:



Are - Rooney rooney rooney.
Balotelli was at a restaurant eating with some friends when he suddenly recognized a face in the restaurant. The person? The prostitute who Rooney had an affair with some months ago now. According to the article she was heading for the ladies room and he would for the time being leave her alone. But when done there coming back to her table? That is where our story begins. Balotelli would start in middle of the restaurant chanting "Roo-Ney Roo-Ney Roo-Ney" and keep this up for a while until her date for the night would get tired and they would settle it up outside. According to the same articles, they did amazingly enough not settle it with a fight as one should suspect in such a situation but rather a civil tone.

S - School
Another warm story about the man which (to me) is impossible to hate. This time it is about a project in Africa. He has decided to donate some of his money to build a school in Sudan. It is a friendship with a former Child soldier there which lead to him deciding to spend money here. Kon Kelei would tell him about his past and Balotelli would be so touched that he would go into this project. But as the Balotelli we know, it had to be an extra twist in it. Apparently to the article, this time it was to name this school after himself. A school named Mario Balotelli. Mind you, this is an article published before Christmas. Balotelli supported this and in the right way by building instead of supporting the hunting before KONY got popular. Respect!


Link: www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/news/Manchester-City-stri...

T - Tattoo



You - Urban story
Yet again there is a new urban story about his kindness. Apparently Balotelli were in the happy mood as he got out of the Casino after a winning night and would give away a handful of the winnings to a random homeless. What seems more true then is the reports that Balotelli often buy the Magazine "Big Issue" by the less fortunate when he meets them for £20 arround in the city of Manchester.

V - Vengeance
After the FA cup title City won, Balotelli would asked for some time of to go home to Italy visiting some family members while rest of the squad was celebrating with the fans in the streets of Machester. Apparently when back in Milano, he paired up with his brother Enoch and they went out in town throwing water balloons at bypassers in the streets of Milan, among them some journalists. And once again we got to read the story


W - Why Always Me
We all heard the phrase. The one that are now the very definition of Balotelli. He always seems to be in the spotlight, but unlike him, we all realize why. It is simple Balotelli, because you are not just different, but also original. And you DO have alot of potential in football. And we all, even many United supporters have admitted so, love it. And what a timing to use this? Less than 24 hours after getting you apartment burned down, you scored twice and that in the Manchester derby? That was when I was convinced that you are indeed a genius, perhaps a misunderstood genius, but aren't all geniuses misunderstood in their time? I won't say I understand you and are different, but I sure do appreciate your stories.



X - The X-factor
He would have won it.

Why - Young mans quotes
“England is far ahead of the rest in terms of stadia and far behind in terms of its media. They are just trash.”

(On Jack Wilshere)"What's his name? Wil something? I don't know him. I'll look out for him next time we play against Arsenal. Maybe I'll show him the trophy and remind him that I'm the one who won it."

(On Wayne Rooney) "He's good, but he is not the best in Manchester."

"Mourinho is the best coach in the world, but as a man he still needs to learn manners and respect."

Roberto Mancini said: "Every day I fight against Mario and sometimes I would like to give him a punch."

"There's only one that is a little stronger than me: Messi. All the others are behind me."(Later he also added Zlatan and Ronaldo to that list)




Z - Zupporter

My favourite as last one. He is a Milan fan and admitted so in the press on several occasions. And now that City seems to have lost their ability to see what kind of asset he really is, please follow your feeling and ship him out now. Ship him out fast. Ship him to where he belongs - AC. Milan!
He was a Milan supporter even while playing for Inter and in an certain interview he wore a Milan shirt for the fun of it. Great boy with great mind and will do great things once he come to his home. Let him come now!





Afterwords:

Balotelli - if you read this, please promise me one thing. Never change. Football need your kind sorely!



Alexinho (AC Milan) 2 years ago
AC Milan

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ManOnDMoon (Manchester City) 2 years ago
Lol Alexinho why do you think he'd win the x factor? You are so passionate you nearly make me want to give you Balo but no, you can't have him
ArnabFORZAMILAN (AC Milan) 1 year ago
LOL! WE HAVE HIM!
ManOnDMoon (Manchester City) 1 year ago
Haha I see this one fired back and bite me in the ass
Northgreen (AC Milan) 1 year ago
It was always a matter of time, not if.
ManOnDMoon (Manchester City) 1 year ago
A matter of time since early 90's?


ManOnDMoon (Manchester City) 1 year ago
I'm not sure what team his brother supported
ArnabFORZAMILAN (AC Milan) 1 year ago
Amazing post! Simply amazing! HATS OFF!
Peteko 1 year ago
One of the best posts I have read in Footy for quite a while.    Thanks Alexinho
Rubin (Inter Milan) 1 year ago
Tl;dr.
Northgreen (AC Milan) 1 year ago
Tl;dr summary

This is Balotelli. Kneel to the dust and cover your head, Vote for him for the next pope and enjoy the show. You don't want to miss 1 second of this guys life



   
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