And with my mind you will disappear Sir Alex, never again to defy me a place in the starting lineup where I clearly belong

Giggs considers new glasses when even the gaffers nose becomes a blur

I can't believe Sir Alex used my deodorant!

It would appear Sir Alex's experiment in time travel was going wrong.

Little did Giggs know Alex had met his parents stole their scotch and stopped them mating

Haha, good one Matt!

Use the force Giggsy! Use the force!

You know what I just noticed? Is that Gigg's hand behind fergies head? No, right? Dam.... My star wars reference fails...

Can you smell what Giggs' cookin'?

What is Sir Alex chewing again? Should be chewing gum, what flavour is it? Cola?

"gotta find a way to succeed alex"

Silent killer

"The time has come and you should go back to where you belong, Ferguson"

Giggs' holiday at Glastonbury was catching up with him...

Cole : '' I got a wife and 2 children please I'm not gay''

Get off me you two. I'm taking the small guy

If I wanted to be surrounded by young naked men, I'd go to one of Ronaldos parties again

Are you by any chance a female stripper?

Fan: Carlton, can I have your top please I'm skint  Fan 2 running in: no, wait, I need a top too  Fan 3: I just want your shorts

Look guys I told you before, I'm not gonna' try out for Chipendales'

Please let me go

Not in public

Fans: Carlton, since you have inspired us in football, allow us to inspire you with our Herculean strength in wrestling

"FFS - no I'm not sol campbell"

Huyyyyyy--aaaaaaaaaaaaa goin Bruce lee on your ass

DIE FOOL! Don't ever tackle me like that again!

You are a disgrace to this place, the human race and outer space!

My football-fu is stronger than yours, prepare to die!

What did you say about Cantona ?  

West Ham school of football excellence celebrates it latest graduates

Swear God I was going for the ball

Everybody was kung fu fighting da da da da da da da da da

Kung-Fu Football never stops! Even till today, when Bruce Lee is long dead!

On pitch entertainment.... Argentine Style!

"Sorry, I was training my new style of kung-foot-ball but you appeared in front of me suddenly, so I just took the opportunity to try it out on you. "

"Mum tell him.... Noooooo it's my turn next on the bouncy castle"

Interviewer regrets saying Chelsea can't attack from the back as Terry looks for a gap in the defence

Bow chicka bow wow

100% proof Chelsea has the best Defence!

Lampard ensures that the interviewer doesn't ask any personal questions

Interviewer: Lampard, how do you manage to train day in day out  Terry: because this is what he gets as a reward

Lampard said, "Never ever try to attack or insult me, otherwise, JT, my good pal, will bring you down"

First for news: the intrepid roving reporter cuts in on the goal celebration

Chelsea's new strong-arm tactics on controlling the media

Oh they we're like this big man.... No not mine you fool

Push those tits forward - Lucas and Babel into attack!

Where is Alonso? .... I don't know!

She's got huge tracts of land!

I saw Jordan this morinng, and this is what she did...

Benitez is recovering his health problem using the traditional Chinese kung-fu way

And tonight Matthew, I'm going to be Luciano Pavarotti

Ronaldo pays the price for crying wolf too many times...

After diving one too many times, FIFA rule Ronaldo must play the full 90 minutes laying face down to save time

I can't wait for 2012 so I can quit football and dive at the Olympics!

So, this way no one will see I've got a hard one for Guti...

Oh.... I've fallen again

What do you mean I have to dive after I get a tackel

Ref:"Enough Ronaldo!The match hasnt kicked off yet and you are diving already!"

It's so near, yet so far

Not one to miss a photo shoot, Ronaldo slides in as he spots a cameraman taking snaps of the football

"See Moyes, I'm unhappy Here, I want to Leave"

I hear standards are low in Manchester, hmm oh yeaaaa

I hear the standards for the footytube Silly captions thread have gone way down.... Hum lets see.... What can we do about it? - Ooouch brain freeze! Don't think, just take the money and go!

I'll finally gonna' get the money to fix up those scars

I should invest in a moustache comb...

Hmm ben what can we do about it? Yours was a real belter I might add

Scarface wants to lick some Punani

Hughes you dumb s**t, why didn't you start me in the starting 11!

"I come in Peace.... "

"Errr.... I think it's time for me to shave my moustache"

Lescott goes to a Star Trek Convention:    "Live long and prosper Captain"  "Thank-you Lieutenant Worf"

"I was that close to the p***y when it attacked me, hence the scar. (Scarface refrence)

"Does this make me look like a girl? Makeup is next"

And for my next disguise, a moose.... Goes with my playing style

Man I don't know how the Joker makes his make up well at least I tried

Carras low-budget Snoop Dogg impression caused an awkward silence

Its alive! Its alive!

Devil, Get outta' my head!

Due to his injury, he is unable to play football currently and intends to work as a part-time clown instead

In true scouse style, carragher nips off to rob a bank during half time

Man why is my wife's panty hose so itchy?

Why is my Finger bending? Am I in the Matrix?

Hey I think I need some nail polishing, my nail looks ugly

Hey I think I need some nail polishing, my nails looks ugly

Talk to the hand because the head is not scoring I mean listening

"I thought I am invincible but my fingers are bleeding after touching the grass on the field, is the grass made of Kryptonite? "

Move over Maradona - this is the hand of drog  

Samuel etoo return at the copa del rey
Guardiola : '' What the hell are you doing here? Get back where you came from there no place for you here
Etoo : '' are you kiddin me Inter are never gonna' to win the champions league I'm back !

Just get the f**k out...

See that plane, Italian airways... Get your ass on that flight right now or The Special One will be most displeased

Haha, Charlie's quote is one that fits this pic perfectly

Go and sit down on the Inter Milan bench

What? I play for Milan, I thought you were kidding me...

Milan is that way!

Eto thought he is already in Inter's squad, so he attacked his Barcelona team instead

''Quiet people I'm searching for the right place to dive it demands high concentration ''

Drogba asks for one minute of silence for Tom Henning Øvrebø, though nothing happened to him. Yet

Sssshhhh! I can hear the sound of hair flapping in the wind!

Drogba requires silence to chant out a spell that will help him to remain as a goal scorer of all time

This stinks

Alonso see you in hell !

Smells like rotten Liver pool up in here

Hmm.... The situation is not looking very fine, I gotta' tell Mascherano to slide tackle Young and Agbonlahor till they are injured

Rafa is going to punish the Aston Villa squad with his secret yet unpleasant weapon for making his boys sweat.

Ronaldo: £80m? I would've come here for free to be able to see him

$80 million worth of product and he still has better hair than me

Do you mind my hand being there...

Ronaldo : After all these years I finally found the ONE AND ONLY LOVE OF MY LIFE.
KaKa : As soon as the referee blows the final whistle i'll lodge a complaint for visual harassment

You sound Edible.... I mean Audible!

Reals' new 2 headed monster kakanaldo! Watch out Tokyo!

Ronaldo: You gotta' nice hairdo, I think I'm gonna' change it to your style

Ronaldo:"Are you interested in my joining my diving school mate? "

(whispers) kaka you know we are up 3-0, wadda ya think about heading to the showers early?

"Kaka, you know what, I am your great fan and going to be your colleague, so do you mind telling me how you make your facial looked that cool and not charging me a single cent for that info? "

Ronaldo Thinks:Look at him feeling so smug, my hair is miles better.
Kaka Thinks: He's monging again gees thank god I rejected man city I woul be embaressed every day by him walking past m monging.

I'm telling you, keep pinching and milk comes out  

You're right, those ARE different sizes

Player in white: wow you must work out

Yeah man! He just bit it right off! I told Cristiano he could only nibble!

Look, I'm pregnant!.... Players: No way!

Player in black: do you think I should make them bigger  Player in white: wait let me have a feel

Touch my boobs

Do you guys wanna see my tits? I think it's getting smaller and smaller everytime I chest controls. Ok let me pinch it until it's big enough. *Two players passed by* One player said: "OMG! You gotta' touch his tits, Ima queueing up after him " The other player said: " No way! I am the one after him!" Argument continues

"See what I have here which I don't think you have, and examine it if you don't believe but let me examine yours after you have done on mine. "