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Eat Nonsense: Project Blue Moon
Scottie (Manchester City) 7 years ago
Eat Nonsense: Project Blue Moon

It has long been suspected in certain conspiracy theory circles, that Michael Fish the Weatherman is a 33rd degree Mason and works for the Illuminati Elite, his number was up the night of The Great Storm in 1987 when Fish uttered those fateful words
"Earlier on today, apparently, a woman rang the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way; well, if you're watching, don't worry, there isn't"

Later that evening some 18 people lost their lives and 15 million trees were brought down in the biggest hurricane to hit UK shores for 100 years

It became obvious that Michael had taken orders to spread this dis-information inorder to endanger peoples lives and to further the New World Orders global de-population plan.

But Fish disappeared quick sharp from television screens not long after that and has not been seen again in public since, this has only helped fuel speculation about his reptilian bloodline ancestory and the real motives behind his deeply symbol riddled innaccurate weather forecast.

The pyramids the triangles illuminati arrgghhh

Ever since someone posted the question "Where the f**k is Michael Fish" in the "Isn't Weather Brilliant" thread, it has become apparent that this is one the hottest unanswered questions on footytube - and as we're not known for letting down our loyal members, we felt it our duty to send one of our on crack team of reporters out to finally track down Mr Fish.

What we uncovered, none of us was prepared for and neither too will be the universe.

Whilst researching public bars and nightclubs that Mr Fish was known to once frequent, we amazingly managed to obtain photographic evidence that...
Alex Ferguson is an Intercontinental Weather Manipulating Mind Control Agent

what we thought was celebrity weathergirl Ulrika Johnson innocently rolling around with a drunken Michael Fish mask wearing partgoer - revealled upon closer inspection to be the moment of the henous handbag crime that rocked the footballing world

A damning photograph found its way into our possesion later that evening which clearly shows what we believe to be Alex Ferguson and Michael Fish deep into sordid negotiations on some sort of luxury yacht somewhere in the pacific islands. Our horror was confirmed, when we discovered on the flipside of the photo, Mr Fish had penned what appeared to be a love letter to Ulrika Johnson

It reads “Dearest Ulrika ka ka,

Ever since 1984 when our eyes first meet across the BBC canteen, my heart has been infatuated. I believe devine intervention sent Mr Ferguson and his evil Project Blue Moon plan to my tiny deserted pacific island. I have spent the last 20 years of my life developing my weather manipulating machine, but would do it all again if it meant I could swap it for another night of passion with you. However deep down inside I know we could never be together, for no woman would ever want to be lumbered with the married name Ulrika Fish
-until we meet again. M x”

Piecing what evidence we have together, it has become clear to us that Alex Ferguson now has Weather Manipulating powers - and because the Manchester City v Manchester United Carling Cup semi final clash last Wednesday was so suddenly abandoned due to heavy snow fall, coupled with the facts that Man United have no defence and were publically humiliated at the hands of lowly Leeds United last week

We have no choice but to think -
Alex Ferguson has teamed up with Michael Fish and is now in total control of the worlds weather systems and he's using his powers for crimes against football

The intial shock of this horrendous act of football cheatery has sent shock waves through the celebrity world, here is just a sample of some recent quotes we have been receiving....

“It’s bloody terrible, i’ve had to buy new long johns because of this....” Jack from Coronation Street

Jacks friend Kevin Webster is another well known Mason

“i always knew that Fish was a slippery customer....” - Fergal Sharkey (singer)
“Looks like Fish got well ripped off, you can usually get Ulrika for a bottle of Bacardi and the price of a taxi home” John Leslie (tv presenter)
“It is good for me - I have scarf” Roberto Mancini

It looks as though the wickedness and cheating is over Sir Alex, give yourself up, do the right thing, walk away pal, walk away from the intercontinental weather manipulating machine....
- a copy of this dossier is being made available to the BBC Weather Centre, the F.A.
The Police and John Cravens Newsround
Tony (footytube staff) 7 years ago
Was lord lucan and shergar the famous missing racehorse below decks on that yacht?
Even though I am an avid follower of manchester united, if there is any truth in this latest scandal about fergie controlling the weather, I think its only right and fair that he recieves one right up the gritter.
Great thread scottie, and theres everyone blaming mother nature, who would have believed it.
I think all of us here on footytube should show great appreciation to scottie and his team of footytube sleuths, or should that be sloths? .... Anyway.... We thank you
Lee (Kidderminster Harriers) 7 years ago
Ulrika Fish? In close circles, I hear that's what all her ex-blokes refer to her as anyway.

I do miss the fishmeister though. No need for fancy weather graphics back in those days (or even accurate weather prediction). Just glamorous Fish full of charm and oozing sex appeal.

Put together, him, Fred Talbot (off of the This Morning Weather Map), and Brandreth, and you have a recipe for the finest serial babe snagging, team of womanising lotharios, that Britain has ever put together.

Tony (footytube staff) 7 years ago
You been at the carlsberg again lee?
Lee (Kidderminster Harriers) 7 years ago
I hadn't finished (it got, erm, better?). *Hic
Tony (footytube staff) 7 years ago
Uncanny resemblences lee, mmm, I suppose its a case of lock up your daughters, with studs like that on the lose
Scottie (Manchester City) 7 years ago
While we are it, I must mention Fred Dibnah who in my opinion probably played his part in bringing down the twin towers - raking in a fortune from the US government no doubt?

Here he is demolishing his 90th chimney.... Hmmm?
Check the symbology at 0.02 and 6.01 he was deffo a grandmaster mason

Raj (Chelsea) 7 years ago
Haha this thread is pure genius.Although I have no clue Mr.Fish existed before now,I wouldn't be surprised if Fergies' got a weather controlling switchboard.

Those damn masons,always up to diabolical master-plots.Maybe Fergie is a part of the Masonry?All the years in Manchester, just to throw people off from who he really is.The perfect cover.

Tony (footytube staff) 7 years ago
Fergie would need some size of watch strap for picture number 1.... Lol....
Dr who ferguson, controling time and weather, looks like a case of back to the future.... !
Scottie (Manchester City) 7 years ago
Raj you are so right - maybe fergie is a member of the Illuminati Elite afterall, and right under our noses....

Damn those pesky masons (shakes fist)

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