The transfer window is now officially open and it brings with it a month of utter madness with rumours and speculation aplenty, as Fleet Street and plenty of websites look to cash in on our utter addiction to what is fondly known as the ‘silly season’ in football. While it is certainly hard to predict who will be going where, and which transfer coups are likely to be pulled off, there are 10 things that you can guarantee will happen in the next coming weeks.

10: Arsene talks the talk, but doesn’t walk the walk – There is no manager better than old Wenger when it comes to building up supporter’s hopes with talk of new signings, before he pulls the rug from under them claiming there is plenty of quality among the Arsenal ranks. Wenger will talk up the likes of the Hazard’s and Gotze’s of this world, but the reality is that none of them will be joining the Gunners in January.

9: Robbie Keane will join his boyhood club – A regular occurrence in every transfer window the Irishman will declare his love of his new employers. Keane should realise that it is goals that supporters want to see, not a fake allegiance.

8: Harry thinks everyone is ‘triffic’ – Almost as certain as Harry sitting in his Range Rover talking to Sky’s Gary Cotterill through his car window on deadline day, is that he will talk up players he wishes to potentially sign. Of course Harry will tell us that he doesn’t like to comment on other club’s under contract players before he delivers his fabled line. Harry also will make it known that transfers have nothing to do with him and it is all down to Daniel Levy.

7: A ridiculous transfer fee paid out – Last January saw the transfer fees border on the ridiculous and if Villa paying £24m for Darren Bent wasn’t bad enough, then Carroll and Torres combined £85m fees did little but underline the feeling of managers that it is a bad time to do business. Expect the same to happen this January with Chelsea and Manchester City being the likely suspects this January.

6: Sneijder to Manchester United – A transfer window wouldn’t be the same without a link.

5: Burning effigies or shirts – You can guarantee at least one will take place, as supporters take advantage of some airtime as a Sky Sports (complete with big winter coat) reports outside the club stadium looking to gauge supporter opinion after the respective horse has bolted.

4: January window criticised – The manager’s favourite line in January press conferences is to bemoan the transfer window and suggest that it is a bad time to do business; although the biggest moaners (Mick McCarthy anyone) end up bringing in 3 or 4 players.

3: ITKs out in force on club forums – ITK’s (in the know) fester on every club forum and generally work on a success ratio of around 1 in 10. They apparently know someone close to the club, or have a relation who works at the hospital where clubs do their respective medicals. The reality is most of them no nothing and brings very little to the transfer table.

2: Sky Sports Yellow ticker goes into overdrive – Expect to see the yellow banner in overdrive this January as SKY attempts to keep viewers glued to their 24hr news channel. They take advantage of supporter’s addiction to a rumour and spurt out a lot of guff; mostly from things they have read from ITKs or things they have heard from their array of half-wit reporters that they have working for them.

1: Disappointment – Let’s be honest the transfer window promises so much and ultimately delivers so little for football clubs. Supporters are left frustrated and in some cases feel cheated by their club’s inability to strike a deal before the 31st January deadline.

Well that’s my 10 and I’m sure there are plenty more you can add to the list.

Blog by Josh Whittle

Problem is, good clubs playing in the championsleague already have a good squad. They would need worldclass players, and all of them have already played championsleague football this season.
Why would anyone join a relegation candidate? They are better of dreaming about premierleague football the following season and sitting on the bench for half a year

PHOTOSHOPPED!

Here's a new one for you. QPR to be linked with hundreds of players that would cost their entire budget and then end up signing one or two that no one else wants for under £3m

Made me LOL, seriously made my morning. Great writing

There are probably also going to be a lot of panic-buys from clubs on the deadline day

Sneijder would go to manchester city    That all ways happen in fifa 12 carrer mode

AIG. Lol is it that easy to see that this is fake

Seems like nobody knew about Link: images.google.com/, This is Michael Owen. Hint: Save the Sneijder pic in your computer and upload in given website. You will see your result. Simple

A stupendous article to be absolutely truthful. F*cking spot on. I'd also like to add:

Arsene Wenger rejects all rumours and ideas regarding a potential move for a player and ultimately the player is purchased at the very last minute of deadline day and is viewed smiling with his shiny new gunners jersey alongside Le Prof himself