Forums / Euro 2012
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Can't Hit A Barn Door With A Banjo
Araz (Queens Park Rangers) 2 years ago
The 2012 European Championships have gotten off to a flying start, 12 games in we’re yet to see a 0-0 draw and only two of those games have ended without both sides getting on the score sheet, and even those games were pretty cracking viewing.

With an average of 2.75 goals per game so far we’re on course for this to be the highest scoring European Championships since 1976 and the highest ever in the current format of the competition yet there could have been so many more goals had a few world beaters not done a BA Baracus with their shooting boots.

Amongst the flurry of goals some new stars, like Russia’s Alan Dzagoev have been born, and some fading ones like Ukraine’s Shevchenko rekindled in glorious fashion but the focus of this article is on the football fans favourite form of torture, the “what could have been”.

Aleksandr Kerzhakov
With a career record of 128 goals in 293 games, and 19 goals from his 28 league starts for Zenit last season Kerzhakov was the top scoring Russian in the national league and tipped by a few in the know (well Matt of footytube fame anyway!) as a good each way bet for tournament top scorer, he certainly had the right credentials but has only succeeded in breaking one major record so far. In Russia’s first game against the Czech Republic he managed to notch a scintillating 7 shots off target in just 73 minutes, a new record for a single player in a singe game at the Euro Finals, just imagine how much more he could have achieved if he’d had those extra 17 minutes of game time.

Roman Pavlyuchenko who has played just 37 minutes (vs Kerzhakov’s 143) has already notched two more attempts on target and a goal. With the cost of fuel rising sharply, no doubt Kerzhakov will be on his way to Liverpool or Chelsea soon to give Carroll or Torres some competition as the best saver of heating bills on the subs bench.

Shots on target: 0
Shots off Target: 10
Goals: 0

Cristiano Ronaldo
Lets face it, despite the strong pre-tournament possibility that Portugal would only play 3 matches, Ronaldo made a lot of Fantasy Football teams with 10% of Dream Footy players having picked Europe’s best player and many many more being put off by his extortionate price tag the bankers money would have been on poor old Ronny scoring at least one hattrick in his first two games.

Instead his tournament so far though has been filled with more shrugs, cheek puffs and missed sitters than a drunk, blind folded Messi with his laces tied to his neck and thoughts of his 71 goals in 64 starts for club and country last season a blurry memory. He currently has more shots on target than anyone else at Euro 2012 and the look on his face often that of a man who is convinced there is a global conspiracy against his utter genius but dares not say a word because there is no extra room left for him to climb at the top of the twat-o-meter.

Shots on target: 8
Shots off target: 3
Goals: 0

Robin Van Persie
After an outstanding season of 38 goals in 52 starts for club and country Reliant Robin is causing a stormy debate in Holland. Having been favoured over Huntelaar (47 goals in 53 starts including 12 in 8 Euro 2012 qualifying games) he’s surprised us all not with stunning volleys and supreme confidence but instead by fluffing his lines repeatedly at key moments and leaving Holland on the brink of doing a France. If he’d been wearing his Arsenal shirt he would undoubtedly be the tournament’s top scorer right now with Holland having scored 400 goals and secured 3 million points.

Shots on target: 6
Shots off target: 5
Goals: 1
Lifeguard (Bayern München)(Footytube Staff) 2 years ago
Or as an EA announcer on my FIFA 06 used to say, "You could've put a net beside the net and that still wouldn't have gone in!"

Honestly - These last two have put their team in a tight spot by not producing goals thus far. Ronaldo and Portugal failed to score against Germany, and squeezed by Denmark by a goal with Ronaldo missing two glorious chances. If Ronaldo doesn't wake up by Sunday, he'll be packing up and heading home for an early vacation.

Van Persie finally scored.... Too late to do anything as the Netherlands were already down by two. Again - it's not only Van Persie's fault, others on his team had chances that didn't go in, but all around they aren't producing enough to help their teams.

Its a shame when one players performance is the difference between qualifying and being knocked out - and they fail to perform
SKool (Arsenal) 2 years ago
I still can't believe CR7 missed those chances. He'll be gutted personally for his individual performance. Plus is maybe time to put Roman Pav in the starting line-up instead of Krezha
SKool (Arsenal) 2 years ago
Include Benzema too
BeefCurtains (Limerick) 2 years ago
".... We’re yet to see a 0-0 draw"    And cue the footballing maleficence that is the England team Lol!    >



   
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